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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Men on online dating posting pictures of themselves....

98 replies

lottielou7 · 22/03/2016 19:18

Standing there in their pants. Since when did this become a thing?? Do they not realise how desperate it looks?

I actually thing OD is becoming worse not better!

OP posts:
Mag314s · 23/03/2016 19:15

Exactly trills. Thank them for labelling what they are 'offering' so clearly!

Mag314s · 23/03/2016 19:21

Oh yes, all the travellers.. fgs. I have a job. Two dc at school.
what are all these men doing or not doing that they can list travelling as a current passion.
Puts me off now. I think well i cant drop everythink to go to thailand

Trills · 23/03/2016 19:23

I mean, if I WERE looking for casual sex then I would also be pleased that they were labelling themselves properly.

Mag314s · 23/03/2016 19:26

If i were looking for casual sex i might go for one of the fit 27 year olds who for some reason message women nearly 20 years older. I think the detachment i would feel could be very ..... male. I was going to say empowering but i dont think it would be as i would be longing for the companionship of somebody closer to my own age

SupSlick · 23/03/2016 19:26

zaphodsotherhead I normally just say "wow that looks inflamed, have you had that checked out" Grin

IfNotNowThenWhenever · 23/03/2016 19:27

My ds took one of my online dating pics uterusGrin I didn't tel him what it was for, obviously!

I really hate selfies. Selfies on profiles really put me off. And I won't message anyone who has their kids in the picture, or goes on about how much they love their kids. Well, yeah, you have kids, you love them, it's a given. The more they go on about their kids, the greater the chance they are a shit parent. I once dated a guy who, like me, hadn't even mentioned he had dc on his profile. Turns out he was a single parent, and a good one. There's a definite correlation there.
Im at the point now of nixing any photo with a mountain bike in, which automatically gets rid of about 75% of men.
I quite like a (shaved)baldy though, and I don't mind a bit of a gut Smile

Mag314s · 23/03/2016 19:27

Ha!

CockacidalManiac · 23/03/2016 19:29

I quite like a (shaved)baldy though, and I don't mind a bit of a gut

winks lasciviously at IfNotNow

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/03/2016 19:33

It's odd though - IME men in their pants are just as likely to have written that they're looking for that someone special to enjoy life with for walks on the beach and snuggling in front of the TV as they are to say they're just looking for fun.

HelenaDove · 23/03/2016 19:40

Mag re. your post about weight on page 1 Leaving aside their bizarre sense of entitlement age and weight arent necessarily connected. I was obese in my twenties and a size 28.

Im 42 now and a size 12 to 14 hourglass with fair size boobs as its the only place that takes ages for the weight to come off.

These men are not only misogynistic.......they are thick morons to boot

HelenaDove · 23/03/2016 19:48

I like a man to look a bit lived in. .....like hes fun.

But it entirely depends on his temperament and personality.

Online dating sounds far too shallow to me.

CockacidalManiac · 23/03/2016 19:51

Helena, it certainly can be. I'd never use Tinder again.
I might try Guardian Soulmates in the summer.

Eminado · 23/03/2016 20:53

Married for 8 years - feel like I havent lived! Grin

Aussiemum78 · 23/03/2016 21:06

Men who can't spell. Ugh.

I found a funny one on pof.com yesterday.

Men on online dating posting pictures of themselves....
Aussiemum78 · 23/03/2016 21:07

I would date that guy if I was ready to date. He sounds fun.

lottielou7 · 23/03/2016 23:16

Countess - you are so right. It makes no sense that people won't make assumptions about nearly nude photos but they will about what's in the profile.

Also, watch out for the guys who put exclamation marks at the end of a sentence! It generally means they're talking BS!

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 24/03/2016 00:17

AussieMum that guy sounds ok if I was on dating scene Id definitely reply to his ad. He's active, but not too active (men with loads of hobbies/activities - nope) and he's not had the sense of humour bypass operation. He'd do.

Mag314s · 24/03/2016 08:29

I think that's funny! I don't know if it's his own joke, but a majestic running style due to watching a lot of wildlife documentaries, that is funny! credit to the original wit.

lottielou7 · 24/03/2016 08:40

I don't reply to men who say 'I like a woman who keeps on shape'

I came across a guy quite a while ago who stated 'I'm looking for a relationship but also just a bit of fun depending on who you are'. What a charmer! He also stated in his profile 'I don't like most people'

OP posts:
PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 24/03/2016 09:13

I remember one women's profile which seemed to be less an advert for her own qualities and more a list of demands of what she expected from any would be suitor. It was quite literally a tick list of height requirements, profession, academic achievements, income, skiing ability, accent etc Thought it was a pisstake and scrolled down to see the inevitable punchline but there wasn't one, she was serious.

Special mention to any women who uses the phrase "I like the finer things in life" which I felt always translated as "If you want to impress me our first date better be at The Ivy and you better be picking up the bill"

HelenaDove · 24/03/2016 23:09

PanGalactic thats ridiculous.

Jollyphonics · 25/03/2016 07:48

This thread has made me laugh out loud! I've recently joined POF, and the car photos are SO funny. Do men really think the fact that they're standing by a Ferrari will be the clincher?
And yes, the travellers, who want a woman who can fly off to Borneo at a moment's notice to do a spot of trekking, and spend every weekend on European city breaks. Er, what about work, kids, life? Who are these footloose and fancy free men?
Anyway, I'm really curious to see what photos women put on their profiles so I can get an idea of what others do. Is there a way of seeing these on any of the dating sites, without having to set up a fake profile myself?

Mag314s · 25/03/2016 08:02

pangalactic should have fixed her up with a man I went on a date with! It's the one bad date that I know I brought upon myself.

I had read his profile and it was all about his idea woman. She had to be slim and stylish but sexy, she had to be organised but spontaneous, healthy active and outdoorsy, but she had to be feminine, she had to be family orientated without actually being already encumbered with a young family (Ok, that bit I made up, but the rest is all true ) she had to be able to assemble furniture, watch the rugby, make a good Thai meal, but she had to be independent and challenge [him]............. on and on this shit went.

So I wondered what on earth he had to offer such a lovely woman :-p I messaged him, very gently mocking him, to say that his ideal date sounded like a lovely woman and I'd like to go on a cup of tea with her myself.

Before I knew where I was I was having dinner with him. He didn't drink 'because he'd always been special' he told me. He wasn't terrible, I guess, he wasn't a pervert or anything, but he was very entitled! This pompous man, in his fifties turned up looking very jaded compared to his photo. He reprimanded me slightly for having worn sun glasses in one of my FOUR photos. He had three spots on his neck and he coughed his way through the date. I suggested the restaurant, a favourite of mine for ages, and he looked around it and asked ''is that music live?'' and I could literally see the thought in his head ''I'll take somebody else here! somebody slim but sexy, somebody organised but spontaneous........''.
That was the only time he looked animated during the date, when he was planning a date with somebody else. {eurgh} over it now

Mag314s · 25/03/2016 08:20

Jollyphonics yes, I think they think it makes them sound like Bear Grylls or something.

I'd prefer if somebody wrote that they have seen blah blah and blah and they're so glad they did cos now they're stuck working for a bank

Mumteedum · 25/03/2016 08:35

Love this thread! I've not done OD but have had a look. My observations...

*men at weddings (theirs?!)
*men holding beer (pissed with mates)
men with kids ( state they don't have kids in profile. Whose kids have you borrowed to pose with?!?

I'll pass thanks Grin