Dp's ex tagging along with him during his time with the children

[Disgruntledex]

Would you be annoyed if you'd been with your dp a while and suddenly he started to spend more time with his ex on the days he has the children ? It seems like every other weekend they play happy families going off to places or out for dinners .. He even took her with them to visit his grandparents.
It's not always been like this but the last few months it has crept up.

I've asked him why he feels the need too suddenly. ( if it had been something they'd always done since the split I think I would be slightly more according but they haven't and it's only the last few months it's changed). I thought he might have said he felt the need to because she's their mother but instead he said it wasn't out of duty, that he enjoyed catching up with her and hearing about her job and life.
As far as I'm aware there is no contact between visits unless dc related I just don't understand why she needs to be there and why so regularly.

No we don't live together.
We still work together and see each other outside of work once a week ... He works a lot more than me and has less spare time.

Hedda has it spot on. If he was serious you would have met his kids. Walk away.

He isn't your partner, he doesn't include you in his life. You are his girlfriend and he doesn't seem to value you very much.

Looks to me as though he wants to get back with his wife. Does she know you exist?

So how do you know he's not living with his wife, if he's just a man you date once a week ?

Once a week? Have you met his parents, other family or friends? Are you sure he's not just having an affair with you? Is your relationship public knowledge or does he avoid telling people about it?

I think you might actually be his OW in that case.

You might want to start finding out just how much of an ex his ex actually is and what he's really doing when he's "working a lot more than you".

He lives one that is a certainty they are based an hour away from each other.
Colleagues know about us and mutual friends.

When you see him, where do you see him?

At his or mine.
They are definitely not together that is common knowledge.

Once a week?!
and doesn't want you to meet his kids.
He's not into it at all, is he?
Even if he wasn't spending more time with his XW than with you by the sounds of it.

Presumably mutual friends are people you know from working together. He may well be seeing you both - his XW may have no contact with these people. My partner never sees my boyfriend (or previous boyfriends) I could easily have pretended. Especially as his wife lives an hour away with small kids.

You don't mention his family? Have you met them?

As I said upthread though... even if he isn't with her or wanting to be, a man who hasn't introduced you to his kids after a year isn't serious about you - sorry.

Cut your losses and run.

Op he's playing you. It's obvious he wants to get back with her. If he comes to you tomorrow and says that they are together again, I'm sure everything you've posted will be clear as day and make sense. So why wait till he does that?
He's building up his relationship with her, and keeping you as a backup if it falls through with her.

You doing even know why they split... Something to do with having form for cheating with another person at your work. You're not exactly a close couple if don't actually know.

Also, you say ex but not ex wife. Are they actually divorced? I'm going to lay down a tenner that says not.

They weren't married. And I said he left for someone else up the thread.
That someone wasn't me which I also stayed up thread.

Just read your thread title again: it seems likely that she is tagging along because he is inviting her.

He invites her because she is the mother of his kids; she may or may not be prepared to have him back.

Just wondering why you would be asking these questions rather than running for the hills.

The best revenge is to live your life very happily without him, or even without them. Hope you find the life you really want, so you can be happy.

So in "more than a year" (but less than 2?) he has left one relationship and children, had another, and is now with you?

He's no keeper.

I know you said that. My point is, you said "I think" - you don't even know why he split up with her when she was a significant relationship. It just doesn't sound like a close relationship on his part now.

You only see him once a week, he won't let you meet his kids, if he's doing a full family day every other week with her included now, he's actually probably spending more hours with her than you now.

Honestly, so you want a boyfriend you only see once a week? You blame it on his work which suggests it's not what you want.

It just sounds like he's not serious about you, sorry

I think you need to find someone else this man is not your dp he is a casual boyfriend you see once a week and are not part of his actual life you clearly want more and you are somehow seeing the mother of his dc as the ow when it's probably you. Stop playing the pick me dance and move on.

Have you met his parents or siblings? If not he definitely isn't interested in it going anywhere.

You're not his girlfriend, you're his fuckbuddy and hes using you while he tries to get back with the mother of his kids.

I wouldn't call someone I see one night a week a boyfriend.
Especially if I'd never met his family or his kids.

You are not his girlfriend, you are his convenient regular sex hook up.
You are probably the OW.

Is this the sort of relationship you want?
If not, then do something about it - leave him, or tell him that things need to change drastically.

It is not his ex 'tagging along' that is a problem, it is the way that he treats you that is.

I missed the once a week comment.

Sounds like you're a fuck buddy/booty call not a girlfriend.

Well I gathered something was up and that's why I had asked for views and experience.
I am not the other woman nor have I ever been.
It's common knowledge they are not together.
Neither lives in the same house that they shared - she's moved back to her home town ... All tell take signs that when they split she was aware that he was gone!!

I don't think anyone means that you were/are the OW in the usual sense tbh.

What I meant was you are probably technically the OW now, without even realising it.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's back together with his ex, and she is completely unaware of your existence.

They're trying to fix their relationship. Or he is anyway.

Let him go. You're not really in his life.

Give yourself the chance to meet someone who wants to have a real relationship with you.

He sees her every other weekend as a family (and emails a lot more).
He sees you once a week.
He works a lot more hours than you do.

I'm beginning to wonder how many other women he's stringing along because he sounds like a serial cheater to me. I used to work with one many years ago and I remember he once had 3 of his girlfriends on the phone simultaneously and neither knew of the others' existence .

Whatever he is, I agree he isn't treating you or your relationship with the respect you deserve. The question is whether you're happy with this. If you're not, time to get rid!