Please help - appear to be pregnant with no 3, DH is saying NO, how do we decide and what's it like with 3?

[ButterfliesInStomach]

I tested twice today and it's saying I'm pregnant. It wasn't planned but we haven't been using contraception. Madness. However I guess as I'm not opposed to the idea I just didn't worry. Don't know what DH's excuse is as he is saying that he absolutley doesn't want a third child and he's not changing his mind.

We already have 2 sons, the eldest has special needs. The youngest just turned 1.

I think we'll cope he's saying we can't afford it, our home is too small and he just doesn't want another child, end of.

Although I'm scared I also think that both of my children would benefit from another sibling. Especially the youngest as he will have someone to share the responsibility of his brother with etc.

So how do we come to a decision when I don't want an abortion and he does?

For those with a third child please can you tell me how it affected you both and as a family and what are the pros and cons?

Thanks all.

I will show him this thread when we sit down to talk, so please keep telling me about your experiences with 3 children.

I have thought about counseling, well only since yesterday, where do you go to get counseled on this sort of thing, does anyone know?

A very similar thing happened to a friend a year ago she got pregnant with no 3 DH adamant he didn't want any more, how would they cope financially? He came round over the next few months and by the birth was over the moon with his new dd. IME men always kick off about things but if you givethem time they come round to things...

you can be counselled for it anywhere, but i'd recommend a BACP registered one as you know they are properly trained and monitored. If you go down the route of termination, you should be offered a NHS one, but IME their quality varies from satisfactory to poor, sometimes you do get what you pay for with counselling.

Something like Brooke Advisory may be able to help you aswell.

II've also started a thread in the special needs section but I wanted to let anyone who was still listening know that you've all been a great help to me and hopefully to my DH.
I printed off your messages and gave them to him to read.
He didn't say a word but he read every word quietly and afterwards he looked at me, smiled and gave a little laugh.
I'm probably reading far too much into that look but at least he didn't say 'whatever, I still don't want this baby'.

I'm so glad. Keep talking. Don't stop until it feels OK enough. Actually don't stop then!!!

That seems a promising start Definitely keep talking.

Oh my GOD, we're going for it, it's ok!
Oh wow!
I'm so relieved and so happy.

i said that I knew I would always regret not havuing this this child and that regret would get worse and worse. I then said that you can never regret having achild only not having it.

He said he couldn't argue and we hugged and I cried and he's gone to tell his parents they are expecting another grandchild. I've told my 2 bessies and seeign my mum tomorrow

I'm so happy

I'm also so scared!

Thank you ALL

PS - I'll be ready to share my true identity with you soon!

That is good news BIS

Great news!

Wishing you a trouble free pregnancy and lots of fun and laughter with your three children

I'm really pleased.

Best of luck with it. Glad you were able to make the right decision all round.

that's wonderful news!!!

vasectomy then?!

so so happy for you

I've been following your thread BIS. I'm thrilled for you. Wonderful news!

Yay!!!
That has made my day. Now if MY number 3 would only stop crying and go to sleep!!

Great!! (glad my story didnt put you off)

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BiS, this thread has made me cry I am so pleased for you and your DH. I have 3, and will just say, it is hard when they are babies, but it gets easier everyday as they gain more independence.

Pleased to hear it! Have finally put two and two together - doh!

Can reiterate the sentiments behind my best and worst things. the best far far outweighs the worst. Neither of you will ever regret it!

I'm so happy for you! We have 3, the 3rd was unplanned, it took us both a while to come to terms with it, we were so shocked (me less so). At some point in the pregnancy we stopped thinking of it as "unplanned" and started thing of or baby as an unexpected blessing. life is hectic, my eldest was 3 1/2 when the baby arrived, but neither of us can imagine life without lo.congratulations

That is greta; happy ending