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Original poster

I feel like shit

57 replies

SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 21:01

So I got used by a guy and he lied to me.Just stringing me along until he found someone else.

He just changed his profile picture to him and his gf smiling happily together.

He would never have taken me away or posed for a picture with me.

She is good enough and I am only good enough to be used.

I feel utterly worthless. Fuck this. Im giving up.

OP posts:
clashofclanswidow · 29/02/2016 21:17

Oh OP, so sorry for you =(

Please don't allow him to let you feel this way.

I'm not sure how long this has been going on but if I were you, I would take some time to think about what will make you happy again.

Please don't think you need this mans approval to be happy in yourself =) xx

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 21:21

I met him in 2013. On/off since then.

But he has cheated and lied in every relationship he has ever had. When I caught him cheating on me, he sulked and treated me like the abuser for saying anything and behaved like the victim. It was so effective and he so manipulative I was saying sorry to him for what i did.

But even I wasnt good enough to be publicly acknowledged as his gf. And she is.

I dont think anyone knew about me. He was good at future faking though.

There he is all happy and smiling with her. I've realsied how little I really meant. I was a filler until he got someone else and he would never pose for a picture with me.

OP posts:
Sandyclaus · 29/02/2016 21:26

So - maybe hard to think this but - you are better off without him. If he cares so little about you're feelings then you've had a lucky escape - and that means that the right is waiting for you.

Tell yourself that is welcome to him- you can do a lot better than a lying cheating bastard

goddessofsmallthings · 29/02/2016 21:29

he would never pose for a picture with me If having your photo taken with him meant so much to you, why did you stick around after he'd made it clear he didn't want to pose with you?

he has cheated and lied in every relationship he has ever had In which case it won't be long before he cheats on his latest flame but, again, it begs the question of why you stuck around after you caught him cheating on you?

You're not "worthless" but, as far as this man is concerned, you've behaved as if you're of no consequence and I'm curious to know why you allowed him to treat you so badly?

Robotgirl · 29/02/2016 21:32

He sounds like a massive wank badger thunder cunt.
You're 5 zillion times better off without him. Fact.

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 21:35

he would never pose for a picture with me If having your photo taken with him meant so much to you, why did you stick around after he'd made it clear he didn't want to pose with you?

I never asked him to pose with me. He didnt take any pictures of me unless they were me naked in bed with him

he has cheated and lied in every relationship he has ever had In which case it won't be long before he cheats on his latest flame but, again, it begs the question of why you stuck around after you caught him cheating on you

He looks really happy with her though. Mind you I saw pictures of him really happy with his last two gfs too and he cheated on both of them. I dont know...I was in a bad place at work and needed the attention. He had been lying to me about us. Speaking of all the time we had to spend together in the future and how great it would be.

You're not "worthless" but, as far as this man is concerned, you've behaved as if you're of no consequence and I'm curious to know why you allowed him to treat you so badly?

It sounds ridiculous but I really like him and I do not know why. He has really got under my skin.

i know the odds are he will cheat on this one when bored. But at least she gets publicly acknowledged as his gf. A privilege even I didnt get.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 21:35

He sounds like a massive wank badger thunder cunt.
You're 5 zillion times better off without him. Fact.

That made me smile!

OP posts:
Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 21:43

Oh and I did walk once. I gave up. Then he really stepped up and acted like he cared.

I thought he did. I guess it was to keep me around.

OP posts:
nicenewdusters · 29/02/2016 21:50

I think you should count yourself lucky there's no documentary evidence of your time with him. He sounds like a Jeremy Kyle researcher's dream, an absolute knuckle dragging arsehole. Why do you think your standards are so low that despite everything you can admit to still liking him ? I'm afraid to say that it does sound ridiculous.

BlondieLoxie · 29/02/2016 21:51

Never think that you wasn't good enough. I've been in some shitty relationships and I know exactly how you feel.

One guy in particular chased me, got me and strung me the fuck along for years. He said he doesn't do love and cares about me but doesn't love me. He loved his exes and he fell in love with the woman he cheated on me with, but not me!

Figured I was too needed, too available and to accepting of his half measured affections.

Read a great book 'why men love bitches'. Title put me off but was recommended by a friend. Awesome book and I'm telling you now, there's a lot of truth in it. Never accepted anything less than my worth from that moment on.

He is the problem and maybe the way you view yourself. You need to toughen up for your own sake.

BlondieLoxie · 29/02/2016 21:52

*too needy

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 21:59

I think you should count yourself lucky there's no documentary evidence of your time with him. He sounds like a Jeremy Kyle researcher's dream, an absolute knuckle dragging arsehole. Why do you think your standards are so low that despite everything you can admit to still liking him?

