straw poll - are you divorced/separated from yr dcs father and are you single?

[stareatthetvscreen]

just reading the happy after divorce thread and it struck me how many people there had separated/divorced and were now in relationships.

in my circle of friends (late 40s) there are 6 of us who have split from our dcs fathers but we are all still single.in some cases for over 10 years.

are we unusual in that? be interesting to find out.

thanks.

Married 11 years ex h left for ow 15 years ago. Had 3 relation ships in that time ( 18 months to 5 years) Now 50, not looking

Was with husband for 15 yrs, married for 14, 2 kids.
I'm 41 now.

Separated 9 months ago (he had OW), I've no desire to be in a relationship at all at the moment - I can't see that I would ever be arsed with anything more than casual relationships tbh.
Quite happily just getting on with only having to care about myself (and the kids, obvs).

I'm 40. Separated from xh when I was 35 and started dating when I was 36. Getting married to DP this summer

Met DH when I was 22, married him 5 years later, been married for almost 21 years, got 2 ds aged 18 & 14.
I've had a lot of ill health; cancer, disability etc. He's stood by me & I couldn't have got through it all without him.

Split up with DS's dad about 10 yrs ago, he then died a couple of years later.

I've had one 4yr LTR since then. Currently dating casually but I'm happier being single.

Split with XH 18 months ago,42, 2 DC, single & no desire to be in a relationship.

Can't be arsed with fitting someone else in.

I left my husband about 20-odd years ago and have been essentially single since. A couple of erm unwise relationships since but nothing of note. I literally haven't met anyone eligible - either married or too young. Lots of young men who fall in love /lust but I wouldn't be able to give them kids though that 70you Indian woman who's just had a baby has turned my head because I never thought I'd finished having children but my body has

That said, got a date this afto. Not looking brilliantly promising tbf but he's rich

It's great to hear so many stories similar to mine.

The thing is when my friends badger encourage me to find a new man I end up having to give a defensive speech on how wonderful it is to be single and I end up sounding like a bad "girl power" tune.

But it's not like that. I'm not averse to having a new relationship but just like a PP pointed out it would have to be someone really special who was worth giving up my autonomy for and that hasn't happened to me yet.

I'm certainly not fighting the hordes from my door and choosing to be single. Nobody has asked me. Sure I could put a lot of effort into my looks and putting myself out there but it seems like a lot of hassle and angst to go through when I'm not unhappy the way I am.

Split with exP nearly 3 years ago aged 30 due to EA. Been single since, my DC are under 5 so I literally have no idea when I would fit in meeting someone. They go to their dad's EOW for 1 night but I spend a lot of that time sitting in complete silence, recuperating
I don't miss having a partner, I am completely self sufficient and I think it would have to be a pretty special person for me to let go of this glorious independence I have.

wow so many replies and all the different situations/viewpoints are so interesting

:)

thank you so much for sharing

Divorced for six years,

Single
Never been on a date.
Confidence gets destroyed.

Married at 25. Two DC. Separated at 33. One scary dating experience that made me swear off nutters men. No more dates. Not even a sniff of a chance. Divorced at 35. Met DP 6 weeks later. Still going strong 3 years later, living together and the DC love him.

Married XH at 25 but was with him from 22

Was very happy single before meeting DP. I really believe that was the key

H left this year, just after our 15th wedding anniversary. Together another 2 1/2 years on top of that. He had a couple of OW and "fell in love" with one of them. She is 24. I 37 and the sole carer, for all but 4 days a month, of four children 9 and under. I am very frightened that I will be alone forever, as a woman almost 40 with 4 dependents is no catch (but a married man with 4 appears to be). As I am a Christian, and wouldn't be sleeping with anyone I wasn'the married to and would want to marry another Christian, I feel that the prospective pool is very small and am disheartened.

Single is the best! Especially as a LP...

You are your own independent person, no need to take care of adult man-child....
-fun till they get boring with their inability to get their shit together--

Face it, life is hard enough trying to keep it all together with our own special LP family...

I'm also a Christian heartbroken and I've changed my mind about a lot of things.

Suffice to say my horrifically abusive and controlling husband was a Christian. I'm not saying all Christian men are the same of course.

Met husband when i was 17
Got married aged 19
Had 3 children, when aged 19, 22, 25
Still together, nearly 30 years later

separated at 41
Divorced few years ago
Living with new partner and planning wedding

Aged 42 now, separated 6 years ago, child under two when we split.
Still single now (dabbled briefly after 2 years single but nothing significant ).
Between parenting, work and running the household, I don't really have time (or energy) to date.!

Separated at 33, now divorced nearly 3 years later. 1 relationship a year after separation, lasted a year. Would like a relationship but Im happy as I am right now.

Married 1982
DC 1 1985
DC 2 1989
Separated 2013 (he had an affair)
divorced 2015

I am 56 (53 when we separated) I am single, and have no intention of being anything else int he near future - I currently feel I could never trust any man again, and will not allow myself to be hurt or betrayed again. But things could change if I met someone nice - I haven't been looking for a relationship. Occasionally feel as if I would like some companionship - but generally I'm pretty happy on my own.

thanks for posting :)

not too many like me and my mates then - we all would like to meet someone but for various reasons its not happening.wonder if its our age?

Separated/ divorced for six and a half years after two DC and seventeen years together.

First time since a young teen I found myself single and I've never looked back - am fifty now . I didn't start out thinking never again but as time wore on by myself I realised life is easier, more peaceful and doing as I please isn't something I could now give up.

Exactly as another OP said I'm not anti men , not looking and nor has anyone approached me so am single ! From time to time I think a man would be nice and I'm sure one would for sex , days out and that sort of thing but anything more than that no way