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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would it bother you if your OH spent 30mins - 1 hour almost everyday chatting to another woman?

68 replies

foxyfox112 · 08/04/2016 21:08

When he is travelling to/from work. It's someone he met through work but doesn't work with anymore. He doesn't have any reason to speak to her.

She moved away so he never sees her in real life, says they just chat occasionally but phone log shows it's nearly every day during the week.

OP posts:
RiceCrispieTreats · 08/04/2016 21:09

Yup.

LuluJakey1 · 08/04/2016 21:09

Yes

AnyFucker · 08/04/2016 21:10

yes

RiceCrispieTreats · 08/04/2016 21:10

But the question is : does it bother you?

DropYourSword · 08/04/2016 21:10

I wouldn't have an issue at all if they were sharing transport, but calling someone on the phone every day is a different matter. No, I wouldn't really like this.

Herewegoagainfolks · 08/04/2016 21:11

If they were in the same train commuting no.

He's calling her every day behind your back? Yes.

Shapebandit · 08/04/2016 21:11

Yes and he clearly knows it's inappropriate as he lied about how often he speaks to her!

Original poster
foxyfox112 · 08/04/2016 21:14

Yes it bothers me but as I know he doesn't see her didn't know if I was being overly jealous.

OP posts:
FuzzyOwl · 08/04/2016 21:15

The lying would bother me most because why, unless there is something to hide?

RiceCrispieTreats · 08/04/2016 21:16

Trust your feelings.

AnyFucker · 08/04/2016 21:18

why does he lie then ?

does he talk to you one to one for a full hour every day ?

Cocoabutton · 08/04/2016 21:18

Yes, that would bother me.

Original poster
foxyfox112 · 08/04/2016 21:19

It was a few months ago I first noticed and he said it was occasional so I don't know if he was lying then or telling the truth but now it has got my frequent

OP posts:
doodlejump1980 · 08/04/2016 21:20

Massive red flag for me I'm afraid

Original poster
foxyfox112 · 08/04/2016 21:20

more frequent

OP posts:
WellErrr · 08/04/2016 21:25

Yes. It's shady as fuck.

How do you know he doesn't see her?

AmIbeingaBitch · 08/04/2016 21:26

AF's question is good. Does he talk to you for an hour a day?

FifteenFortyNine · 08/04/2016 21:33

I don't think it makes a difference how long he speaks to OP during the day, might speak 10 hours straight or not at all. Doesn't change the fact that he makes the deliberate choice to chat for so long and so often with a woman he has no obvious connections to anymore. If there's no work/other reason behind the talks, then it comes down just plain desire and at least the start of emotional affair or more. Very suspicious definitely.

Coldtoeswarmheart · 08/04/2016 21:34

Yes, it sodding well would bother me.

bluespiral · 08/04/2016 21:35

Yes it would.

BigHairySpider · 08/04/2016 21:36

If the phone log shows they chat almost every day before and after work I would expect that they may chat more in the day too. They may be using email at work which you obviously are not able to see. Sorry op, I wouldn't be happy with this.

LosingTheWillToSkate · 08/04/2016 21:56

The talking wouldn't bother me. I have male friends I speak to daily.

Lying about it would bother me an awful lot!

MissusWrex · 08/04/2016 21:57

Dodgy as fuck op.

GraysAnalogy · 08/04/2016 22:00

This sounds like an emotional affair. I'm sorry OP.

I would hit the roof.

SmokyJoJo · 08/04/2016 22:12

Not ok.

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