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Original poster

To feel unreasonably angry that I have to sit though TV quiz shows.

77 replies

pearlylum · 20/05/2016 17:51

Just a rant. My mother sits though endless bloody quiz shows on TV. I don't watch much TV but these are driving me nuts. The Chase, Pointless ( the worst) Tipping Point.

OP posts:
Original poster
pearlylum · 21/05/2016 07:30

Unfortunately until you move out you have no choice in the matter

That's not an option. Where would I go if I moved out?

OP posts:
CuttedUpPear · 21/05/2016 07:41

Are you her carer OP?

Original poster
pearlylum · 21/05/2016 07:42

Yes I am cutted.

OP posts:
ravenmum · 21/05/2016 07:42

Sandy must have missed the bit where you said this is your house ...

You're just going to have to grasp the nettle and set times when the TV is off.

Boolovessulley · 21/05/2016 07:45

Tipping point is awful.
I can't abide Deal or no deal either. What is the point in asking contestants what they would have done? We all know what hindsight is.

Perhaps your dm is from a generation where a TV was the main focal point.nowadays people are on their own devices, mobile phones etc.
sorry I do not have a solution.

FrameyMcFrame · 21/05/2016 07:46

My elderly mother also LOVES quiz shows. They're good for keeping the mind active. My Mum (who is 83) gets a lot of satisfaction from getting the answers right... She gets worried about dementia.

Original poster
pearlylum · 21/05/2016 07:49

It seems very punitive to tell her no TV. She comes from a generation where a tv is constantly on, socially things have become challenging as she gets older. She is in her 80s, many of her friends have either died or struggle to get out themselves.
She is naturally a very gregarious person, needing a high level of social interaction. When I was a child I barely remember a time when she had no visitors in the house, constantly chatting and drinking tea. I think she misses that and uses TV as a substitute for social interaction.
I'm not a chatty person, so I gues The Chase is the lesser of two evils.

OP posts:
Dangerouswoman · 21/05/2016 07:51

I dont watch the tv I like until about 9pm when everyone is in bed and I catch up on what I have recorded in peace.

All teatime tv is crap. Can't you put up with it for a couple of hours and get something out of it by shouting out the answers yourself?

It must be hard living with (elderly?) parents. I bet the tv is on full blast too.

2rebecca · 21/05/2016 07:58

I thought you said she had a TV in her room? As its your house then you should have the main say. It sounds like this is the sort of thing you should have discussed before inviting her to live with you. A granny annex rather than room may have been better. Just say "in 5 minutes I want to watch x, you can watch the TV in your room if you want to watch something else"

ravenmum · 21/05/2016 08:03

We always had the TV on all day when I was growing up too. People complain about young people constantly occupied on their smartphones now, but in those days we just found other ways to veg out. Smile

Why punitive, if you get her to switch off when you want to sit in the living room, and she can thus socialise with a real live human being?

Original poster
pearlylum · 21/05/2016 08:03

2rebecca, she likes company, she prefers to watch downstairs.
I couldn't afford a granny annexe, funds wouldn't have stretched that far.

OP posts:
Original poster
pearlylum · 21/05/2016 08:08

and she can thus socialise with a real live human being?

I think that's maybe my problem. She would want to chat for hours. As it is she will follow me (and OH too) around the house trying to maintain conversation.

OH and I are not terrible chatty or sociable people normally, my mother is. I don't tend to enjoy much conversation either. She adores Donald Trump, wants to bring back the death penalty, is racist, deeply religious. Nice conversations tend to revolve around the weather, the garden etc, not much more.

I think I will just have to suck up the TV thing.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 21/05/2016 08:16

I live pointless. My teen ds and l totally bonded through the teenage years watching that. Good thing she is not my mum or three of us would be stuck in it and nothing get done. I think if your aged dm lives with you its never going to be easy. I couldn't do it. But l would be relieved it's not bloody Eastenders or such drivel.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 21/05/2016 08:18

I think that ultimately you need your own space back. It sounds like you and she for that matter are not really managing. This is going to just cause you to become more resentful of her, it could become the tip of the iceberg.

Does your mother receive access to places like a day care centre?. Or is she with you practically all the time.

