I'm a bit at a loss tbh. Back ground is that my parents while lovely, are quite overbearing. They both do a fine line in treating me like a child, and are very very good at making me feel guilty for the slightest thing. This has always been the way, and as such I now find it very hard to make a decision about anything in case it is the 'wrong' one and certainly struggle to assert an opinion. Disagreeing about things results in sulks, being told I'm selfish or rude etc.
My husband has little time for this, and while he is friendly and welcoming to them he has a strong sense of boundaries with them. So at times, he rails against them and their requests or whatever because he is so used to their behaviour. This means that sometimes maybe they are in the right, but he is so ready for them to be out of order that his back goes up, if that makes sense? My sister is just like them so it is a family trait.
I just don't know who is unreasonable really. Latest example was my mum hurt her foot on Sat apparently and dad took her to the drop in to be looked at, it was x rayed and all was fine, they were out in an hour. I didn't know this. Dh and the kids bumped into my dad that afternoon in a supermarket and told him. Dh didn't tell me, he was distracted by kids, saw lots of people he knew etc etc. Fast forward to today and my mum was a bit sulky when I saw her, turns out because I didn't ask after her foot. Told her I didn't know. They both then get cross (Very PA cross) that dh didn't tell me, mum gets wobbly lipped becAuse "I just thought he might be concerned about me"...to which dad scoffed in a quite derogatory way (towards my husband, in a 'as if' kind of way).
I just said that he probably thought I knew as we tend to talk regularly and that he was busy with the kids etx and didn't think about it.
So now, they are still quite PA sulky about it. On the one hand I think 'FFS We are all grown ups now, and we don't have to be the Waltons and live in each other's pockets, don't read so much into this' on the other I think maybe DH should have told me, should try and show more affection/attention towards them.
Now I will end up tiptoeing round them being extra jolly until they get over this slight, which seems to demonstrate to them that he is uncaring yadda yadda. He is such a lovely man, lovely to me, involved with the kids as much as I am, treats us well etc etc...it just doesn't seem to be good enough because he doesn't cowtow to them.
This is such a ramble and as always, there is way more to this than just this last incident, but it brought it to the forefront of my mind.