Hi this is my first post (and may be long)
I have been with my husband for 23 years and married 13. We have four DC ranging from 11 to 5.
When our last DC was born he confessed to having an affair and wanted to leave.
He left and I was devastated. I was 3 weeks post c section and my head was all over the place. I took an overdose and ended up in hospital. My parents live in Canada and my mum had to fly home. It took time but eventually I became stronger and made friends which I never have before and got a life.
He then decided to come home. I welcomed him with open arms. I was left with ptsd and have had a lot of counselling and meds for anxiety and depression.
Things have been good and bad and I've found it hard to trust and my self esteem is low. I feel that I'm not good enough.
We've had several blips and he has been caught texting a female twice (says there were rumours but nothing behind them).
The last straw was when the diamond fell out of my engagement ring. I jokingly said I thought this was a bad omen and was worried and he blew up said I was torturing him and he was leaving.
He stormed off and came back in the early hours he never goes out apart from to work .
We limped on till yesterday when he took time off work and was here when I came home and said he wanted a separation. stupidly I begged and pleaded with him to stay and he's refusing.
He also won't leave. He wants to stay here short term an sort out finances. He also does not want to tell our DC until he feels ready. Seeing him is killing me inside.
Please help (sorry for the saga)