Did you feel obligated to have her move in with you; what discussions took place prior to her arrival?.

LikeTheShoes · 21/05/2016 08:19

Could she watch with headphones (maybe wireless ones?) So you can't hear it?

Do you have a tablet? I watch lots of Netflix in the kitchen while OH watches something boring in the living room.

I watched tipping point the other day (one of my old teachers was on it) it was the dullest thing I have ever seen.

MargotLovedTom · 21/05/2016 08:19

It sounds like something from a cheesy sitcom, perhaps called "Mother!" which is what the daughter character would say after every dodgy statement from the mother character.

It sounds like a very trying situation. You are doing a kind thing caring for your elderly relative, but I don't know what to say about the TV thing as it does indeed sound like the lesser of two evils.

If your mother really won't vacatebthe living room, is there space in another room for a comfortable chair(s) and TV for you and your DH?

MargotLovedTom · 21/05/2016 08:20

And second Attilla the Meerkat

ravenmum · 21/05/2016 08:25

My nanna loved socialising so spent a lot of time at bingo, then later at a day centre. She'd be taken there and brought back with other elderly people. Any chance that would work?

Or maybe get a decent pair of wireless headphones for her?

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 21/05/2016 08:25

My stepdad is obsessed with pointless. Whenever we visit he starts playing all the episodes he's recorded. It wouldn't be so bad if get just put the fucking things on, but no, he has to fast forward through various bits so you get to watch a completely disjointed quiz show.

Drives me nuts. I have no idea his my mother puts up with this.

ravenmum · 21/05/2016 08:25

Oh, cross posted ☺

Original poster
pearlylum · 21/05/2016 08:26

Thanks for the suggestions.

I did watch Pirates of the Caribbean on my lap top the other day The Black Pearl on my laptop, I really enjoyed it, despite my mothers' constant calling of " Are you not watching this with me?".

I may get some headphones.
I have tried many avenues to get her out of the house, I have now found one pensioner's club which she seems to be enjoying, once a week, where she knows one or two people, and hopefully meet more friends. I have no problem giving lifts to take her on visits or bring friends to the house.
She is emotionally quite vulnerable, and she has a mild learning difficulty. Although she is very much an adult she often behaves like an 8 year old. On the (rare) occassion that we have had cross words I have found her sitting at the bottom of the garden with a carrier bag packed ready to leave home.

OP posts:
Lightbulbon · 21/05/2016 08:28

does she go to a day centre?

Her need for social interaction isn't being met within her current care arrangements.

Can her room be made more appealing to watch tv in? Or does she want the 'company' of being in the communal space?

It doesn't sound as if your temperaments are matched for living together.

Does she have any hobbies?

She sounds bored and lonely.

How capable is she? Can she not live independently at all, even with carers visiting?

ravenmum · 21/05/2016 08:33

My nanna met someone at her day centre and they got married (she was 80) and moved in together. ... you never know ...

I'd go mad as well in your position though.

Oysterbabe · 21/05/2016 08:34

I love Tipping Point. It's so crap it's funny. The questions are ridiculously easy yet loads of people still get them wrong. I saw this one the other day.
Ben: Who wrote Pride and Prejudice?
Contestant: Jilly Cooper
Ben: No I'm sorry that's wrong. But she is an author though so well done.
Grin

The only thing that would improve it is if they put loads of crap toys on top of the coins.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 21/05/2016 08:39

"I have tried many avenues to get her out of the house, I have now found one pensioner's club which she seems to be enjoying, once a week, where she knows one or two people, and hopefully meet more friends. I have no problem giving lifts to take her on visits or bring friends to the house".

This is good but can this be further expanded?. Have you talked to the Salvation Army?.

She and you cannot be together all the time, its not doing you or she any good at all. You in particular as her carer need time and space away from her.

re this comment:-
"She is emotionally quite vulnerable, and she has a mild learning difficulty. Although she is very much an adult she often behaves like an 8 year old. On the (rare) occassion that we have had cross words I have found her sitting at the bottom of the garden with a carrier bag packed ready to leave home".

Who else is aware that she is a vulnerable adult; has there been any outside assessment from the likes of Social Services, her GP or some other form of elderly care/risk assessment?.

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