I would pay money to see him on Jeremy Kyle with all the women he has fucked over confronting him. Lol.

I dont know. It wasnt all bad. It sounds bad as I am focusing on all the negative stuff as I am hurt.

At the time, we got on well, he was nice to me, we talked loads, we had nice evenings together, had great sex, I genuinely enjoyed his company, we have similar senses of humour.

Some stuff happened near the end which made me find out it all wasnt as it seemed and I didnt walk away as I was in hell at work and needed the attention. Then he dumped me anyway telling me about his new gf.

I am sure he probably overlapped her with me and about 2 others anyway.

But she has the gf label and even i didnt get that. I wasnt even good enough to meet his friends. He took me out for dinner, drinks but no one ever met me like his friends.

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 29/02/2016 22:16

He has really got under my skin Get a pin and winkle him out. All you have to do is chalk him up to experience, put a high value on yourself, and avoid chancers, users, and losers.

Remember that actions speak louder than words; don't allow yourself to emotionally invest in any man who fails to demonstrate that he means what he says and look for one who truly is a 'man of his word'.

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 22:28

So why is she good enough to meet everyone and be his gf.

But I wasnt.

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Malefriendproblem · 29/02/2016 22:31

OP You wrote some lovely things on my similar thread recently and I do know what you are going through. Take the same advice you gave me and value yourself. You are not worthless. The scumbag that made you feel that way is not worth the shit on your shoe. As you said to me, the new gf will soon suss him out and hopefully drop him from a great height. Karma will win the day. Take care of yourself x

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 22:35

The scumbag that made you feel that way is not worth the shit on your shoe.

No it is the other way around. I am not worth the shit on his shoe or I'd be his gf.

Maybe this is the time he stops cheating and becomes a decent man

OP posts:
ouryve · 29/02/2016 22:35

He's the shit and is hardly a prize for his new girlfriend.

Block him out of your life and off your Internet.

goddessofsmallthings · 29/02/2016 22:49

Leopards don't change their spots. Once a cheat, always a cheat - just make damn sure he doesn't do his cheating with you.

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 22:54

Leopards don't change their spots. Once a cheat, always a cheat - just make damn sure he doesn't do his cheating with you.

I think he has cheated with me. As i said something came to light near the end and I was like wait a minute, you were back with your ex, we were seeing each other then and he said ummm ahhhh no I cant remember the dates.

I wouldnt knowingly have let him cheat with me. He lies about everything I found out. He seemed so sensitive and sweet when I met him. It horrified me what he was capable of in the end.

I just cant let go of the face that this is the time he will be a good man and I was just me he used.

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NewChristian · 29/02/2016 22:55

He's the one who isn't good enough - not you! One of the most important things I've realised recently is that you should never rely on anyone else to validate how you feel about yourself. If you start with you, your self esteem will improve.

Honestly, this man is no prize at all is he? His new gf will also be on the end of his shitty behaviour. There are so many screwed up people around. They are the inadequate ones and not you. Be kind to yourself.

Lemond1fficult · 29/02/2016 22:55

I don't know you, but I can guarantee you're worth ten of him. Just because you were taken in by an arsehole who doesn't respect women doesn't mean you're shit on anyone's shoes. It happens to us all at some point.

All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and watch out for the warning signs next time. Such as not wanting to take pictures with you. Or constant past cheating.

Hope you get over this dickhead soon. (And block his Facebook! You know it makes sense).

NewChristian · 29/02/2016 22:57

He isn't a good man. Decent people don't treat others badly. They don't lie and cheat.

Even if they pretend to be nice and say they would never treat you that way, eventually they show their true colours.

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 29/02/2016 23:20

it wasnt just cheating.

he is always complaining about work and was dismissive to me last time i saw him. I'd never seen that side of him before.

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 29/02/2016 23:50

Whether or not he 'just' used you is immaterial as the fact is that he is NOT a good man. He will NEVER be a good man. And he is not good enough for you.

Set the pole higher - and don't allow any man to limbo dance under it. Smile

Original poster
SoThatHappened · 01/03/2016 00:02

Whether or not he 'just' used you is immaterial as the fact is that he is NOT a good man. He will NEVER be a good man. And he is not good enough for you.

It is the never being a good man thing that is the stumbling block. I can see that good men do not behave this way. But I still have this feeling that it was me. That he is all of a sudden going to be a perfect boyfriend now and never be moody or lie or cheat ever again.

I guess that is ludicrous.

OP posts: