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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Crossed the line ?! Or harmless

59 replies

Alliaskis · 10/04/2016 19:35

My friend has just sent me a message basically saying that whilst her ex was dropping the kids off to her they played a game of hide and seek .... She was hiding in her bed with her daughter under duvet when the ex climbed in beside her, curled up against her and started tickling her so she'd give the hiding place away with her laughs .....

She was a bit aghast I think is he is in a relationship and it was all a bit touchy feely ... What would you think ?! Over the top flirting or just a bit of fun ?!

OP posts:
InaMay · 10/04/2016 19:55

I'd think your friend was actually you. Cynical? Moi? That aside (as it's pretty irrelevant), I'd ask your friend what she felt the behaviour was, as without actually being there; knowing more about the situation and their relationship, it's hard to say if it was flirting or a bit of fun.

What do you think, OP?

AutumnRose1988 · 10/04/2016 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RudeElf · 10/04/2016 20:02

I think "your friend" needs to catch a grip of herself and stop playing hide and seek with her ex and letting him into her bed Hmm

Alliaskis · 10/04/2016 20:02

I'd say on anonymous posting board if it was me surely I would just say.

I was actually undecided but as he had left their marriage a while ago I was unsure what to make of it and whether he was trying his luck.

I wouldn't be happy though if it was my partner laying in bed next to his ex tickling her

OP posts:
Buzzardbird · 10/04/2016 20:03

I think 'your friend' already knows the answer.

Alliaskis · 10/04/2016 20:07

Placing your friend in inverted commas isn't going to suddenly convince me that I am posting rather stupidly under a guise.

Again both she and I, and other members of the group chat were all a little bemused as to why he had decided to do that.

I also gather she was playing hide and seek with the children and the ex joined in too ... Perfectly normal until the ticking which is what we questioned.

OP posts:
AutumnRose1988 · 10/04/2016 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RudeElf · 10/04/2016 20:11

Why was he even in her room? Why was he under the impression that was ok? Why didnt she jump out of the bed as soon as he got in and kick him in the nads? Your friend clearly hasnt enforced any boundaries. If my ex even came in my house tried to go near my room i'd have him knocked out with whatever heavy object was closest.

Arfarfanarf · 10/04/2016 20:14

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Penguinepenguins · 10/04/2016 20:14

All sounds a bit weird to me...

And agree it sounds like he was chancing his arm, but then not sure why she would hide in her bed either..

Buzzardbird · 10/04/2016 20:16

Just sounds like he was being over friendly, if she doesn't like it she should tell him. I don't see what the confusion is.

Buzzardbird · 10/04/2016 20:17

Have you asked her why she chose to hide in her bed and not somewhere downstairs that might have been more appropriate?

Alliaskis · 10/04/2016 20:29

The child had asked to hide there I assume she didn't expect him to come in as there were copious other places for him to hide !!!

The confusion would be what normal person would do that - it's ridiculously flirty !!!

OP posts:
RudeElf · 10/04/2016 20:39

So what did she do?

Buzzardbird · 10/04/2016 20:47

So, if that's how she feels, she tells him.

Alliaskis · 11/04/2016 18:48

She told him to stop And that it was time he went home.

I don't understand why the rude tone some of you took to this anyway.

We had been discussing it in a chat between us girls and we were all of the view that it was very flirty behaviour especially towards an ex. Just wondered if the ladies on here agreed but you all obviously felt that you'd vent your anger onto me.

Believe it or not the world is not black and white. Opinions are needed.

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 11/04/2016 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alliaskis · 11/04/2016 19:43

Sorry Arf not all just found a lot of the posts condescending - it is something that you discuss amongst your friends and I found it rather funny he would even try it.

I just find on these sites it's full of self entitled women that think they know the ways of the world and just want to lament on to you their simple minded views.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 11/04/2016 20:05

If by "funny" you mean "iffy" then I agree.

M00nUnit · 11/04/2016 20:08

It's good that she told him to stop and it was time for him to go home. Hopefully he'll realise he was out of line and won't try anything like that again!

RudeElf · 11/04/2016 20:18

I'm not really understanding the point of the thread OP. You had all already discussed it as a group and agreed it was too flirty for an ex to do. What more did you need from the thread? Confused

Alliaskis · 11/04/2016 20:47

To see if others agreed as friends tend to side with each other. Rudelf you were one of the condescending ones I was referring too - without issue in their life but feel the need to talk down to everyone else.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 11/04/2016 20:55

"Without issue in their life" Confused where have you got that idea?

I talked down to no-one.

I am starting to suspect this thread isnt what it seems and there is some agenda at play.

Alliaskis · 11/04/2016 20:59

You've suspected that from the beginning.
And been rude from the beginning.
I would never think to go on someone else thread and firstly question if it's really a "friend".
And you continued to be rude with each response.

Please don't comment again.

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 11/04/2016 21:03

Anyone can comment on a MN thread, though.