why do I do this to myself

[imsuchafool12345]

I'm such a horrible person. I just lied to my partner cause I knew he'd flip and he found out and flipped anyway. now he said he doesn't want nothing to do with me now and left me and our son in our room.

thing is the lie wasn't that big. Nothing like me cheating or having EA. and if anything I should be the one angry at him cause he keeps calling me stupid and thick and he doesn't want his son turning out like me.

I know I'll probably be flamed for lying I deserve it but I don't believe it deserved to be spiralled out of control.

That's the time when you should have called the police. Why didn't you and why are you still in the house?

I'm not I'm out the house in my nans spare room and I wasn't thinking straight I'm stupid for not doing it.

goddess maybe read the OP's posts properly before having a go at her!

OP, WELL DONE for leaving. That took a lot of strength and courage. Now you need to take some steps to take care of yourself. Starting by calling Women's Aid.

I'll call them first thing in the morning my head isn't with it and I'm going to go docs too.

Sounds good. Hope you get a decent night's sleep. xx

I did indeed read the OP's post at 17.41 from the first word to the last, Emma.

Nowhere does it say that she's in a spare bedroom at her dgps and her reluctance to have called the police, despite a number of posters here urging her to do so, coupled with her re-living the moment that he ran up the stairs, suggested that she hadn't left her home.

Furthermore, in asking why she chose not to involve the police when she felt under threat of being physically attacked, despite having a text ready to send, I am not "having a go" at the OP and am merely endeavouring to discover the root cause of her reluctance to protect herself.

Have you located your nearest WA service, OP, and is there an email address as well as a phone number?

Be honest with your GP, OP, and ask him/her to check your bloods as you may be vitamin deficient and there's a possibility that you may be suffering from pnd which, in part at least, could be caused by your toxic relationship with your ds's father.

Now that you are safely installed at your dgps' home it's to be hoped that you'll be feeling considerably better by the weekend.

goddess I think you missed the OP's post at 17.28 in which she said she'd left. But I don't want to derail or get into an argument, I just want us to focus on supporting the OP, which we are doing

I didn't miss the OP's post at 17.28 but, given the way she described her physical state, I didn't equate "leaving" with 'left', Emma, and it seemed probable to me that she was still upstairs in her own home.

However, fortunately she's not and it's to be hoped that she begins to feel better soon.

If you wish to avoid derailing the thread please feel free to pm me if you want to take issue with any responses I post here, or elsewhere for that matter.

sorry if I didn't explain myself better. my head wasn't with it. and the reason why I didn't send that text was my phone was one side of the room and my son was the other. when I heard him running up the stairs my first thought was to get my son and protect him in my arms than get my phone to send a text. once he had gone my next thought was to pack up and go.

You don't need to explain yourself to us, OP. Hope you're feeling ok and can get some support from the GP and/or Women's Aid tomorrow.

I'll let you know what happens. I'm going to try and get some sleep. thanks for all your help ladies

I had an ok nights sleep. going to call women's aid and go from there.

WA are busy so if you don't get through the first time just keep trying.
I'm glad you got some sleep.
I hope you manage to stay away and keep yourself and your DS safe.
Well done OP, you are doing all the right things.