DH told me I have fat legs...

[Runningupthathill82]

...And he's right, I do. I never seem to lose weight from them. And I appreciate his honesty, but at the same time I'm a bit upset that that's how he sees me.

This was last night. I was doing my strengthening exercises in the lounge and he commented that it's strange how I have such fat legs for someone who's otherwise slimmish and fit. He didn't say it in a mean way, but a matter of fact one. And he is right, I do!

Not sure why I'm posting really. I'm hurt. I made light of it at the time but today I'm feeling v self conscious and worried about putting my running shorts on.

I put on 4st while pregnant with DD (now 6 months) and have lost 3.5 of it. I thought I was doing well, but now I feel kind of crushed. And inadequate next to the lithe women at his running club who are all far teenier than me.

Not sure why he'd say what he did, and not sure why it's bothered me so much.

He sounds very focussed OP, to the point of being obsessed. I think that this sort of person doesn't always realise how hard ordinary folk work at what they do.

When I met DH I was mega fit, as was he. I didn't gain weight during pregnancies as I was always so poorly but I did lose fitness and then gained weight through illness.

I remember having to buy a bigger size of walking trouser and DH saying 'thats a shame' when I told him that my old ones didn't fit. I did tell him to fuck off though I'm afraid and he was absolutely mortified once he realised. Brain off, mouth on.

During our marriage he has maintained his level of fitness, mostly because his job required him to work away from home with a day off every other day and plenty of time to kill. He is still mega mega fit at 50.

I am not, I have had three bouts of serious illness and an ongoing health condition. I do my best, cycling upwards of 50 miles most weeks and running a bit or using our rowing machine. Of course this doesn't compare to his cycling 200+ miles a week and getting up at sparrows fart to do 45 mins on the rowing machine. Fine for him if he wants to do that, but I don't and I know I don't. Everything in moderation for me.

I do do my best, for me though and not for anyone else. Even as a size 8 I was a pear shape, short of surgery I will always be a pear shape.

You should be very proud of your weight loss (especially after having a baby such a short time ago). Try not to compare yourself to anyone else, there will always be someone fitter, thinner, more muscular, skinnier legs, etc., etc..

Tell him to wind his neck in and give you a bit of respect for having lost so much weight post partum and getting going again at all at this point. If he wants to obsess that is fine as long as he realises that you don't have to join in and follow his mantra.

Didnt RTFT but if it really is just your legs that are chunky, and especially if they are painful too, get the doctor to check out lipoedema.

Wise words dollface we can all take something positive from that post, as well as the OP.
We need to love our wonderful amazing bodies more, whatever their size or shape!

OP despite my legs being chunky my DH tells me they are beautiful and should show them off more not going to happen. They are fit and strong but they are where I keep my fat. At least it's not sitting round my middle giving me heart disease.

Urgh, what a prick! OP I have the same body shape and am also an 8-10. I just never lose mweight from legs, although o don't think I do as much exercise as you. Ignore him. I would certainly make it clear to him that he has upset you.

I think you need to tell your DH how much his comments have upset you. Hopefully he will apologise to you for being so mean. Does he understand that there isn't much you can do to change your natural body shape?

Also, it's time to insist that he goes to the gym less often so that you can get some much-needed time to yourself.

Well for a start, his advice is wrong. You can't spot burn fat and "toning" (meaningless word really) won't really reduce the size of your thighs. Even if you could, it's not that running gives you slim legs, it's that people with very light frames have an advantage when it comes to endurance running, and therefore you get a concentration of them at running clubs (I'm talking road running- trail running is more complex as evidenced by women like Anna Frost). If you went to a performance focused Crossfit gym you'd find very different body shapes dominating- typically women with a heavier build and thighs that could crush moon rock.

However, that's splitting hairs and he was, at best, thoughtless, and at worst, deliberately mean. I think it's definitely time to say "actually DH, you;re right. Let's look at our diaries and divvy up the leisure time more equitably" . Every cloud.....

I have always been bottom heavy- DEXA scan showed that my BF % is 19% on my trunk, 20% on my arms and close to 30% on my legs. I've accepted it now and taken up trail running and Crossfit .

I'm sorry but you need a new husband and some better mates. He is horrible and so are they.

Your partner is supposed to be supportive, loving and kind and your mates are supposed to have your back (backfat an' all). None of this is happening here.

Btw, I'm three stone overweight at least and I have skinny legs. (I look like Humpty Dumpty) It's the way I'm made. If my husband said anything my mates would tell him he was a wanker and if he heard someone else say something like that about me he'd probably punch them. Because they love me and care about me, not my weird body shape.

Just wanted to say op I think you have done amazingly 3.5 stone!!! Wow!!!! And a marathon!!! I think it's good you've posted because you can see that's how normal people will view it!!!! Well done X X X

Everything doll said

Plus this However, that's splitting hairs and he was, at best, thoughtless, and at worst, deliberately mean. I think it's definitely time to say "actually DH, you;re right. Let's look at our diaries and divvy up the leisure time more equitably"

You sound fuckng amazing OP I've just restarted running after a very long lull and done my first half marathon, just eying up marathons wistfully and wondering if I have time to train... I am in awa of YOUR achievements.
Ps I have fat legs AND a fat arse and am currently slouched on the sofa putting off my run and scoffing jelly babies. DH spotted and rather than criticising, offered me a cuppa to wash them down with. He can be a nob at times, but does know the score :)

a half marathon two months after giving birth? bloody hell OP your legs (and the rest of you) are amazing. I think his response when you tell him how much he's upset you will be very telling. Hopefully he will be mortified and apologise profusely.

OP Google lipodema. Not saying you have this but it cant be helped if you do.

Its hereditary My gran had it.........as do i .

Despite a 10 stone weight loss my legs still have a lumpy appearance and no trefalgar no amount of leg toning will improve it.

Sorry ravenmum I didnt spot your post until now.

Towards the end of my grans life she couldnt walk properly........she shuffled.

Only read the first post, but the only reply that would be justified by his observation would be "And...?"

I think I hate your husband, he's a class A scumbag. I'll tell him to stick his Mens Heath Magazine down his throat. What an insensitive knob head.

You sound ace and I bet you're gorgeous.

Is this really the man who you want to grow old with? What happens if you become ill? he sounds so insensitive, vain and unsupportive.

Cant see him stepping up if the OP were to get ill.

Hes the sort that would moan about medication weight gain though. Id lay money on it.

This thread makes me feel very thankful for my unfit, one-pack husband who has never said a single unkind comment about anyone's body.