DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

Hurricane have a great time xxx. Hadron welcome back :)
Well the day was as shit as I feared but it's over now and I am tucked up in bed with lovely new clean sheets and summer quilt which I bought last week and love the colours. Sleepytime tea and this thread :) I know how to party :)

Welcome back hadron - it's good to see you in the nicest possible way xxx

Oooh get me!
Beautiful day here, was up at 6 am to a sunny morning, already done 3 loads of washing (out, dried and back in airing cupboard!) and mowed around the veg patch. Cleaned out chickens as well and planted out some beans. Now for a long walk with the dog and a book :)

When I drank I would only just be starting to function again, now, after last night ..instead I got up and have had 5 extra hours of time to get stuff done. And now I have the rest of the day free :)

THIS is why I don't drink any more :) I need to remember this feeling :) I wish I could bottle it and pass it around xxx

Have a fab day everyone

That sounds like a great orning Glad - go you!

Brilliant glad. I have hens too. My ladies weren't exactly neglected before but now their run is positively palatial.

Ok - did my yoga. Feel better for it. Please remind me when I start refusing t do yoga on the grounds that I can't be arsed and feel too miserable.

Day 49 (7 weeks sober!)

Day 2 of daily yoga

I can't cope with this enormous raw onslaught of emotions. I just want to get smashed and AWAY from the guilt,the Shame, and the pain

Hugs Lily - It's difficult I know.

All I can say is one day at a time, you got this, and you can do it.

I've been reading about PAWS today, and about how it can come out of the blue.

Keep breathing.

You got this

for you lily. Is it PAWS do you think or has something happened?

Distract yourself with a walk or some other exercise or gardening or anything! You KNOW drinking won't help.

It sounds like you need some tlc for yourself, I hope it's eased a bit now. xx

Stay strong lily. Exhaust yourself in some way (I run) and you'll have a decent nights sleep. It's awful isn't it?

lily

What jojo said. One of my spurs to go AF was feeling ashamed that I couldn't regulate or control myself, then drank, then felt ashamed, and so on day after day.

Day 16, DH back.

But - I had one glass of rose at the theatre with my mum yesterday. Sipped not slurped, left some of it. I don't believe for one moment that this means I can moderate - I've done dry January and Lent before and gone back to previous drinking patterns within a couple of weeks.

Dry today. Opted not to go to a neighbours drinks party because it's too easy to say yes. Had an early dinner at a local restaurant - DH and I would normally share a bottle of wine. Water.

Keep On Keeping On I guess.

Love to all

Lily I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time . A couple of days ago all I wanted or told myself was that I wanted was to get completely obliterated. But it has passed. You will get through this and it will get better. You know that getting pissed would bring guilt and shame rather than getting you away from them. You are so strong Lily and you are doing so well.

Try and get some rest and some peace and quiet. A nice shower or a relaxing bath but most of all some sleep.
Xx

Sorry folks. I'm ok. Had a bad day with DS1 and having to accept that I can't make him behave reasonably or sensibly. That he is as he is, and however much I want him to be different it has to come from him.

DS1 was born after a short lived relationship, a fling really, with a man who was totally unsuitable. I was lonely and bored doing a training post in a remote area. I was sloppy with contraception. DS1's father never wanted anything to do with him, and has never seen him. As I see him growing up (he is now almost 18) I see many of his fathers 'undesirable' traits in his behaviour. Since I found out I was pregnant I have been ashamed of myself, sleeping with an idiot and being stupid enough to get pregnant, I have struggled with shame all these years and on days like today I feel that I deserve all the heartache that he is causing me.

I don't judge other women who have children as single mothers, I dont judge others who make 'mistakes' with contraception, but I have failed consistently to forgive myself.

Today I thought about the man. DP us very scathing about a man who would avoid his responsibilities as DS1's father has done; I have always felt that it was my fault I got pregnant so sort of 'let him off'. Today I thought - i would NEVER have avoided my responsibility to my child no matter how conceived and that he is actually a complete shit. Doesn't mean I forgive myself, but perhaps I do not bear 100% of the blame.

Lily 🌷 (Not smashed , still sober) xx

Oh lily I'm glad you are ok. Well done on staying strong. Your ds does sound very challenging and you should be proud that you absolutely did and do your best for him despite his behaviour. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. Unlike his father who damn well should have stepped up.

