He has pushed all the accountability for his whole world into you. So by his warped thinking, yes it rained today - you evil beep, how could you let it happen. Yes, he had a headache today, you evil beep, how could you MAKE that happen. Yes, he wanted peas with dinner, you should have known, you evil beep.
And you also are not entitled to any needs and feelings yourself. So if you dare to have them, you are stealing all that time and attention and resources directly from him. Because only he is allowed to be ill. Only he is allowed to be a flawed and imperfect human being. And it's an attack on him if the world shifts even a tiny bit.
So, you need anything, like, a jumper, a rest, a hug... That's you being abusive to him. And if you dare be poorly, be in pain ... Be having a potential heart attack. That's you tipping his world upside down and deliberating taking his right to rule his tiny world and take take take without end. You bitch!
Look, this is how you have abused him. You are threatening the world he has created. And so he's kicking off big time. He wants you back where you belong, supporting his whole existence.
Don't give in, don't go back into that world he has created. It's fucked up and terrible, it is destroying you, and actually, isn't making him happy either. His world is basically a terrible terrible failure.
His perception doesn't allow him to admit what a cruel and selfish abuser he is. How he needs to destroy you and have you as a broken slave to his every whim.
He is wrong.
One of the most difficult bits about trying to leave an abusive relationship, is that your whole life, brain and heart is oriented on him. You use his reaction to steer your world, it's a survival tactic. But that puts you in the position of needing him to acknowledge the reality of your relationship and the abuse he puts you through on a daily basis. And if he acknowledges it, you can leave. Except of course, he won't admit it, he has a million reasons to live in denial, and to be brutally honest, he cares a lot more about himself and his world, than he does about you.
This is the trickiest bit you have to go through. Separating your reality from his reality. And moving him out of that position of being lord and ruler of reality.
Keep clinging on to what you know deep down - you deserve more than this life. He's the one doing the damage here, not you. Every time he try's to enforce his 'reality' on you, keep breathing and keep centred, keep remembering, you don't have to live in his fantasy world, you don't have to accept his lets pretend part for you of 'evil abuser'. It's just a part, just a character he needs you to play, it's not true.
