Telling someone their partner has cheated

[User999966666]

I need to tell someone their partner has cheated. The only way I can do this is via Facebook. I have screenshots of messages and sexting. I just don't know how to construct a message, I want this person to see who this man truly is. Any help on how to write this? Tia

the joy of fb, is this revenge or real ltb stuff ? i would want to know in the 'nicest' [?] way, but not the juicy details unless i didn't believe the ow. i'd hang fire on the sexts etc unless she wanted proof.

I've tried to ask him what is going on, but my messages haven't delivered. He put up naked pictures of them in bed and we had been talking really recently so I was very shocked. Oh and in case you were wondering , I don't want him for myself. I can do far better than someone like that.

I don't know why anyone is being bitchy to the OP.

OP - I would want to know. Please be sensitive though. I would message exactly as TheStoic said. No screenshots needed to start with. And then take it from there

SO have you booked your appointment at the STI clinic, OP? Will you tell the person you are mailing that they also need to get themselves tested because you didn't use protection?

THAT, to my mind, is actually very important.

I wouldn't tell the othtruth person - why would she believe some stranger off the internet sending her screen shots which could be made up. You just sound bitter and twisted and are doing it for the wrong reasons.

I'd want to know. I think something as above would be good eg 'I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you but I was seeing X for X months/years. He told me he was single and I believed him, when I found out about you I ended it immediately but I thought you should know as he was having unprotected sex with me and I can't trust he wasn't doing the same with others so I'm going for an STI test and you should do the same. I know it must be hard to trust/believe as stranger so I do have evidence of you want me to send it to you'

Screen shots of messages with his address on when he asked me round? Or sexting on FB with his full name on? How could I make those up 😂

And well err ( don't know how to highlight ) I hope you met someone lovely after that ordeal 🙂

Op I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must have been such a shock for you to discover that you had been lied to and treated so badly.

If I was his partner I would want to know what a horrible, cheating slimebag my boyfriend was.

The fact that there are no children involve does make it easier for you to tell her. And I do think she has the right to know. He has probably cheated with other women and as others have said both she and you need to get checked out at an STI clinic.

If you are not friends with her on Facebook your message will go into a different part of messages. Other than writing "please check your messages" on her actual Facebook page I don't know if she would actually see your message.

I do think she has a right to know so she can make informed choices to where she wants her life to go and hopefully leave this man who will ultimately keep cheating on her, lying to her and probably be messing with her head too.

Shove the holly I don't think she would want coffee with me somehow. I didn't know as there was nothing relation-shipy on there plus he's been off FB a couple of months or so

I recently found out my DP cheated on me. The other woman told me. She knew about me. I only found out months after the affair ended. I would preferred knowing earlier.

My advice:
i. Tell her, but be sensitive and apologetic
ii. Only send proof when asked
iii. Leave her alone after that.

As much as I know she wasn't solely to blame (although she knew, so she was more to blame than you), she kept badgering me in spite of several requests to leave me alone. I got a protection order against her.

Only tell her for her sake. Don't tell her because you feel you need revenge on him.

I most definitely would want to know, and I don't think it matters what the motive is for telling.

OP - I do think you need to be sensitive though, and not go in with all the gory details.

I don't know why some people are being horrible to the OP!! She didn't know!!

Hey the girl, thanks for your message. I think she should get it as we have him as mutual friend ? I thought it would deliver ?. Does anyone think he's being naive by keeping me on there as a friend ?

Oh yes, TheGirlWho is right about facebook. She sent me a facebook message in January, and it didn't go to my direct inbox. It went to a different spam inbox which I only checked months later. So fb messenger might not be a great idea. But don't make it public. It will humiliate the woman. Her private pain will be more than enough.

You thought he was good enough when you slept with him and it was your choice not to use protection. You sound very vindictive tbh.

Marquand I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you find someone lovely in the future

Cut all ties with him, in real life and cyberspace.

The "other" folder doesn't matter anymore. You get a phone notification unless it's flagged as spam, and this is unlikely to be. You've got a friend in common so it's quite likely it'll go to her main inbox anyway, but most people will have the Facebook app and therefore be notified.

Goingto, that's unfair.

We're still together. I found out just before either the 24 or 28 week scan for our third child. It's been rough, but we are working through it.

Why? You're slagging him off as rubbish, making a thing about no protection and your posts come across as not very nice. I'm sorry if you are upset. There's no need to be laughing about screen shots and address information.

No just no, they aren't married, have no dc please leave them alone it sounds like they are at the beginning of getting serious and you are a jealous one night stand/fuck buddy. No good can come of this butt out.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with the posters who are saying that his partner shouldn't be told.

Not only is she being cheated on, her health is being put at risk by this man. Not to mention her mental health as she may suspect that he is cheating but you can bet that he is lying through his teeth, minimizing and denying everything.

If it was happening to someone you knew and cared about, you would want them to know. This is no different.

I meant I can do better than a cheat, I think most people can?

OP ignore the posters determined to give you a kicking.

I'd want to know. I don't think you sound vindictive; just (quite reasonably) pissed off.