The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Battling The Wicked Wine Witch, One Day At A Time!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse, one of the Babes who have been on this lovely, rickety bus called Gerald for some time now!

There's no judgy pants worn on this bus, nor hoking of bosoms!! It's filled with every day life, love and laundry. As simple as that. The rest falls in between.

We're a welcoming, supporting thread, filled with a mine of information from many years of experience, from those who have consumed alcohol day in, day out...hidden the 'habit', the lie, disguised our drinking with many an excuse. So perfected over the years or new to the guilt of drinking more than you think you should.....

Anyway, old or new, lurker or not, come and say hello to us if you feel the need. We'd love to meet you if we haven't already :)

Thank you for reading this, find a seat, hide green opal fruits if you find any, they're like gold dust around here! Aren't they ma!!

See you soon, I hope.

Mouse x

And, if you'd like to see where we all began, sit with a cup of tea/coffee and have a peek at this - the beginning

And our latest thread that will take you back to many others enjoy your read!

If you want something to do hope download the App Little Alchemy, as recommended on another thread. I have made 105 things and it is seriously addictive
I've had wine today but now in bed with tea and my wheezy lungs

I went for dinner and I drank. Finished the white that is my preference and had a red as there was nothing left - I lose all clarity two glasses in.

I've downloaded sober revolution, has anyone else read it ?

Hi whoops - I've not read that book but just wanted to add my welcome to you. It is good to observe and notice your habits and patterns - drinking a drink that you don't really like, just because that is all there is - it's all awareness, and that is a good place to start.

looking when dd went veggi I determined that she would actually eat VEGETABLES - so many eat cereal for breakfast, sandwich and crisps for lunch then pizza for tea - just carbs really. So we agreed that if meat-eaters had to eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, then vegetarians should have 7 portions per day. Also she agreed to eat fish, which was a big help for family meals.

ma sleep well x

Ma hope you're feeling better now? We also had key lime pie for Easter, although had salmon (cause of DDs vegetarian) but I sorely miss a lovely roast lamb!

I am listening to Vaughan Williams and re-reading wishs post about Easter, and for some reason it is making me cry, I'm not religious but feel all emotional right now.

Will go and look at the alchemy app

Hi - longtime lurker here - I've been meaning and meaning to write. However, it's not my own story that brings me here tonight, but the fact that I have been following your story, special, and I've been thinking about you all the time since your most recent posts, with love and concern and hope for you. I have been exactly where you are - I can sympathise so much with that feeling of just wanting to drink to oblivion. I am very glad you have people in real life who love you and will step in to help you. And please keep posting and relying on the love and support of the amazing women on here (whose words have helped me so much in all the lurking I've done since I found this thread). Sending hugs to you tonight, special - and to all the rest of you as well.

My name is wry and I am 36 days in. I'll not lie, it's been hard, and I hit rock bottom. Like they say, you can only go up from there.

hope your last note to me was so lovely, I'm sorry I didn't answer because I couldn't bear to let you know what a fucking awful shit of a person I am. When I let my rescue boy go, it wasn't how you thought. How I wish it had been different. The behaviourists (two separate opinions) said he couldn't be rehomed safely. He would always have to be muzzled, never allowed off lead, contained safely when other people were in the house etc, etc.

My vet thought he had a major medical issue, a possible brain lesion. I let him go, as I said, calmly, with a bosie and love. But I let him go. I couldn't bear the thought of him doing it again, to me or to someone else, and being dragged away by officials with dog catcher poles. I couldn't bear for him to be scared and thrown in a kennel. He's back home with me, nestled between Little and Gentle. I am pleased he found me when he did, I will never, ever regret trying, but oh my heart. My heart. It is far more scarred than my body.

And I am sobbing again, the pain and guilt will never go. I feel like I failed. But he is at peace. Whatever ailed him, or scared him, he is at peace. And he is home.

For those who don't know me, please don't think badly of me, I did not do it lightly. Gentle and Little lived long and happy lives, Little was a rescue who had been badly beaten and with time, love and patience she grew up to be one in a million. I wanted him to have the same chance so badly.

Months have gone by, and with Spring, it is a time for hope. And so I would like you all to meet someone. (I've just had a look through all your photos!) She has breathed life, joy and some peace into my life again. And a reason to look forward. Getting up for toilet training duties meant not having one or two in case I sleep through. She is kicking the awd witch's saggy arse, one pee at a time.

