can you have a happy marriage without kissing?

[Mrstumbletap]

Hi,

Just interested in the kissing going on in your relationships, DH and I kiss very differently and no matter the conversations we have had about it we just like to kiss differently, and naturally want to go back to the style we want. I am wondering, other than a peck on the lips or a longer sort of French kiss (is that what it's called without tongues?) could we just basically abandon snogging and still have a great intimate relationship and sex life?

Do any of you not kiss and things are still good? Have any of you loved your DH but just not been a fan of the way you kiss?

[toldmywrath]

Yes you can. (this is my answer to OP's question)
Have any of you snoggers wondered what happens when your partner/spouse /whatever loses their teeth & has false ones. Or has massive gaps due to teeth extractions? or should that be

[whateverrrr]

Does he actually turn you on Mrstumbletap? I think that being turned on just by looking at him is important and then a little kiss can turn into something much deeper and erotic. I think if you love kissing your man then your definately turned on by him.

[nomorefrizz]

I think I fell ion love with my husband because of his kisses. I always make sure we both use dental floss regularly because cant have good kissing with halitosis! Each to their own though but for me its important and still makes me tingle.

[AGruffaloCrumble]

You don't have to kiss to be turned on by your partner there are other ways of showing affection.

[greedygorb]

I've been with DH for over 20 years. He can't snog. He just can't. He's dreadful at it and would never let me teach him. So we just stopped. We are basically on the verge of an amicable separation due to lots of issues but tbh this is one of the minor things that is on my list. I can't imagine never snogging again. It really depresses me I haven't for such a long time.It's the lack of intimacy I think.

[whateverrrr]

AGruffaloCrumble No, you dont have to kiss to be turned on. If looking at him or being touched by him turns you on and makes you tingle then kissing after that just deepens the feeling. (which is what i said). But most people who do love kissing their partner tend to be definately into them.
Kissing in our society is an important indication of the health of a relationship. For instance lots or prostitutes will not kiss a customer as that is reserved for their own partner and seen as exclusive. People who have affairs generally avoid kissing their partner as it feels too intimate.
Sometimes not enjoying kissing your partner can also indicate that maybe you are not totally into them.

[AGruffaloCrumble]

I can assure you my relationship is very healthy and I am completely into my DP. I would say things like orgasms and foreplay are more indicative of being completely into your partner. I don't enjoy kissing with any partner.

[whateverrrr]

Well as I said, sometimes it can be indicative of problems. Was talking generally and not referring to you personally AGruffallo. Sorry you felt it was a personal attack.

[WrappedInABlankie]

I occasionally give DP a kiss goodbye. We never kiss during sex though

[MissClarke86]

We also do the odd peck when saying bye etc, but rarely proper kissing.

I've never really thought about it so it's definitely not a barrier to our relationship. He's a bit more full on with it than me so we do kiss during foreplay but not for long and it's more for him than me. I do LOVE kisses on the neck etc though.

I've never been one to just sit and kiss for minutes at a time, I find it dull and it makes me feel like a teenager!

[CrushedNinjas]

Nope, I don't like kissing my DH. Never have. Previous partners were definitely better kissers.
I don't like sex with him much either. Half a dozen times a year is plenty.
We've been together 14 years and rub along fine though. Just not an overly sexy passionate type of relationship. We do hold hands when we're out walking.
Thinking about it, I kiss and hug my little DS loads.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"People who have affairs generally avoid kissing their partner as it feels too intimate."

Do you have a source for this as it doesn't ring true to me? I'm presuming by partner you mean mistress/lover rather than official partner/spouse?

[Cleanermaidcook]

It's entirely personal to you as a couple, if you're fine and happy not kissing/snogging then thats obviously absolutely fine.

Personally it's very important to me, it's not really a sex thing for me its a more intimate connection. I can't really explain why it's just very important to me. It wouldn't matter if dh had no/false teeth it's just a connection that we need as a couple.

Each to their own though, every couple is different, as long as what you do works for you it really doesn't matter what me or anybody else is doing. X

[AGruffaloCrumble]

whateverrrr
I don't think you can really compare non-kissing couples relationships to that between a prostitute and a customer and not ruffle some feathers. I would also like to see any evidence behind your claims.

