Should I marry him even though he's a git?

[hollyj]

My dp of nearly four years (have dd 15 months) "proposed" to me at the w/e. I have wanted us to get married since dd was born, don't know why exactly, just like the idea of us all having the same surname and being properly recognised as a family, plus I could call him my husband instaed of that hideous word partner.
So it all sounds good but here's the problem. He didn't get down on one knee and tell me he loved me or anything. He basically said we should get married to make me happy. In a discussion later he said he didn't really want to get married but knew he wanted to be with me forever and if that was what I wanted then he would do it.
Well I wasn't exactly bowled over with the romance of it all. Now I feel like he has ruined it all and how can I marry him knowing he doesn't really want to and he's doing it as a FAVOUR. Jesus Christ I'm not some sort of charity case..
Should I just go ahead even though his heart's not in it? or try to forget the whole sorry affair and carry on as before? OR elope with a Jude-Law-lookalike who appreciates me

Message withdrawn

Expat, my use of 'git' was supposed to be the most jokey and inoffensive insult I could think of... It may not have been all that jokey and inoffensive on reflection

And yes, 77 messages later, it is enough that he will marry me to make me happy. Should thank my lucky stars I manged to bag such a goodun, shouldn't I

Vanessa Feltz was recently boasting about how her younger lover recently proposed in a Dublin hotel room where the bed was strewn with rose petals, and I just cringed! It sounded so naff, tbh. Not as naff, however, as her outsize t-shirt with 'FIANCEE' printed on it she wore to go out the other night. Horrors!

I think being low key is much cooler. And the thing is here, your desire to be married is important to him, and he probably feels less strongly anti-marriage than you are pro-marriage, and that's great. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth ...but you know that.

i can totally sympathise with the idea of getting married to feel like a proper family and to have the same name etc.

What do you mean naff, aloha, my t-shirts coming back from the printers tomorrow.

thanks rosebud, was beginning to think I was just mean and horrible

Poor bloke. He can't get anything right!

If he doesn't propose then you'll feel upset because you really want to get married.

If he does propose then you're upset because you feel he's doing it for the wrong reasons!

Most men don't give a crap about weddings, I think it's a girly thing. It's us who puts all our emotions into it, they hate it! My dh didn't enjoy our wedding day much, he hated being the centre of attention, he hated the suit, he hated the formality. But he did it all for me which I am grateful for!

He doesn't wear a ring either, but that's because he broke it whilst operating his digger.

Methinks you analyse too much.

He proposed. It doesn't matter how it happened or where it happened, it was obviously a hard thing for him to do.

As you said, you've made the commitment of having a child together. He obviously wants to stay with you and make it work. So accept his proposal and live forever after! If you want to that is!