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Original poster

Surprise pregnancy at a ripe old age...scared

100 replies

GoodGawdAlmighty · 30/03/2016 21:56

Period is a few days late. Felt nauseous this morning, so decided to do a test, thinking 'this is very very unlikely...but I do feel a bit weird...so...'

Anyway, it was positive. No contraceptive failure that we knew of, but obviously there has been.

I'm 39. DH is 51. Our DC are 12 and 8. We had definitely decided we didn't want any more children after DC2 was born. DH had been looking into getting the snip. God, we are both old. Well, DH is old (sorry Grin).... Yet after the initial shock this morning, I feel strangely happy and excited.

Are we too old? Am I mad to be feeling a bit crazily excited? Can I do this to my old geezer? Seriously...need some words of wisdom, as my head is spinning.

OP posts:
Greengardenpixie · 30/03/2016 22:45

I ws 43 when I had my last baby. You are not too old!!!

marzipanmaggie · 30/03/2016 22:45

jesus I thought you were going to say you were in your 50s. 39 is nothing. I had my first and only pregnancy at 39. Congratulations... but don't scare the bejeezus out of other people in their 30s having babies. It's normal, you know....

BitchyComment · 30/03/2016 22:51

You are not old but you DH is a bit old. Fortunately, It doesn't matter though. There are advantages and disadvantages.

I always think of how old you will be when your DC leave home which is typically 23 ish (approx) or older if they go to Uni. That means your DH will be 74'ish.

It is what it is and I don't think it's worth worrying about.

ExitPursuedByABear · 30/03/2016 22:52

Great username Hmm

RealityCheque · 30/03/2016 22:53

But Marzipan, the 'father' IS in his 50s.

And what Lealander said.

ExitPursuedByABear · 30/03/2016 22:55

Perhaps we shouldn't have had DD then.

MyLlamasGoneBananas · 30/03/2016 22:56

Awww. Nothing much add except Congratulations FlowersSmile

ExitPursuedByABear · 30/03/2016 22:57

I feel like I've stepped into a parallel universe.

So what age is acceptable for parenthood in judgement land?

Shadow1986 · 30/03/2016 22:57

My mum had my little sister at 39, I was 13..it was fine.

I had my first baby at 25, I get called young all the time, I was the youngest by about 7 years on my NCT group. Think you'll find there's plenty of women late thirties still having babies, some are only just starting out!

Congratulations. I hope the husband takes the news well too.

SueTrinder · 30/03/2016 23:01

You're not too old, I had DC3 at 41 (got the BFP on my birthday!). Your DH is getting older but... but... that's what happens with relationships with largish gaps. You had kids young presumably because he was ready for kids when he was the age you are now, and now you've been caught out when he's much older. These things happen and he won't be the first father with a baby in his 50s. I'm sure he'll love the baby if you decide to proceed with the pregnancy. It just needs a good chat about how you both feel about it. Fingers crossed x

cakeycakeface · 30/03/2016 23:03

My two were born when I was 40 and 43. DC2 was a much better sleeper than DC1 in those early weeks so bizarrely, I felt less tired with him than I did with her despite being a bit older. Congratulations!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 30/03/2016 23:05

Oh bollocks to "ripe old age". You cannot possibly think a pregnancy at 39 is anything out of the ordinary in 2016! Can only assume you are being goady.

PalePolkaDot · 30/03/2016 23:09

My dad had us late (big age difference between DM and him) and has been a brilliant father. We definitely kept him young., congratulation!

LucyBabs · 30/03/2016 23:10

My Mam had me at 38 I thought she was soooo old Grin
In reality she wasn't but the majority of my school friends had "young" parents.
I was one of 7 though!
I'm now one of the youngest parents at my dds (7) school. I was 26 when I had her.
If you are excited and your dh will be OK with the pregnancy then no harm done eh? Smile

buntymo · 30/03/2016 23:12

My dh was 9 and his sister 13 when his db arrived....they all get on really well as adults and did as children too, mil was early 40s when she had him...
Fun times ahead! Congratulations

MargotLovedTom · 30/03/2016 23:13

"Can I do this to my old geezer?"
Obviously I can't speak for your DH but mine is also 51 (I am in my 40s) and I think starting again with a newborn would see him (and me) off tbh! However we already have three DC and had them all close together which was knackering, and now we've well and truly moved on from the baby stage. (youngest is 8).

Congratulations though, it's good to hear you're feeling excited.

FenellaFieldmouse · 30/03/2016 23:21

Fgs 39 is not old and your DH will just get on with parenting like any other thrilled father. Plenty fathers much older than that and happy as Larry.
Congratulations to both of you!

sleeponeday · 30/03/2016 23:26

DD is 2. I'm 42. It's lovely. She's lovely. And her 7 yr old sib is her biggest fan (and she his!). Smile

nextchapterplease · 30/03/2016 23:27

Another one here who was just starting my family at your age - absolutely not too old at all.
Congratulations what a gift this surprise may well turn out to be!

MargotLovedTom · 30/03/2016 23:29

Bibbity 'saying 'ripe old age' is hardly being "goady".
Socially and culturally 39 may be an increasingly normal age to be pregnant, but in medical terms the OP is an elderly multigravida.

Scottishthreeberry16 · 30/03/2016 23:30

I was 42 as well. 39 is not old.

HeadlessChicken4 · 30/03/2016 23:30

Congratulations. Babies are little miracles. While they may be hard work, they are so worth it.

BlackeyedSusan · 30/03/2016 23:32

first and second babies in my late thirties so no, not old.

angielou123 · 30/03/2016 23:33

It was obviously meant to be! I'm 40 and haven't ruled out another one. Had the last at 38. It's certainly harder when your older though, I had 1 at 17 and 1 at 18. Then a long gap and had 1 at 33 and 1 at 38. I'm actually a granny too, my daughter (23) had 2 girls (3 and 4). How's that for making you feel old!!

Fivegomad · 30/03/2016 23:39

bibbity
Do you join every thread just be stroppy?
We all know that in a " perfect world" 39 is not old. However, in reality, it is knocking on a bit( no offence OP, I am over 40 and most certainly don't consider myself old) and when it comes to babies, it really does get harder as you get older.
Also, to the pp who commented that OP was fine but her DH was old...rude, just rude.
OP.....congratulations. Am quite sure that you and your ( slightly different than planned ) family will be fine. A lovely life awaits you allFlowers