The daffodils are out down the river. Even after our floods they made it through. They may have been lifted out of their comfort zones, they may be springing up in the most unlikely places, but they are shining their golden heads despite everything. It made me think of you lovely lot on the bus. Shining. Speaking for myself, I probably could do with a dab of Brasso and a chamois. But I sang to her today down the riverbank, like I used to with Little. Judy Garland's The Trolley Song and Sia's Alive.

She gave me the same shitey look Little used to. And so it goes on. Life. A reminder to grab it wi both hands lest it slip through my fingers.

Missed you, shiny bosies to you all,

Wry xx ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((andsqueeeeeeeeze))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Wry she is absolutely gorgeous Pretty girl. I am so sorry that you've been thru the mill & back. Difficult choices you had to make but I think u know it was the best one. Like u say he's with your brood now looking after your baby girl & guiding her from afar and all rolling their eyes at your singing Huge well done on your AF days that is a massive achievement after such an emotional roller coaster. Lovely to have you back, I so hope you stick around, we've all missed you
Big storm down south, I've woken up to windows bashing with wind & rain ho hum, time for another cuppa me thinks. Big love Wry xxxxxxxx

wry!!!! < galumph up the bus to give wry a huge t'interbosie ! Good grief woman, you've been missed. So sorry to hear about rescue dog. Please be proud of yourself for giving him love and peace. There is no greater gift. What is the name of your new 4 legged friend? And bloody well done on the AF days. Och, woman, it's SO good to have you back.
genie it's always lovely when a lurker checks in. I think we don't realise just how many people follow the loonies on this bus and can relate to our struggles. Thanks for popping in. I'm awake early - just coughed up an entire lung - so would you be a love and put the kettle on?

kettle is on for you ma and for anyone else who is up early with the lurgy (very sorry about yours) and/or the wild weather.
Today I am nine weeks sober. That is longer - by a matter of several weeks - than I have been sober since my teenager was born. I too hit rock bottom, wry. Your new pup is gorgeous by the way!

Welcome Genie sorry missed you there (making most of bunnies!!!!) As a lurker, you know you're in the right place. Well done on your AF days, awesome

Ma hope your 'Do' was a good one, I expect you looked stunning in your frock hope you feel better soon x

Special just in case you're still reading to you lovely, come back when you can. Take all the help & support being offered to you. You are an amazing woman

Isinde where the devil are you?

Mouse your pooch is so handsome hugs to you lovely one x

Pop hope moving prep is going smoothly

Margie you ok lovely?

Sweet how's the research going? Your garden must be blooming

Fox honey are you out there? X

Beaches love to you as always flower. How are you? Mwah

Wry it is truly lovely to see you again chuck

All ok in Spannaworld, oddly keep having urges for a cold glass of fizz not sure there's a pattern just 'moments' the sooner the craving's there, the sooner it's gone again. I don't feel quite as empty & bored without the booze now, it has meant dealing with a shit ton of emotional baggage though, which has been exhausting

Got to get up for work (booooo) visit a lady for an hour & then supposed to be going into work but I've heard that the person I've whistleblown has gone off work due to stress & a problem with me FFS, only supposed to be working for 4 hours but I really can't be arsed, as I have rest of the week off from there! It's a funny old life

Have a good day everyone x

ma coughing on this side of the water too - hope you're better soon.

genie lovely to see a post from a lurker, and how generous of you to post to support special In all of this long journey there are some posts that touch each of us (and probably all different ones) and it is so wonderful to see people not getting a right pasting, as they might on some other threads. I think special had posted elsewhere over the weekend about her sadness/difficulty re her husband's illness and there were some horrible responses to her Thank goodness for this kind place.

and WRY how lovely to see a post from you. You know there is always a welcome here, no matter how long it is since you have posted, or what has gone on in the meantime. It was lovely to read your posts and to feel that dry wry sense of humour again ("a dab of Brasso and a chamois" ). You are doing such a wonderful act of service and love for those doggies. It made me think of this... written by Bob Marley:

"You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile, and your hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Hi genie, welcome to the bus and well done on your fantastic nine weeks. Keep your eyes open for Isinde as she has the conducter's bag with the nonreturnable bus tickets.

Welcome back to wry too. It sounds like you've been there and back and now it's time for some lovely healing

whoops this weekend I had a glass of what used to be my favourite white wine from the local shop (cheap enough to buy often but not the cheapest). Anyway, it tasted horrible. I chucked the rest down the sink as I didn't want to drink for the sake of it. But I now realise that I never actually drank for the taste, just to get that 'fuzzy' feeling. And the fuzzy feeling always made me ill the next day so I had to knock it on the head.

