Relationship 'green lights' anyone?

[wol1968]

I was just wondering, for those of you in happy relationships - and especially those who've been through dysfunctional or abusive relationships and are now happily settled - we talk a lot about 'red flags' on this board. But what about the opposite? Were there any moments when you realised that, yes, this was different to all the rest, and he really was a good 'un instead of a manipulating charmer? And what incident made you know you were all right to go ahead?

He's consistently kind, not just when there's something in it for him or someone's watching him. He has a really good group of friends he's grown up with and they all think the world of him. He really likes all of my friends; he welcomes them into our home and encourages me to go out with them. He loves my family. We won't be having kids of our own, but our nephews and nieces adore him. He respects my opinion and never tries to belittle me. He makes me belly laugh every day and thinks I'm funny. When we argue, he never raises his voice and he never resorts to insults. For the first time, I don't feel anxious. I don't have to think about what I'm saying or how it will be interpreted. Being with him makes me feel like we're part of a team. He has seen me at my absolute worst, both physically and emotionally, and still thinks I'm the only one for him.

Don't get me wrong, he drives me mad at times. He's not perfect and certainly has his faults. But so do I. And as much as I could quite cheerfully murder him some days, he's my best friend and I still fancy him rotten.

This thread is lovely, I'm a bit jaded relationship-wise but am so glad there are good 'uns out there!

Oh BertieBotts I love that. Yes, totally. I had an ex who could be very physically intimidating and it's (weirdly) really nice to argue with DP because I'm never afraid of him.

Having been in some utterly shite relationships and 'settling' for behaviour that either upset me or didn't enhance my life in any way, I would say the main reason for me is the certainty that everything will be ok.
I'm still many years later jaded by these relationships, but DH accepts this and just plods along putting up with me
I know, no matter how much we may bicker or disagree, he won't be going anywhere. (Don't get me wrong, my experiences have left me knowing if be fine if he did!)
He wants to take care of us, but without being stifling.
He is genuinely still massively in love with me 😷 despite seeing me at my very worst, mentally and physically.
He is wonderfully committed at work, this is one of the things that first attracted me to him.
He is an amazing father, and father figure to several of my friends children.
He loves my mum and can often be found there being fed on his way home from work.
He is very clean, you could eat your dinner of any part of his body at any time of day.

He is by no means perfect. But he'll do me.