What does it mean when he acts very interested then very not interested?

[outlookfoggy]

My new boyfriend acts very interested, extremely interested and then acts very not interested and back and forth.

It's made me feel anxious.

Why does he do this?

[spudlike1]

Do whatever suits you , but get him out of your life .
What he thinks is irrelevant.

[outlookfoggy]

Is this behaviour emotional abuse?

[AnyFucker]

yes

[outlookfoggy]

I didn't realise.

Well. What I did was this. Sent him a very brief text last night that said "Sorry, I've decided to see other people" and then blocked him on Facebook and whatsapp. Went out and had a drink with soneone else and quite a nice snog. