Surprise pregnancy at a ripe old age...scared

[GoodGawdAlmighty]

Period is a few days late. Felt nauseous this morning, so decided to do a test, thinking 'this is very very unlikely...but I do feel a bit weird...so...'

Anyway, it was positive. No contraceptive failure that we knew of, but obviously there has been.

I'm 39. DH is 51. Our DC are 12 and 8. We had definitely decided we didn't want any more children after DC2 was born. DH had been looking into getting the snip. God, we are both old. Well, DH is old (sorry ).... Yet after the initial shock this morning, I feel strangely happy and excited.

Are we too old? Am I mad to be feeling a bit crazily excited? Can I do this to my old geezer? Seriously...need some words of wisdom, as my head is spinning.

I thought you'd be 49 not 39!

Oh OP, I thought you were going to say late forties! Totally unremarkable to be pregnant at 39.

I had dd at 42 and I was far from the oldest in my ante natal class.

You are not old. I had dc 4 (planned) at 40 and dc5 (surprise) at 44. Dh is eight years older than me.
In terms of age difference to Ds1 there is just under 17 years, 11 years to ds2 and 9 years to dd1. I have to say that was great. There was always a pair of arms to hold the baby, someone to help in a meaningful way (ie take turns to catty her about when she was colicky, keep an eye on her when I needed to go to the loo, have a shower...). Much easier than a small age difference.
In our case it was a case of talking about the snip.
Also both the pregnancies in my 40s were uneventful, births easy and I have to say I found it easier than I did when I was younger because I was more relaxed and more certain of myself.
Congratulations.

My inclination is to say congratulations too!

I had DC4 at nearly 42 (DH a bit younger tbf) & having a teenager around in your 50s doesn't half keep you in touch with the zeitgeist & stop you turning into a fuddyduddy. (Older kids were 10, 7 & 4 when informed & were delighted. Also v helpful when baby landed)

My baby is nearly 23 now & I often introduce him to music & other useful stuff

Hello OP and congratulations

I am 44, had dc2 at 39 and dc3 at 41!
My eldest was 8 when dc2 was born and 11 when dc3 was born, so not far off your two.
She was lovely with both newborns at those ages. Problems have only occurred three years later at 14/onset of puberty with a three and five year old who are challenging and annoying.
So...the good news is you should get at least two years of niceness before WW3
Bad points?
We do feel it sometimes, it is knackering but we have puberty vs Sibling rivalry from middle child vs terrible twos. You should have it slightly easier with the eldest two being not that far apart. It does feel a little like starting all over again.
Holidays/trips out/hobbies/meeting individual needs does become a balancing act. Demands on self, body, time, £, 'freedom'.
But it takes two to trouser tango so, as I am sure he will after the initial shock, your DP needs to support you as it would be far worse to force you into a decision you might regret.

Nope, not old at all.
I was 44 when I had DS, and have raised him alone since he was born. The only thing I worry about is staying around to meet my grandchildren!

Congratulations op. . Don't think 39 is that old to be having a baby, plenty of people have their first at that age, I'd say it's more common these days.

I suppose if you had your kids in your late twenties and we're done by early twenties it can seem old. As I said earlier, I found it easier with age but then I had kids in my twenties, thirties and forties.

My mother in law was 44 when she had dh. Given that he was 42 when his first child was born, she was very elderly and died when the kids were tiny.
I genuinely think there is something really lovely about big age differences. Both my older ones and the little one get so much from their relationship. It is lovely to see.

Clearly plenty of people do welcome children at an older age. The issue is whether that's you and your DH?

For me and my DH it would be a no way. It really depends on the individual situation whatever anyone else on either side of the fence has to say on it.

FivegoMad
I said the OPs DH was bit old but that it didn't matter - if you are going to quote people as being rude at least get it right. Also, I wasn't being rude!

Congratulations Op, you are not too old. I had my dd at 36 and I'm 39 soon and hoping I can fall again... As for your husband bring a bit older, I think it will keep him
Young x

Congratulations !! I think things happen for a reason .
Don't envy you and you will find it exhausting. But lots of my friends had careers and then the baby. Really quite normal now. How exciting .

Congratulations, you're definitely not old!!!!
I was 42 when I had DC5 last year, planned, 2 days after he was born my oldest turned 21 :)
Would love to have another one but DH says we've no room

For all those saying it's exhausting, it is, but I know no different. And tbh, one of my good friends has had a baby aged 29 - she's finding things exhausting too!
I'm 47, my DS is 3, but I can run around after him, I work, I run my home and I'm a lone parent.
You just get on with things - and I wouldn't change it for anything!

My DD 18 thinks I should have another one.
No feckin' way. I'm 47!!! I've done my bit thanks.
I shall await the grand children.
But 39 is a great age to have another DC.
My friend had her baby at 39.
If your DH is young at heart he will be just fine.
Congrats.

Congratulations OP! Lovely news. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Beautiful addition to your family how exciting!
I'm about where you were 10 years ago- late 20s wuth a toddler and pregnant with DC#2 so this could happen to me!!

FWIW, DH was a surprise 3rd baby when PIL were in their early 40s. His siblings are 10 and 12 years older than him. MIL says it was a massive shock to the system but once they'd all got their heads around it everyone was just so excited. They'd toyed with idea of a 3rd but just never committed. His older siblings doted on him and he was (is) spoilt rotten. Golden boy.

All the best!

I was far more exhausted at 30 with 2 children under 2, than I was at 38 with a newborn. It's all relative - and having older children who can help out makes a massive difference.

I was 12 when my brother was born. He's the little love of my life

Parenthood is exhausting however old you are. I don't see teen mums running around in the park with any more energy than any other mum.

Having said that, I had my dc later in life and wish I had had them earlier.

For you though, it sounds as if you like the idea so good luck and congratulations!

Congratulations, I had my youngest at 40 and she's 3 now, it's bloody marvellous x

39 is nothing! I had DC3 at 38. I thought you meant late 40's, not 30's! Congratulations

I had my first child at just gone 38 and my second at nearly 40.

Better than that, my grandmother had her first at 38 (iin 1918) and went on to have two more - they all lived to their 90s.

And there are older fathers - David Jason was 61 when his daughter was born (though in his case I'm sure the family finds life easier for having money).

Meant to say...my dcs were 9 and 7 when dc3 turned up - they adored him!

I had dd2 at 38. Definitely last one for me [touches wood]