I've decided to do another whole month dry so I'm doing Dry April if anyone wants to join me. When I did my first Dry January I found it easier to just take a month off, to detox, to get my diet on the right track and just take the opportunity to give my liver a good break, rehydrate, nourish my skin, etc. It was quite hard and I had a couple of blips but on the whole I felt so much better for it. The next Dry January I sailed through and did the whole month. After that I've regularly given myself the gift of a whole month dry. It's a lovely treat and definiely doable if I commit to it

Definitely needed after chocolate overload this weekend too

Btw this is coming from the woman who struggled to get through one day to start with. Many, many, many false starts and lots of falling off the bus later I am loving all the AF days. Anyone can do it, it really is achieveable as long as you don't ever give up trying.

Ma shall we install a steam room at the back of the bus and you can invite the lovely Derek to soothe us all with his magic hands. Or would we frighten him off

Hi to joey and spanna and venus and hope and anyone else I've missed. Margie are you lurking? Made how are things with you, did you go home for Easter break? I hope you let us know how you're doing if you get a chance. My dd is home from uni at the moment, many of us mothers will be wondering about you x

WRY !!!!!!!! . How wonderful to have you back! And with your lovely new friend! I don't think badly of you at all, of course not. You did your best. And now 36 AF days. You are a (rummages round to find the smock of smug for Wry)

Genie nice to meet you, Spanna, you've got our storm, it was crazy hail here yesterday, and Ma, hope you feel better soon but meanwhile stop getting bits of lung on the seats

Boring day today ironing, cooking (sigh). Hate domestic stuff. Might do some exercise. Busy week at work next week but am up for it. Realising that the worst thing for me about being out of work (besides not being able to pay the bills) would be being stuck at home with WB. Oh dear. Perhaps a networking session on LinkedIn beckons too in advance of contract ending in September . Enjoy the bank holiday all xxx

hope maybe you and ma could set up your own business, you two would rock!

Faire I know!!!!! How fab would that be? Could call it Mad Women. Like Mad Men but with a bus and without the excessive outfits. Anyone want to join us? Venus you can mentor us . Right WB has gone out (yay!!!!!) So me and kids can get on with the day without his grumpy presence. See you babes later xxx

Ooh, what kind of business? Could it involve soldiers? I'm rather partial to a chap in uniform.... Hope to have some nice photos of our awards do soon so might let you all have a little peek! Am spending today painting the bathroom ceiling in fits and starts as have very little energy. Have no idea what this week will bring job wise so will just have to take each day as it comes I suppose.
I think a massage room and the lovely Derek would be just the thing. Had a massage there not long ago and hadn't seen him in a while so was surprised to see the new, huge hipster beard. In a full waiting room, he stuck his head round the door to call a client and I said " Derek! Facial hair alert!"to which with exquisite timing he replied "Oh, like you can talk. Let's not go there sweetie!"
Entire room was either shocked or corpsed!

Many thanks for the nice words and welcome everyone. It's nice to meet some of you in person. I look forward to meeting Isinde with those nonreturnable tickets. Wishing you all a lovely Easter Monday.

Such a busy thread! Excuse me for not referring to everyone by name will take a while for me to catch up and get to know people!

Bank holiday weekend a v bad time to start thinking about my alcohol intake - out again this afternoon - I really DO NOT want a hangover tomorrow

Whoops welcome Could you start with a tall AF glass of something really refreshing, then think about whether you want a drink? Quench your thirst, so to speak! I hope you have a lovely afternoon

Ah ma. (((((((specialthistleheidedbosie)))))))) You are too late hiding them m'dear. My wee Fanny can sniff oot a green Opal Fruit like a pig truffling. (her name is not really Fanny but for some reason everyone calls her FannyAnn as she has deep set bits which need a damp flannel after she has a pee). It may stick. Not the flannel. The nickname.

hope that WB is still giving you grief. Glad you got rid of him a while so you could enjoy your Monday. Chuck your ironing this way, I love an iron while catching up with a Columbo. Or Dance Moms. (I know. I'm possibly getting too highbrow with me viewing). I hope the storm settled so you got a bit of sunshine. I think a you and ma venture would fly. I'd buy shares in it.

venus How are you? I must read back, I feel like I've missed so much...Thank you for the quote, Bob got that bob on. That is exactly how I feel. You would make a grand mentor for Madwomen Inc. You just get it. Always have.

spann I must read back, I'm sorry I'm not up to speed. Are you okay? that sounds like some nasty shit you are dealing with, what on earth happened? Hold your head up like a daffy, how could anyone say they have a problem with you? I'll nae have it. Have you anything nice planned for the rest of the week?