You are so hard on yourself - something I think a lot of us are. Perfectionists for ourselves but not for others.

Well done today, I hope you have some sober treats lined up!

Glad you're feeling better Lily, and don't beat yourself up too much and try and forgive yourself. You've done a great job with your DS and I know every teenager can drive parents to distraction.

I've had a busy weekend. At the party on Saturday Mojitos were on offer, but I didn't drink! In fact I said to the group that I've been drinking too much to often lately and everyone was fine and accepted it (I think that this might be because they all know I've got a problem but its not been talked about before - but that could be my paranoia).

Funny day yesterday, we were all outside gardening and then I came inside as got a text on my phone and sat down with my phone to look at the text and perhaps a little MN, to be "caught" by my DP who was plainly unhappy that I'd stopped gardening and was sitting on my arse phone. He's totally non-confrontational, but very PA so he had a sulking session that lasted until bedtime. Had I been drinking then this might well of been escalated, but I just let it ride. I do think we need talk though as he seems to think that when I take the children out so he can get on with things in the house I'm not doing anything, but he never takes them out without me so I never get time alone in the house to do the jobs I need to, so I don't get to help in the garden as much as I'd like too.

I read an article over the weekend about Daniel Radcliffe who gave up alcohol at 23, and it made me a little sad that it has taken me another 25 years to get to that point.

BUT 30 days AF and I'm beginning to think that I can do this. I've never made it the end of dry January before now so it does feel like something's different this time.

lily.

Morning everyone. xx

Sorry meant to say lily

Hi everyone

Day 3 of perpetual yoga
Day 50 of sobriety

Congrats girls on day 30.

Congrats lily on staying sober.

DS1 is also ASD, and can argue the hind leg off a donkey. I do wonder if my drinking was in part about a denoted 'off time' - I must work out ways in which I can have some time to myself without drinking. So far only baths seem to work, and I can't really justify spending an hour in the bath every day just so I get some time not being lectured about whatever his current obsession is...

afternoon slim

Hello everyone!

Hope everyone's having a good day, Lily you are an awesome mother, dealing with an unexpected pregnancy and then a baby on your own, who is now a difficult teenager takes balls of steel so stop beating yourself up about how it happened and start patting yourself on the back for being a superstar.

(what is the female equivalent of balls of steel? Ovaries of steel doesn't have the same ring to it, somehow)

Girls well done on your party, it's odd how we expect people to react when we say we're not drinking, but then they just shrug and carry on, isn't it? Because most people aren't that fussed by drinking, it's just us 'all or nothing' people who get into a pickle with it.
(BTW do you realise today is a new moon? That makes it a New Moon on Monday....been humming to myself all day )

Oh and who was it who recommended the salted caramel green tea bags? Just found some in Tesco and they are divine!! Definitely my new treat!

KOKO sober warriors!

You've got me at it now Cooee .

My bedroom walls were covered with Duran posters as a teen and I still have a huge soft spot for John Taylor (one day he'll find me!)

Hi Lily - oh I can really really emphasise with you. Sometimes it is all too much. I'm really glad you feel a bit better today.

I am day 28 - four weeks to the day. I'm thinking a lot about my last drinking session and feeling sad and ashamed but I am incredibly pleased I've got so far. Not really thinking about booze very much - the evenings seem both longer, more time to do interesting things - and not so long, not looking at the clock every five minutes wishing it was bedtime so I could go to sleep and stop wanting a drink.

Day 30 is a proper milestone for me. I've arranged a treat with a friend and a trip to a garden centre to buy some plants for my garden.

New Moon Monday, I like that.

Been invited to a work-related dinner on Thursday. It's a networking/roundtable but I know there will be lots of booze on offer. Professionally I should go, but I'm fretting about quelling the wine witch.

Part of it is that I've never disgraced myself at one of these things - but I'm rarely completely sober either.

Thanks all for the reminder that others pay far less attention to what we're drinking than we think.

finnish love that you are doing yoga. I have always been rubbish at the physical side but love the mental side of it.

Girls I read the Daniel Ratcliffe interview too and admired how honest he was about his reasons for abstaining. Takes wisdom to do that at 23.

lily and everyone.

girls and lizzy could you direct me to the Daniel Radcliffe interview? I tried googling it, but could not find.

Morning everyone. I hope everyone has a great day.