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Original poster

Telling someone their partner has cheated

131 replies

User999966666 · 21/06/2016 07:39

I need to tell someone their partner has cheated. The only way I can do this is via Facebook. I have screenshots of messages and sexting. I just don't know how to construct a message, I want this person to see who this man truly is. Any help on how to write this? Tia

OP posts:
Original poster
User999966666 · 21/06/2016 15:56

Oh and yeah she knew about the bed pic, after he done it she wrote on his page I * love you xxxx 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
User999966666 · 21/06/2016 15:58

I know forest I don't know why I'm stalling tbh . I'm still tryin to make sense of everything I guess. I just hope one day I meet an amazing guy, one who treats me with respect. Not too much to ask is it 😞

OP posts:
EverFallenInLoveWithSomeone · 21/06/2016 16:30

It shouldn't be too much to ask, but there don't seem to be many of them about Sad

ForestFruits12 · 21/06/2016 16:36

I know OP - it must be tough. is it only recently that it came out about his partner?

I'm 32, and only just realising that I need to be happy on my own and be comfortable with myself before even thinking about getting with another man. I've been in long term relationships all my life and it has got me no where!

DownstairsMixUp · 21/06/2016 16:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
User999966666 · 21/06/2016 17:01

A few days forests. And I'm sure you will find someone. im similar age to you, it's hard age bracket to be dating. I've terrible luck with men. downstairs, yes possibly . He seems to know a lot about FB settings more than I do. He's not short of fanciers, he's never been alone relationship wise and he's the type of man women want. Not particularly amazing looking but has that way about him that sets hearts on fire unfortunately ☹

OP posts:
Kungfupandaworksout16 · 21/06/2016 17:40

user how you relay it too her will show whether you are a scorned woman or another woman letting her know the truth. Tell her the facts, let her know it was also unprotected. If she asks for proof, present them. What you need to remember she might have a go at you she's going to be angry so don't bite back as hard as that maybe.
Cheating on your partner is one thing, but to do it unprotected is another level of dirty bastard. He's putting that lady at risk of STIs , if he was that easy to do it unprotected with you how many others? Because you can guarentee you weren't the first and you won't be the last. I'm sorry he treated you both like this, and always remember to put you and your health first. also be prepared for him to call you a liar and that you are crazy Flowers

ZerenaZZ · 21/06/2016 18:09

You sound like you only want to get revenge for his rejection of you. That's not a good reason to cause another woman distress. Personally, I'd stay out of it, other peoples relationships are their own business but if you do send this message, don't expect it to have the effect you want.

letsstaytogether · 21/06/2016 18:28

I'd want to know if my partner was having unprotected sex elsewhere. You & she might not be the only ones that he's shagging OP.

penguinplease · 21/06/2016 18:43

But zerennazz its not someone else's business, it's the man she assumed wasn't fucking anyone else suddenly producing a girlfriend. How can you say the op would be messing with lives?
You might be the type of fool who thinks men should be allowed to get away with this but that's wrong. His girlfriend deserves to know.
Cannot believe the people who don't want you to tell op. Just do it , if he'd posted a pic of you and him and she saw it I presume you'd rather know than be kept in the dark.
The way you deliver it is key, do it and move on.

EverFallenInLoveWithSomeone · 21/06/2016 18:43

Zerena wouldn't you care if your partner were having unprotected sex with other women? Wouldn't you want to know?

Is ignorance really bliss for some people?

Kungfupandaworksout16 · 21/06/2016 18:50

I get why a lot are saying dont because normally the guy worms his way out of it and the OW is made to look like a fantasist and a stalker. But this is different. He slept with her without protection. He wants to be a dog that's fine , but his girlfriend thinks he's being loyal. If he's that easy to sleep with anyone unprotected God knows what he could bring back to her.

SandyY2K · 21/06/2016 18:55

So many nasty comments here from people for no good reason.

I've sent you a PM.

The guy is a sleeze but seems too many women just want to bury their heads in the sand and ignore the fact they're being cheated on.

EyefulTower · 21/06/2016 19:12

Please just get on with it. I have been cheated on and it was awful, but not knowing is much, much worse. I should know and be able to make an informed decision about what my relationship is based on (not to mention, I got a sexual health check).

Tell her what you've said here, sorry to have to tell you but I had a brief sexual relationship with x recently as eh said he was single. I see from FB that actually he is with you and was cheating and you deserve to know. Here is the proof as no doubt he will deny it...

Job done.

letsstaytogether · 21/06/2016 19:14

She might well have an inkling.

She might well want to be put out of her misery.

She might well not want to carry on sleeping with someone who is a selfish prick.

Do what you feel is right OP, but do it gently.

Nivea101 · 21/06/2016 20:58

Yes do it gently but do it. You are probably not the first nor will you be the last. If she decides to stay with him then that's up to her.

TutanKaDashian · 21/06/2016 21:03

You don't sound like a very nice person OP.

EverFallenInLoveWithSomeone · 21/06/2016 21:14

How do you work that one out, Tutan?!!

Ifindoubtmumble · 21/06/2016 21:30

I found out this weekend that
my partner of four years was cheating. I found a condom that he couldn't explain away and now realise that I'd ignored a whole host of red flags because I chose to trust him. I feel devastated. I've dumped him, obviously. I would have wanted to be told.

shovetheholly · 22/06/2016 07:20

I'm so sorry ifindoubt. That's an awful thing to have happened. Flowers

penguinplease · 22/06/2016 08:31

For telling the truth Tutan? Really? I despair of some women sometimes when I read threads like this. Not telling is a much worse crime. You lot that think she shouldn't tell clearly are happy to bury your heads in the sand with regard to your own relationships but short term hurt is less severe than long term being treated like a fool.

Original poster
User999966666 · 22/06/2016 09:08

Tutan how am I not a nice person?

OP posts:
ForestFruits12 · 22/06/2016 10:41

OP just ignore comments like that. You can't please everyone.

Have you sent a message yet? How are you feeling today?

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 22/06/2016 11:39

Yeah you're such a horrible person OP, being cheated on and then wanting to tell the other person also being cheated on so that if he has STD's she can have them treated and make an informed decision on whether to spend her life with him. You nasty, nasty person. HmmConfused

I hope you're ok today and also wanted to add my support again because you have done NOTHING wrong and you ARE doing the right thing telling her. WineCakeFlowers

iwuddarryl · 22/06/2016 11:43

Tell her in a pm.

A wife deserves to know if her husband has been cheating.
Exposing doesn't wreck a marriage.
Lies and deceit do.

This woman deserves to know who she's really married to.
Once she has that information, she then has some sort of control over whether to stay in the marriage or leave it.
But at least she will have 'choice'.

This business of 'ignorance is bliss' is what enables people to have affairs.