Relate

[Katsma]

Can I pick your brains? Has anyone tried Relate counselling? Have made the first step of calling them, they said that everyone pays different amounts - whatever they can afford. How much did you pay? (am broke!)
Also, has anyone tried improving their relationship with the help of a book? If so, which one proved good/bad for you?
Hoping to make things better in 2007!

I think I read that £40 is average? Might just be imagining that though! Ill be watching with intrest, as DH and I might try Relate. xXx

we paid £40 which is what they ask for, but it is a sliding scale and they told us and said is that alright and we said yes, but I guess if you said no they would ask how much you could afford.

I can't recommend it enough - I have said on here a lot of times that it saved our marriage - his bags were virtually packed but 6 months later we are very close and things feel a lot more stable. Arguments still happen but they are not as deep or cutting as before, and there is a deeper feeling of underlying genuine love between us that I never felt before.

I looked at a few books first - here is the amazon link and here is relate

ask me anything you like. If you want to I can send you 'staying together'.

Thanks DT, sounds like it's worked for you. Am worried that it'd just end up as a slanging match, bringing up loads of different issues, yet not resolving any of them! This is how our discussions always end up. I am hoping that the counseller would have skills to keep us on track?!
Have checked out those links, thanks. Could be a cheaper way of doing it!

I posted this on a similar thread yesterday, but I had bad experience with Relate, but a fab experience with a private counsellor through Brit Assoc of Counselling and Psychotherapy - details about counsellors say whether they do couples counselling and give fees.

I have read various self-help type books, but never have had any success getting partners to!

Great link - thankyou! Sorry to hijack.

I had very good experience with Relate on my own, much less good with partner. Much easier to be honest on my own - when we went together I felt more of a need to be seen to be trying to hold the relationship together. I would recommend a session or two on your own first - both of you if you can make it happen. When you go together the counsellor will make sure you absolutely do not descend into a slanging match.

You pay according to your means - they will see you and help you whether you can pay or not. If you don't get on with your counsellor then you can ask to switch to a different one. If you can go midday and midweek you will get a quicker appointment.

Most useful book for me was 'too good to go too bad to stay' (or something very like that). Only needed to read the first chapter though! Depends what the issues in your relationship are.