I see there are lots of posts on here about porn. I just want to point out that I am not a prude. I used to watch porn with my ex sometimes, mainly his idea so I had the attitude 'if you can't beat them join them' and we researched and found stuff that would appeal more to women, which I watched occasionally with him and enjoyed. My current dp is different. He hides his stuff and I keep finding more and more of it stashed all over our house. I don't really like that because we have children, but what is worse is that he never initiates sex with me. I feel like he is waiting for me to go out of the house so he can have a w*k. I have actually caught him at it a couple of times. I came back from work unexpectdedly and he was in bed with a 'headache' no clothes on, tv programme on and dvd player running at same time. I honestly wouldn't care if I felt like he wanted to f*k me (God these asterisks are annoying) but he doesn't even look at me when I undress. I am a size 12 and used to feel quite attractive before my self esteem was knocked so much. He has gone away and I have found another box with a vibrator in and more dvds and mags. He also looks at porn on our pc. The thing is I have tried to talk to him about it and he makes it out to be my problem, all his past girlfriends were fine about it etc etc. I am an open minded person and want to understand. I have tried to spice things up myself,thinking it was something I was doing wrong, begging him to tell me what he likes etc. It seems to me that sex has to be like a dirty little secret for him to enjoy it.