Well, I for one just feel like slapping every single person on this show, mediators included, which for me is a very odd reaction, as I don't believe in violence, apologies for coming across so aggressively.
I guess I am just appalled at how grown ups behave, with little or no respect for themselves, their previous life partner and above else, their children.
I cannot believe this is is how mediation is undertaken. I think it's very nice and useful to have people meet in a balanced environment where they don't feel judged, but at the same time I think it just enables adults to have a place for airing their immature beliefs.
It beggars belief, all of them, I don't know how many times I thought, but how are you thinking of the best for the children, it's all me, me, me. It's like the grown up has left the room and all we're left with are with stroppy teenagers refusing to give in or compromise, adults who clearly have not moved on past their hurt, but who forget they are parents above all else. And it seems no-one, not a mediator, a parent, a friend, can call them to reason and say "hey, you're being a selfish twat, these children deserve a mum and a dad, and a conflict free life".
Yvonne, I'll address you since you're on the forum. You did go on television, the show was probably edited as they'd see fit. Are we allowed to judge you? Of course not, but you cannot naively think that we are not entitled to form our opinions of everyone on the show. I normally stick by mums and abbhor the witch hunting mums seem to be subjected in today's society, but the only thing I'll add is, parents are the adults, parents make the decisions. Parents should ask for children's opinions, but also be aware of not burdening them with every problem and with making decisions on their behalf, as children can often say anything to agree with their parents, to spare them any further suffering. Nevertheless, thank you for going on the show, and I really wish you all the best.
As for the situations on the show, they angered me tremendously. I am a feminist and do think that women need to be better respected in our society. But to ask for respect, they should give respect back. I saw several women being tremendously manipulative and using their children as barganing tools.
I think they're being foolish, children could do with having as many people in their lives who love them, regardless of whether parents love each other or not. Separation/ divorce is never easy, it is without question one of the most painful things a person can endure, the breakdown of a relationship, the changes in the family finances, housing, the arrangements, and it can all get very bitter and disheartening. But I think sensible adults need to focus less on themselves and more on what's best for the children.
I suppose none of these parents are doing that, as otherwise they wouldn't need mediation, but I suppose it angers me that the role of the negotiatior is so neutral, I felt sorry for these people, being caught up in all this drama without being able to say, wait a minute, that goes against what you just said 5 mins ago. Wait a minute, you're so concerned that that your ex cannot bring his daughter into his new home, why did you book holidays and not care who's looking after your child while you're away? Wait a minute, you've left 6 years ago, didn't speak to your child or supported them, now you're requesting acess to your child and yet all you can talk about is the jewelry and the house? Wait a minute, can you stop making mediation being about me, me, me and instead focus on the best needs for the child, and then sort out everything else around their lives? How 'bout that?
Apologies, it seems I have very strong feelings on this matter, I think it's fair to say, people are lucky I am not a mediator.
I guess I just wish all parents would (wo)man up and be more mature.