can you have a happy marriage without kissing?

[Mrstumbletap]

Hi,

Just interested in the kissing going on in your relationships, DH and I kiss very differently and no matter the conversations we have had about it we just like to kiss differently, and naturally want to go back to the style we want. I am wondering, other than a peck on the lips or a longer sort of French kiss (is that what it's called without tongues?) could we just basically abandon snogging and still have a great intimate relationship and sex life?

Do any of you not kiss and things are still good? Have any of you loved your DH but just not been a fan of the way you kiss?

[TheStuffedPenguin]

There's a reason prostitutes will have sex but not kiss - it is more intimate . A happy marriage without it ? Don't go down that path. Been there with my ex H.

[searchaway]

Nah. It’s not my thing. Sitting there mashing somebody’s face. Boring. Makes my lips sore and I’ve got better things to be getting on with

[Sugartitss]

yes of course you can.

i absolutely hate kissing, i have no desire to let someone stick their tongue in my mouth that’s had food, coffee etc stuck to it.

oh fuck no.

[Menora]

I don’t think there is universal kissing but overall it tends to be not too much tongue but a little, swapping between tongue open mouthed and just kissing on the lips swapping sides, kissing neck in between and stuff like that surely?

[Menora]

As for changing kissing I have changed plenty of partners kissing. To my way 😂
I kiss them how I want to be kissed and they usually just get the hang of it?

[Menora]

I am not married 😂 but kissing is so important to me, I couldn’t not do it with a partner. Not only do I love it for affection it is part of sexual attraction for me. And a huge part of bedroom antics. I want to kiss the whole time!

[Gutterton]

Slobber/drool can’t be deliberate though can it? Must be some sort of salivary mal-function......yuck

[SirVixofVixHall]

I've never seen the Notebook so I don't know which kiss it is.

[Mrstumbletap]

Oooo it worked!

[Mrstumbletap]

m.youtube.com/watch?v=B01wpq8QRB0

Not sure if this will work, I never posted a link before, but I like the kiss from the notebook.

[SirVixofVixHall]

I can't think what the best cinematic kiss would be IMO. Will have to mull that one over.

[SirVixofVixHall]

There's not a woman on this earth who wants a)Slobber/drool b)Wild stabby tongue.

[CalmItKermitt]

Exactly Sir Vix.

Think about all the threads asking for people's favourite movie kisses. They tend to be similar.
Everyone (quite rightly) watches the "crap kiss" video and wants to retch.

If everyone's kiss style is so different and it's all a matter of preference, where are all the posters going "Well actually the way that bloke kisses is HAWT!"

[SirVixofVixHall]

There is no universal right way, 'tis true. There is , however, a universal wrong way, and it's in that video. *shudders at memory.

[Mrstumbletap]

Be prepared for him to say the same to you though, as he may think you are doing it wrong. As what is right or wrong?

[ChipInTheSugar]

I've been reading and other similar threads on kissing - I'm dating a guy whose kissing style doesn't do anything for me, but is very nice in other ways. The question is, do I tell him to change how he kisses me? It would seem the obvious solution, but I think if someone said it to me, I would tell them where to stick their kisses!

[Mrstumbletap]

There can't be a universal way surely?

My DH and I have talked about the way we kiss and we definitely are different in our preferences, he prefers less tongue I prefer more, but not pokey, smooth, If that is even how you would describe it?

I remember kissing a guy when I was about 18 and he literally knocked my socks off with the way he kissed, I kissed him non stop for about 15 minutes. Didn't really fancy him though, and he was a bit of an idiot.

[CalmItKermitt]

Do you think there's a universally accepted "right" way to kiss?

Because think of all the films where there's a lovely kissing scene.....it's never a sloppy or poky-tongue one is it?

[RubyFlint]

Unsee not under

[RubyFlint]

OMG that video!!! I wish I could under that. WTF was he thinking? Poor woman... And caught for all time on film. Eek.

[CatsNOwls]

Don't see why not. Not everyone has the same style and a lot of people I know don't kiss their partner at all or very rarely because they aren't into kissing (or have sensory issues which make kissing a problem).

If you're having other forms of intimacy, it fine. Not everyone have physical intimacy at all because not everyone is a physical affection giver/receiver by preference. I think as long as the two of you are comfortable there is no problem.

[mellowfartfulness]

I used to snog DH loads when we first met - new relationship zing and all that. In fact the day I met him we did little else. But actually our styles are quite different and I have got less tolerant of wet snogs as time goes on - nowadays we don't really kiss on the lips at all. When the kissing first started to fade out I was worried that it meant something awful about our relationship, but we've been married years and we're happy. He kisses me hello and goodbye every day on the top of my head!

I think there's a lot of variation in what people do together, more than popular culture would lead you to believe. Especially in relationships that span many years, because people stop being so conscious about What Dating Is Like and just relax into their own style. Even things that culturally we consider 'the basics' can fall off the menu if they don't work for both people.

[ParadiseCity]

I don't know, it all seems a bit teenagery and sparkly unicorn Facebook meme shite, to say that kissing is essential to a relationship.

As long as you enjoy shagging each other I'm sure it's all fine.