How can you all be so judgemental?
You have your own forum on here where you all support each other but as soon as you see someone on tv with issues your the meanest people ever.
Did it ever occur to you that it could be one of you of tv who kept it a secret from you all for fear of what you'd say.
What I don't understand is why you are not looking at the bigger picture on tv. The major problems they've had before they've gotten to mediation - which you seemed to have missed.
Have you done mediation? Do you know how horrible it is to it there in a room with a complete stranger whose there to help you get to an agreement because you can't do it at home.
To sit there and know that you loved that person so much that you promised to be with them til death do you part , but are now arguing over who gets what money and when to see the kids.
from all you horrible remarks about these people on tv I'm guessing not.
And has it not occurred to you that the programme is so clearly edited to make the women look greedy and the man loosing everything. No. Cos you haven't seen the bigger picture.
Couple1
Couples in separate rooms. Clearly she's had her confidence knocked out of her from her controlling ex partner so much that she didn't want to feel so useless and small next to him ever again.
Couple 2.
The women who left kids and hubby for ex boyfriend. Did you ever consider that she got fed up with being just a mum and wife and felt it was time to live her life as she felt unloved in the family home.
Couple 3.
Loathsome Yvonne and homeless Alan. The only couple who haven't argued over the kids, just 200k. The only couple who had their priorities right - the kids.
Yvonne - a stay at home mum because she was pushed out of her job when she told them she was pregnant - paid off with a small amount of money.
No career because no company wanted to take on a soon to be mum.
Alan has a £50k p/a job in big European firm.
Yvonne - any job taken after kids were born wouldn't have covered childcare cost as she wanted just a part time job.
Alan - wanted to be the man of house so instead of saying he'll pay child care cost said Yvonne could bring kids up, even though he knew she wanted a part time job to be herself and not just a wife or mum.
Alan gave Yvonne a minimum amount of money p/m for full shopping food bills, petrol ,kids clothes and activities leaving her with hardly any money to feel comfortable to go out with friends and family.
Feeling used and abused at home and not equal in anything in the house Yvonne attempts at solving problem were pushed away by Alan.
7 years later, 2 kids and Yvonne finally given up trying after countless attempts of getting Alan to understand her as he's more interested in saving money, holidaying at his mum's, pushing problems under the carpet and not listening to any marriage problems - Yvonne gives up.
Separate bedrooms, arguing and 3 physical fights later Yvonne decides its enough and that the marriage is over because it's getting worse as she was brought up in a loveless family and didn't want her kids growing up in the same environment - not knowing what a loving happy family relationship is really like.
They put the house on the market and get a buyer quickly.
Knowing that her part time job will never be enough to live anywhere unless on benefits (which she didnt want) and to allow the kids to continue their clubs she decides she needs to move to somerset to buy a house outright with the money she knows Alan can afford. A house is found whilst visiting god parents several time. Schools are looked at and places confirmed.
Now they argue about selling the house and money and can't agree on it. Alan refuses mediation but finally changes his mind.
After months of arguing about money they sit in the room - Yvonne fed up having to explain again why she needs to money- putting the kids first all the time.
Alan standing his ground trying to be the big man again , trying to be the smartest of them both - fighting everything, saying if he does pay extra that Yvonne needs to give that extra money to kids once they turn 18 which meant selling their home they'd be living in - all of which isn't shown on the tv.
After 3 sessions of mediation an agreement was finally made where Alan would pay the money, that money is protected against any future relationship either of them have so that kids would not loose out later on in their life.
Their house buyer falls through so they spend more months living together unhappily. A second buyer appears.
Alan dad gets ill and dies. The family dog is put to sleep at 11yrs old after getting ill. Knowing the kids would struggle with all the changes Yvonne has kids see a counsellor so they could talk about their feelings freely, which they liked and needed.
Yvonne changes her mind at moving because the kids aren't happy moving away that far - leaving their dad, leaving their friends, and having lost 2 loves of their lives.
Yvonne rents locally not knowing what to do when the money runs out, with a part time job in a house where the owners don't like tennents on benefits and not wanting to move in a council house.
Alan moves his stuff to his mum's house 75 miles away on the coast 1 way from kids and His work is 30miles the other away from kids - instead of renting a house close to kids he got work to pay for a hotel room during the week and spent the weekend at his parents, every other weekend taking the kids there.
Yvonne stays for kids - he moves away to save money. (Who's got the kids feeling in mind and not money? ))
Yvonne knew tim from work. His relationship having just finished, they start seeing each other. He lives with his mum and his kids come and stay with them every weekend.
They get on really well and their feelings grow quickly. They agree to put money together to buy a house - protecting their own money should things not work out further down the years.
All kids are happy with the situation.
Yvonne told alan about new relationship.
Alan picks up kids from house every other weekend and see kids on a Thursday - happy that kids are happy and in a house where there isn't arguing and fighting.
Alan finally buys a house at the start of the road where Yvonne lives.
If, as you think, Yvonne came away with more money and alan had nothing you're completely wrong. He's got more the Yvonne in his savings, 20yrs of pension, a company car , private health insurance, his name on his parents mortgage free house and any time he wants with the kids as he wants when he's not at work - which is 630 am to 630 pm mon to Fri.
Yvonne has a house , a small pension and nothing else. But the kids are happy and she's in a proper relationship.
Kids happy, Alan happy, Yvonne happy.
No one was used. No one was left skint. Nothing was easy. No one was disinterested - just fed up and pissed off of having to go through all the shit stuff again and again.
Yvonne and alans story is true.
So next time you watch Mr and Mrs please look at the bigger picture. Don't be mean. Listen to the stories not the edited version.
Not everyone is a mean bitch, not everyone has a hidden story that you are making up.
Put yourself in their situation - how would you feel knowing you were pulling apart the family home. Splitting the family up. What would you take from it all if you were walking away with the kids , knowing that your partner can afford it.
Mediation works if you leave your feeling at the door, know what it is your both trying to resolve.
The mediator come to a financially viable agreement where both couples can live comfortably not just 1.
Please open your minds next time you watch.