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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sensual Sex

95 replies

purrpussycatpurr · 08/01/2007 18:23

After a lifetime without this a man has come into my life who is sensual. Do you have a sensual partner?

Are they are a rare breed? I am rather taken

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 08/01/2007 23:21

15 hours? God. I would be stressing about any number of mundane non-sensual issues after the first 1 and a half for sure...

Caligula · 08/01/2007 23:21

Re having a connection with someone - no I don't think so.

The lover I had at 18 who was immensely sensual and fabulous, was a complete moron out of bed. But spectacular in it.

wurlywurly · 09/01/2007 09:32

15 hours??? wonder if their of them get cramp???

wurlywurly · 09/01/2007 09:33

15 hour??? wonder if either of them get cramp???

last one didnt make sense

Bucketsofdynomite · 09/01/2007 10:12

I can't be arsed with tantra but I do get visions during sex occasionally. Usually a colour and a texture but eg white satin, black velvet, green jungle and sometimes even different places and eras if I've seen something about them on tv.

I'd like to think men who punish women on the grounds of their size might be using it as an excuse for not dealing with something themselves. Seems shocking that someone could be so unkind and shallow to someone they're supposed to love and protect.

purrpussycatpurr · 09/01/2007 19:16

have decided he smolders in a sensual way

am the other way round from Caligula have been wanting this for years, trying to achieve it with other men and its been putting me off sex. scary when you think I had the chance of becoming a frigid cow! ,and as I am a terrible flirt, its abit of a after weird mindspace, but after todays session think not, he told me it was the best sex he has ever had for me too have been in love with other guys and not had this level of depth and sensuality.

and we are doing things he has never done before, liberal girl that I am so quite sure i rock his world

OP posts:
purrpussycatpurr · 09/01/2007 19:18

(((dior)))) don´t change your name, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. We care about you and are here anytime you want to talk (namechanges or not)

OP posts:
purrpussycatpurr · 09/01/2007 19:19

forestfern your post was spot on

OP posts:
hotpot · 09/01/2007 19:52

I always thought that you loved someone for WHO they were not what size they were.

Besides surely the men have some responsibility in making us larger after we carried their children.

My DH is fab and very sensual and I have no complaints, he cries at sentimental stuff too is most passionate and considerate lover. It is rare and I am hanging onto him forever.

Judy1234 · 09/01/2007 20:34

Being single.....would just add that obese men don't do much for me.

Bucketsofdynomite · 10/01/2007 09:01

So Pussycat are you in love then?

Is sensuality perhaps something to do with being willing to learn? I like to think I left most of my exes somewhat improved in the bedroom dept. Any whambam types that didn't soften (poor choice of word) between my expert thighs and let me join in didn't get a 2nd chance. Good sex is 2 people getting equally sweaty.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 10/01/2007 10:47

What are you getting at Xenia? Being physcially attracted.. or not.. to someone who don't actually know as a person, bears no relation to the point in question, ie Dior's supposed DH, her life partner and father of her children, remarking that he is (now) turned off by her size! And a size 14 is not obsese!

Dior · 10/01/2007 13:12

Message withdrawn

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 10/01/2007 13:20

I agree. I suppose it does depend on what 'type of person' you are in that respect. If you go for one night stands, then you needn't know or care what type of person someone is behind the looks; that type of shallow relationship doesn't require it!

OrmIrian · 10/01/2007 13:22

Read about tantra - took so long to read a few chapters. Not sure I understood it even then. Sounded more like a triathlon than sex but hey.... Bear in mind that this was in days of yore when we were at it like bunnies and didn't need any help thankyou very much. Now we might benefit but who'se got the time with three kids?

OrmIrian · 10/01/2007 13:26

Might add that my DH - whatever his other failings may be - is a very good lover, mainly because he cares about my pleasure as much, possibly more, than his own. Which means I get loads of attention. Does that make him a sensual lover? Still I would rather not bother mind.... guess that makes me odd and possibly a bit spoilt. But I personally think it just proves that I'm knackered and stressed most of the time.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 10/01/2007 13:35

Not sure tantra is necessarily something you do when you need help in that department.. I think it's more a different 'type' or approach to sex.. a more spiritual, holistic approach. For some reason (probably because I once registered I imagine! ) I get emails from Tantra.com and they have lots of interesting info in them. There was once a piece on "how to have a tantric orgasm on your own'.. it involved lots of a certain type of breathing and some rudientary knowledge of the chakras. The orgasm, when achieved, is apparently completely mind blowing compared to a normal once, because it's not just centred around the 'nether regions'.. and it goes on longer.

I did have a go (you are not allowed to touch yourself at all in the usual way!) but didn't get far but this is mainly due to the fact that I didn't have time to concentrate on it.. (I rarely have time for usual bodily functions like the loo (!) never mind the practicing of solo tantric orgasms! ) and I have to confess I could feel it working.. I would probably have got there with more time/practice.. it's very intriguing!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 10/01/2007 13:38

Here you go... they are actually called Energy Orgasms, I forgot...

How to have an energy orgasm

peacemakeruk · 10/01/2007 13:42

Hi Dior,
My ex husband (I'm glad to say) said something similar to me approx. a year after the birth of our DS. I asked him why he hadn't wanted to sleep with me for months and he replied that I was too fat and he didn't find me attractive anymore and that if I didn't lose the weight he'd leave me. Stupid me, at the time, did what he wanted and worked like mad to lose it. I did in the end get me some self esteem and left the useless b***d Best thing I ever did. My new DH loves me the way I am and always will.

Dior · 10/01/2007 13:43

Message withdrawn

mitzimelons · 10/01/2007 14:02

Hi, I agree with Peacemaker, my now exH (divorce come throught today !) wouldn't come near me when I was pregnant cos he didn't like 'fat women' took me ages to loose the weight and I have yo-yo'd for the last 10 years then 18 months ago I got down to a size 10 /12 and his reaction was "you are starting to look attractive"
Shortly after I left him and now with his (former) best mate who loves me the way I am.

Caligula · 10/01/2007 14:43

FFS Xenia.

peacemakeruk · 10/01/2007 15:00

My DH is technically obese and I love him to bits. He is the centre of my world and wouldn't trade him in for a skinnier model. He's great to cuddle and makes me feel so secure and taken care of.

Dior · 10/01/2007 17:19

Message withdrawn

Judy1234 · 10/01/2007 17:45

I ust said I wasn't attracted to men who are obese. I hardly think that's particularly controversial. I don't expect most women on this thread are unless they buy specialist magazines designed for that particular market.