To realise that dp is a nasty abusive shit

[midlifehope]

Lying here feeling very ill with headache and cough - been sweating all night. Asked dp to bring me a cold drink as I can't stand the light so can't get up. Have asked about 6 times. He hasn't bothered.

Can this be moved to relationships please?

Fun, I'd say it's fairly unkind to not get someone a drink they're feeling that unwell and some posters haven't given the OP the chance to explain whether or not it's part of a general pattern of behaviour.

OP hope you feel better soon and you continue to post either here or in relationships and get some support.

OP, it's no good moving this thread to relationships, it doesn't tell anyone anything about your relationship.

Start another one which includes the reasons why you think he's abusive as not getting you a drink doesnt make him abusive.

Christ. That escalated quickly!

As PPs have said, there's just not enough to go on in the OP. If all it is is that he won't get you a drink, that's hardly abusive, just mean and a bit callous. I'd certainly be upset if I was really poorly and DH wouldn't do a little thing like that for me, but I wouldn't class it as abuse.

My abusive ExP expected me to make his lunch, then walk a mile to his workplace and give it to him, when I was down with the most vicious bout of norovirus and effectively stuck in the empty bath ejecting foul liquids at both ends. I physically couldn't do it nor did I fucking want to, and my punishment was to be locked in the house for 3 days with an equally poorly baby DS1, and be subjected to a tirade of abuse for how ill and 'disgusting' I was. THAT is abuse.

Think your being a bit over the top. Is there any reason he wouldn't pass you a drink? And yeah always baffles me how posters are too ill to lift their head, complain they are looking after demanding children, but can post MN. When I'm busy/that ill I can't do that.

Gosh, some lovely, caring people on here.

No family or friends you can call in help from?

If not you're going to have to grit teeth and set self upright.

I do hope you feel better after a couple of paracetamol, a cool drink and a bite to eat. Counter intuitive but I find a headache/head cold improves with fresh air so gird loins and go to park later.

Your relationship problems won't go away but they can wait til you're more yourself

Hi OP
Sorry you are unwell and dp so unsupportive.

I think you had better get up, have a cup of tea and paracetamol and call a family member to help,or your GP if you think this is more than a simple flu virus type of thing.
If no one to help, it's CBeebies plenty to drink and sofa day.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rough mid and feeling DP doesn't care, and he's left you to look after your two little ones on your own. That seems pretty uncaring to me too, and as some of the more understanding PP's have said we don't know what else is going on in this relationship.
Hope your day is better than you expect and you feel a bit better soon
Is there anyone else you could ask to come over and give you a bit of support today?

Hi OP
I've reported and asked for this to be moved to relationships.
You should get a lot more understanding and support over there.

As a PP says. Do you have any family or friends nearby?
Will they help you?

Do you want to tell us what else he does?

Can you call Womens Aid and get some support from them?
They can help you with local support groups and help you to understand what is going on here. 0808 2000 247
The number will not appear on your phone bill.

This sounds a small part of a much bigger problem.

Can you call a friend/relatives to deal with the immediate problem?

When you are feeling better, ask for help regarding the future of your relationship in relationships.

He is indeed an arse for not getting you a drink if you need one, and even more so leaving you with small kids when you are ill, unless perhaps it was to go to work and he had no other option. Even then he should have attempted to help get reinforcements or at least a drink.

Well it certainly wasn't kind or helpful ...if it was me, I would try to set everything up before I left..phone, drinks, TV, paracetamol, kids downstairs etc etc and call in within an hour or so if I could not avoid going to work.

Is dp resident at home with you?

But unless there is more this is a bit ott and i have a disability! I've also got the virus that's going around. It's fucking vile. I've been seriously ill with it,my dp is also ill though so i've had to drag myself around.
I agree that there is a difference in light of the phone to light in the house.
i don't agree with calling her dp abusive just because of this though.

Unrelated but if it moves to your chest you may need to go to the doctors for antibiotics.

I know this is AIBU, but is there any need for some of you to sound
quite so bracing?

quite right. OP get better, take strong strong painkillers, sleep then come back (maybe to relationships)

MrsS1990 well i suffer with chronic health problems. I have days not being able to lift my head yet i can post on here, it's called using a phone and trying to distract myself from this torture.

Are you seriously calling someone not getting you a glass of water, abuse? Really, grow up.

mildlife, I see that most threads you have started are about your partner. What new advice are you looking for, posters seem to have pointed out over and over again that he sounds highly insensitive. I'm sorry he's such an arse, but perhaps you need to actually see (when you're better) about how things are going to change, and avoid anymore brash comments online. If nothing has changed in the last year, when will they?

Jeez, some people are really vile.

Why don't you distract yourself by getting a glass of water?

Driven off where? Have you had an argument or has he gone to work?

Viruses are shit and I was pretty well knocked out by a cold a couple of weeks ago. I felt horrendous and despite getting plenty of sleep, I had a throbbing headache, a blocked nose, a cough and I felt exhausted and really miserable, so I have lots of sympathy for you

Oh, I seriously thought it was a wind up jokey thread, the OP was funny and the first very typical replies too :(

If you are in bed and unable to get up, who on earth is currently looking after the 6 month old and 4 year old?! You need to call a friend or someone who can come over quickly.

OP report your own post and ask MNHQ to move it to relationships.

I think if people weren't falling over themselves to be clever, they would probably put two and two together and assume you have other grievances against your h. Sorry you are feeling so ill and with two young kids. Can anyone come in and give you a hand for an hour or two?

I think if people weren't falling over themselves to be clever, they would probably put two and two together and assume you have other grievances against your h

Assumtions are dangerous things, that's why most people work with the information given to them, instead of adding in their own scenarios. I mean, I could have assumed from the opening post that the partner may have been busy with the children and not been able to get the drink yet, or assume the op can't be that ill to be posting on MN. Assumtions can go many ways, doesn't make them right.

It's really not 'dangerous' to assume someone posting on MN has a back story, don't be silly.