[TwatbadgingCuntfuckery]

Kissing is what separates male friends from partners. I kiss partners not friends but I can cuddle both friends and partners.

plus the lips are such an important part of a relationship where ever they are places or used. I find it weird not to be kissed during sex. I feel like I'm some sort of sex doll if im not kissed. That I'm not really there.

So yeah, kissing is really important because when my muff is on strike or a chap can't get it up/keep it up kissing is the next best thing.

[SirVixofVixHall]

I can't imagine being able to get into the mood for what the pp called "bedroom antics" without kissing. It always starts with a kiss. But DH is a gorgeous kisser. I don't think I could really fancy someone who wasn't a good kisser, for me it would kill the passion stone dead, so it is interesting that for some it seems unimportant. I couldn't cope with a slobberer, or a pointy stabby tongue. There is a horrible video on youtube of a man kissing his wife for the first time (US Christian, just married) and ye Gods, it is horrifying. I hope he got better .

[AcrossthePond55]

So is that that you don't like the way he kisses you rather than not liking kissing in general?

Because if that's it, kissing can be taught, you know.

[Fraggledup]

I would love to kiss my husband and be totally relaxed,

I would be so happy to feel that wonderful zingy feeling.... Sadly I don't think I ever will again.

I'm not sure I'm able to even do it with another man when I break free, I'm not sure I've got the confidence!

Oh but the joy if I could.


I'm not techy enough to do my original link. Sorry.

[Heidi42]

If we snog too much I get a sore mouth and then I get cold sores so we tend to just kiss bye bye good night or when we have a cwtch and during the bedroom antics lol we are still crazy about each other after all these years so I don't think it matters one jot!

[RingUpRingRingDown]

Dh isn't that great at kissing, and it does make me a bit sad. For him kissing is just a thing you do to indicate that you want to have sex.

However, I don't think great kissing alone is enough. I was once with someone who was a fantastic kisser. I could have kissed him for hours on end (and did, and still think about it from time to time in a wistful way) but the sex was rubbish!

[ZansForCans]

OMG I love being properly snogged.

Like a PP, kissing is a minor one of a number of things involved in my recent separation. Ex doesn't like to kiss except when actually DTD or preparing to. And even then, only in bed Besides that, I had to teach him and he did improve a lot, but the fact I had to kind of lead the way made it less sexy.

I've actually had some epic kissers in my time which means I do know what I've been missing and I'm hoping I'll get that again. One man in my youth who I had fancied for AGES just grabbed his opportunity and pushed me against a wall and snogged my face off in the most masterful mills & boon style ever - which worked because we were both up for it (obviously you have to be sure to do that!) For various reasons nothing much came of it, we didn't end up a couple but I'll never forget it. I'd love a relationship to feature moments like that.

If you're both not bothered though, it could be fine.

[Oblomov16]

We kiss goodbye all the time.
The Kiss I give him during sex means i'm so incredibly passionate, I've never loved anyone like I you. Totally different.

[Pollaidh]

SirVix good heavens that video is horrifying, I had to cover my face. I had no idea some religious groups don't even kiss before marriage..

We do hello goodbye, good night peck at the least every day. In the evening and weekends we cuddle during the day and kiss a bit more during the cuddle - not usually snogging though.

Marital relations as someone put it, in a very Austen way, good, in addition to mainly pecks, kissing of bodies, not much snogging. And then sometimes (not very often) we start a session with a long long kiss, and it's great.

I've had a couple of exes who did swoon worthy kisses. Dh and my styles don't necessarily mesh. I tend to need to take control of the style.

We've been together 15 years.

[Lnfb85]

I wish we French kissed more. However we do kiss on the lips plenty of times throughout the day. Every time we say hello or goodbye, goodnight. We kiss goodbye even if one of us is just popping out to tesco for 10 minutes. Full on kissing with tongues doesn't really happen anymore, can't remember the last time we did that. Kissing each other while being intimate is longer and more patio are but no tongues.

[GladAllOver]

Are you folks talking only about kissing on the mouth, or not kissing anywhere?
I'd hate not to share kisses with DH.