Ghosted by ex...now he wants me back, what do I do?

[NewbieElizabeth]

I would really appreciate any thoughts on this!

November 2014 I met a man through a temporary job I had. Met on a night out, swapped numbers, I told him my plan was to move abroad for a year and was looking for a job. He didn't seem bothered by this, texted me a lot and flirted. I got my job abroad and I told him, he arranges to meet the night before I move.

The day comes, and I text him. He never replied, and the next day I moved. I was pretty upset, and wondered what had happened, but got on with my life.

May 2015 out of the blue he contacted me. It turned out he had stopped all contact because....he got a huge spot near his lip that day and didn't want to kiss me or for me to see it

Because of the way we lost contact, I have always wondered what could have been. Now, I'm back in the UK for good within a few weeks and he has said he wants to give it a go.

My instincts say no way he cannot be trusted but a small part of me wonders....Is this a bad idea?

Thank you for reading!

[gettingtherequickly]

Yes I think it's a bad idea, if he'd wanted to see you he would have.

[quicklydecides]

So were you actually girlfriend and boyfriend?
It sounds like you weren't.
And he wants to"gives it a go"..... does that just mean"go out on a date"
I'm wondering why it's all so dramatic and serious?

[gaggiagirl]

Eh? You haven't even had one date with him!

[NewbieElizabeth]

quickly, thanks for your reply, we were together officially (but of course not serious)for a matter of weeks, probably two weeks before he ghosted me, sorry that isn't very clear. By give it a go he means get back together.

Thanks also gettingtherequickly this is what I'm thinking

[TheStoic]

What happens next time he gets a better offer spot on his lip? Will he run away and hide like a 5yo?

[penguinplease]

It hasn't worked out with anyone else in the time you've been away so he'd like another go?
Don't waste your time!

[Isetan]

May 2015 out of the blue he contacted me. It turned out he had stopped all contact because....he got a huge spot near his lip that day and didn't want to kiss me or for me to see it .

Well that was quite the crisis, no wonder he disappeared. Seriously OP, WTAF! Block this twat and stop asking 'what if?' and start asking 'why am I giving this idiot a second thought?'

[NewbieElizabeth]

Apologies all...in my bid to edit my OP I left out a very important part, that we were together for a few weeks. Ha Thestoic I don't want to be cynical but I did wonder if he was in a long term relationship and as I was going away he thought he could get away with it, but she found out, he got back in touch with me after they split up...don't know

[NewbieElizabeth]

Isetan that made me laugh. A flipping spot wouldn't stop me if I really wanted to see someone what's for sure

[Whocansay]

Even if you take his reason at face value, it makes him a complete, shallow idiot. Why bother?

He's heard you're coming back an fancies a shag, imho. I'd tell him to do one personally.

[Whocansay]

and fancies a shag! Need to check before posting!

[Lookatyourwatchnow]

No OP!

[NewbieElizabeth]

I need to check my posts too, missed out half the info needed

It looks like I might be right to follow my instincts to stay away though...pretty unanimous

[FairyDogMother11]

I'd like to hope you want better for yourself than that. Leave him behind and move forward on to someone who actually is worth your time!

[EarthboundMisfit]

Yeah steer well clear.

[NewbieElizabeth]

Thanks Fairy - probably the crux of the issue

Thanks all for your comments

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

A spot! Dumbest excuse ever.

Just ignore him and stop thinking "What if?" and start thinking, "Thank fuck I got rid of that twat"

[handslikecowstits]

Sounds as though he is on a sexual drought atm and is going through his little black book

Yup. Booty call.

[NewbieElizabeth]

I get the sexual drought comments.

I'm not 100% sure that's it, simply because we have spoken for over a year with me not being in the UK so it isn't the easiest lead up in his eyes! Not sure he would bother...

However, whatever he wants from me, I was clearly not worth so much as a text message in his eyes and I think this speaks about what kind of future we would have

[Jemmima]

Did you have sex the night before you left?

[Jemmima]

Did you contact him to say you were back? How did he know?

[user1467042399]

How old are you both?

[NewbieElizabeth]

No we didn't have sex, I didn't see him the night before I left.

He got back in touch in May 2015 and we have spoken for the past year, not as a couple at all, just casually via Facebook messaging. He has always known I was moving back this July, he just messaged me to ask if I was still moving back and I said yes.