Abuse I watched murdered by my boyfriend I'm in it

[broken16]

I sat and watched this the other night ironically with my boyfriend and he talked through it saying how much of a nutcase the man in it was and I watched it thinking how much he is like him.
When he's happy I'm allowed to be when he's unhappy I have to be unhappy too.
I have to send evidence of my where abouts answer my phone on the first ring or I get questioned over and over .
He doesn't hit me but the emotional abuse is draining day after day. I left him some months ago and he did the exact same routine the man on the programme did even proposing to me promising he would change blah blah it's worse than before nothing's changed.
I feel so stupid three years for me now I feel I will never break away.
He calls me stupid and tells me I don't think accused me of stealing from him out of his wallet and stares at me waiting for me to confess to something I didn't do.
Nothing I say nothing I do matters I do everything but it's never enough I try to be like him and be nasty and stand up to him nothing works.
I can't leave again it took all my strength last time silly silly me :-(

And call your mum and tell her.
And call WA and see if they can find you somewhere in the new area your mum is moving to.

I've been following your thread op and I'm really worried for you. I think you need to start making plans to leave today. His 'apology' out of the blue last night makes me think he's reading this thread - could he have hacked your account? Do you post here from your phone or a pc/laptop? Do you get emails from mumsnet that he might have seen? I think you said earlier that he doesn't know about it but if he's seen an email or your account history it wouldn't take too much digging to find it.

Please stay safe, he sounds very unpredictable. You say that he would smash your things if he knew you were talking to others about him. That's only one step away from him smashing you, or you beautiful children.

Remember the TV programme. I'm not trying to scare you but you need to realise the seriousness of this. Sometimes when you've lived with the same situation for a long time it seems almost normal. You know it's not normal but perhaps you've not yet comprehended quite how dangerous it could be.

Moving will be an upheaval for your children, there's no doubt about that. But you must keep them safe. You know him better than anyone but ask yourself whether he could turn on them to get at you? There would be no better way to make you stay than threats against your children. Don't let it reach that stage. Please tell as many people irl as you can, that you can trust. They will help you. They can also help to protect you from him. Remember you can also ask the police for help.

Thinking of you xxx one day things will be better, so much better than this.

I'm really sorry I have not posted. I went away as I told you the other day and he did what he always does which is be as nasty as possible to ruin my bday.
We went on a city break he had a huge row on me for no reason and left me on the town centre when he had the car I looked around for him and then thought I'm not calling him .
In the end I had to call him an hour had gone by it was getting late and I had no cash on me.
We went back to the room and I was crying the whole way back he didn't care he went to the pub by the hotel .
I started packing my stuff to get the train I had enough by this point it was my birthday and I had been crying most of the day.
He must of knew as he came back crying his out saying he was sorry and he didn't know why he was doing it blah blah.
I just went along with it we went for a meal and all the way through I had to hold the tears back and pretend to be happy.
He proceeded to tell me that I love myself and think that I am it but it's a good job I don't have a nice body or I would be flaunting it I'm a size 8. He knows I have bad body image due to having children I didn't need to hear how shitty my body is when I'm at rock bottom Thankyou .
The next day he took me to a museum and I said thanks for paying and he point blank told me he wasn't F ing paying for me and I better put my half into his bank.
On the way home he went back to his kind of normal and was ok but I've had the worst bday ever .
I've told my mom what he did now

I'm sorry you've had a rubbish birthday .

I'm glad you've been able to tell your mum.
Is she being supportive?

Glad you've told your mom and I hope she's being supportive.

I hope this is the straw that has broken the camel's back and you are quietly making your exit plan.

Broken, he sounds disgusting and very abusive.

you say he returned to the hotel, crying, just as you were going to get the train, had you text or phoned someone to say you were leaving?

This man is very nasty, what did your mum say?

Yes I told my friend and he must of known as came back then.
I've only told her a little so far I haven't had chance to talk her properly at the moment. Because she was at work and when I get home later he's there so I told her not to messages or call me when he's there.

How could he have known you told your friend. Not to sound paranoid, but do you think there's some way he's monitoring your texts or phone calls?

If you haven't, you need to change all your passwords. Or consider buying a burner phone to keep hidden for communications that you'd rather he not know about.

He tried to call me and my phone says on the other line so call can not be taken so he knew I was on the phone .

Block him, have nothing more to do with him. In fact change your number so he can't contact you.

Get this man out of your life by whatever means possible

Can't realistically do much till the end of the wk the kids break up then aswell so much easier in that respect.
Just have to sit tight now and come up with soemthing somehow

Do consider buying a burner phone then if you can. At least you'll be able to contact people without him knowing it.

Have you asked your mum for help? If you were my daughter I'd tell you to come home even if it mean being crowded. Even if it meant sleeping three to a bed.

Broken you are doing well, you have stopped excusing the behaviour and started to see it for what it is. That's a huge step and very important. You have some difficult work to do but you have already proved you can do it - this is like getting ready to power up the hill or take a dive when you already feel tired. Yes its hard and your body might not feel able but you can do it with support and encouragement. I really wish you all strength in your decisions you sound lovely and must start to believe that for yourself,

This is awful to read. Hope you are safe. When his he away?? I know how hard it feels to leave and how much easier it is to pretend it's ok, that you have the life you want. If you are going to leave, I hope you do, don't wait until November. The school hols is a good time to leave. I just feel so sad for you. Well done for telling your mum, could you just go to where she is living now and her be there in a few months? I would plot to take as much money as you can. Stay safe and strong. I know much harder said than done.