Faire count me in for Dry April. The welfare of Fanny's bits depend on it. And I'm sore in need of a skin plump.

Whoops how did you do today? You okay? Have a bosie, and a brew.

Genie a t'interbosie for you too, weel done on your 9 weeks! That gorgeous pup of mine is now spitting bits of snail shell all over my clean tiles.

joey You there? I've brought a sweet smelling bale, come and sit ye doon beside me to talk horse. I'm back in the saddle again. Literally and metaphorically. We could be mounted security for Madwomen. Security gets to do all the frisking. Like ma said, there could even be Men In Uniform. I have a sniffer dog. I'm set.

crabby give me your pincer my friend. The fat one. It's me favourite for a hand hold and I've missed it. I'll trade ye that for a bosie.

Just finished watching Guy Martin do the wall of death. No need for frisking in those leathers. They were a bit tight like. It's Spring. He fair fanned his tail. My word.

Away for a read back, tho might not get too far tonight, we had a busy Bank Holiday and my eyes are shutting a bit. My furry monoslipper is snoring at my feet and it's catching.

Ah it's grand to be sitting on the bus again. I can feel myself starting to coorie down all comfy like.

I'm going to post this before I lose it, just in case. Night night all. xx

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags. I lost a paragraph. joey's has disappeared and merged with baby's.

< dusts Joey down a bit>. I'd give you a wet wipe but I'm all about the flannels at the mo and you won't want to wipe your hands on that. How are you petal? You okay?

baby Must remember to preview. Must remember to preview. Must remember to preview. I rode through a snowdrop wood last weekend. So pretty. Pooch stayed with my pal and Aga surfed. I'd love to get a saddle basket to sit her in and take her with me. We are getting her used to the Sheltie before she meets the big uns. Are you back riding again? Are you keeping fine?

Night night take 2, xx

Hi all, and a belated happy Easter! I've worked yesterday and today but so glad I had Friday off to enjoy the sun (storms last night here were impressive!).

I've come to the realisation that I just can't moderate. When I first started trying to I think there was a kind of novelty that made it easier, but in reality it's not happening. I'm also realising that if I think in terms of units the recommended limits make drinking pointless to me; I could down the weekly limit in a few hours and still want more, I can't imagine ever being satisfied with my one small glass of wine.

Not sure where this leaves me. Logically I should admit it all to GP and just get help to stop. At the very least I should try the odd AF day. But I'm in a weird place at the moment, not eating properly and drinking too much almost feels like an invisible form of self harm and I can't let it go. A couple of months ago I was trying really hard to optimise my nutrition and maintain weight despite lots of alcohol calories but at the moment that feels like self indulgence and I don't feel worth it.

Don't know what to do really. Going off sick from work would be awful as I wouldn't have anything left and would probably self destruct completely. I have a focus if I'm working and I have to be safe, so by default I have to eat and moderate. We are also struggling so much to manage with the staff we have and my colleagues are also under crazy amounts of pressure. But the stress and hours are insane (50 hours last week plus study time was fairly light), and I can't imagine carrying on like this for the next 30 or so years. I realise I'm treading an increasingly thin line and it scares me.

Sorry not to name check or give advice to anyone else, I realise I'm totally self absorbed tonight. I will try and catch up on the thread tomorrow. Xxx

Elba I am new here and so while I've read huge parts of this thread I don't know your entire story. Your job sounds incredibly stressful and demanding, and for me anyway drinking has often been an outlet for (expression of?) stress, exhaustion, frustration etc. Of course it's ironic that the aftereffect of drinking is more stress, exhaustion, etc due to poor sleep, generally not feeling well, etc. Anyway, I am another who just can't moderate. That's why I feel every day as if my sobriety is fragile: I realise that if I let myself have "just one", then away I'll go, today and tomorrow and the day after that, on and on. I will never be that person who can have just one small glass. Drinking has definitely been secret self-harm and self-destructiveness. For me, the best thing about stopping - knock wood a million times here - has been new energy, well-being, and self respect, and the realisation that I am not hurting myself anymore.

thank you wry. My pups have enormous appetites for anything they shouldn't eat - they just did some good work on a buffet of rabbit poo out in the garden. Snails are an hors d'oeuvre.

Morning, tis me, Mouse :)

Just a quick post to say that I'll keep my eye on the thread and post the new one as soon as we need it so worry not gorgeous Babes, all will be fine & dandy.

Have good days back to work those who are having to do so.

Mouse xx