My dad won't come to my wedding

[Luna2016]

Sorry about spelling and grammar I'm just really upset right now.

For some reason my dad won't come to my wedding, him and my mum are still together after 4 years and 7 kids together. I'm the first person to get married out of my siblings. I gave my parents the invite, once i got him my mum phoned me to tell me that she will be coming but my dad won't, when i asked why she said 'It's not his thing'. He's always been like this when my daughter was born he didn't come to see her i have to take her to him or she wouldn't see her granddad.

I even asked him to give me away and he plainly said that he wasn't coming. Even my partners step dad offered to walk me down the isle. I declined because it not his job to do so. If its not my father then its no one.

I've tried talking to him so has my partner and he still won't come. This has really hurt me as he's always been like this, even at school people thought i was lying about having a farther as no one ever saw him not on sports days, prom or even my graduation day. I though this would be different.

Am I being unreasonable with him?

Oh OP. I hope you had a good day regardless. And now I think he has no cause to complain if you decide you don't want to hear from him.

Hope the rest of the day was good, and that you have better things to look forward to without him.

Sorry to hear that. I think you need to stop hoping for anything back from him now. It's beyond horrible not to have any affirmation from a parent, but it's no reflection of you.

I'm sorry to hear that OP

How was your day OP? Hope you made it as happy as you could.

You do not have to speak to your dad and you do not have to seek his approval any more. Not that he would have ever given this to you anyway. He seems like a very selfish and self absorbed man.

I would concentrate your efforts now on the people who do really care about you; your dad does not seem to have been around for you at all.

How are things between your mother and you now?. Presumably she attended. She has also played a role here and not all that surprisingly either she has sided with her H.

I'm sorry OP. I hope the day went well regardless of his shitty behaviour

Congratulations on your marriage OP.

How sad that your dad didn't come. I wouldn't blame you for wanting nothing more to do with him. Can you still see your mum at your home or out somewhere?

Dont let it come between you and you other family members though.

I'm so sorry that he behaved the way that he did, Luna.
You did all that you could, inviting him nicely, comprising by saying he could walk you up the aisle then go home if he wanted to.
You are not responsible for, or the cause of, his bad behaviour. Yes he has hurt you, but this reflects badly on him, not you.
I hope that your day was beautiful and happy, without miseryguts spoiling it for you

The day went great, instead of having my farther walk he down the isle I desided to carry my daughter instead. She did throw up on her daddy when we got to the alter . But I wouldn't have changed any of the day for anything, I got the man of my dreams and my beautiful baby girl.

I think you had the best possible day, even with the sick! Remember it is not a reflection on you, the fact he is your father is just an accident of genetics. Don't feel you owe him anymore than anyone else who would treat you like that.

Congratulations Luna

Congratulations OP, it sounds like a wonderful and meaningful alternative. I am sorry that biological sperm donor(he doesn't deserve to be called Father) treated you this way.

I would seriously consider looking into narcissism, this post might be enlightening..

www.bandbacktogether.com/adult-children-of-Narcissistic-parents-resources/

I think that what you did was far more meaningful. You came together as a family, you and your DH gave each other rings and your DD gave him a gift of her very own! :o

I am glad that you had a wonderful day :)