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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He's a tw@tbag right?

107 replies

throneofgames · 29/07/2016 13:50

Basically my H is just finishing his masters and has been going around like a bear with a sore head moaning how busy he is. Yesterday I left the house at 8am to drop our 14mo off at his nan's to allow H to work without distraction and I nipped back home because I'd forgotten something and he'd gone back to bed. I asked what he was doing when he's already passed the deadline and he said he was ill. Irritating. I said irrespective of this, he needed to be doing his work or he'd not pass I.e take some pills and crack on. I mean, we all have to at times don't we? He went crazy and called me thick, selfish and childish and proceeded to smash up his laptop, pushing me out the way and smashed some crockery etc.Oh and I said I hope he wouldn't ever scream at our son in that manner and he said he would if HE needed it! Urgh. I hate bullies.Of course today he says that his outburst was my fault for not asking him if he was ok when he was back in bed. That is messed up thinking at its best. I've spent the last 14 months looking after our LO singlehanded to allow him to do his masters and that's what I get? Nope. Not doing it anymore. Rant over!

OP posts:
throneofgames · 30/07/2016 15:09

Twatbag wants to speak to me on the phone... Anyone up for bingo on what he'll say?!

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/07/2016 15:19

You are weakening your resolve. Why?

I'm glad your family are supporting you, BUT they're a bit misguided. You need to let people know the truth. You are leaving him because he's emotionally abusive, violent when angry, he's escalating & you're scared he will physically hurt you. (If you're not, you bloody well should be).

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 30/07/2016 15:21

Pack some of his stuff, drop it off at his parents if possible or his friends if not. You don't need him coming back after the festival. Tell him he can get the rest when yes decided where he's going to be staying.

Do not let him back.

toadgirl · 30/07/2016 15:26

Twatbag wants to speak to me on the phone... Anyone up for bingo on what he'll say?!

Either:

(1) More abuse (you don't need that).
(2) Apologies and sucking-up 'cos he senses you are pissed off (you don't need that).

PsychedelicSheep · 30/07/2016 16:00

I did a masters last year, while working and as a single mum to two kids. It was fucking stressful but I never would have treated my boyfriend like this (who is also a musician btw but an egoless one who is lovely!)

It's completely unacceptable. But unless I'm missing a lot of background I'm not seeing a lot to support BPD? (I work in this field)

smilingeyes11 · 30/07/2016 16:42

Don't speak to him on the phone. There is nothing to say. Have you called Women's Aid yet?

pointythings · 30/07/2016 19:04

I'm not seeing BPD either, and I'm in the field too. I see a selfish, immature twatbag. Don't weaken, get rid. You will find that without him in your life, you will make friends and have a good life.

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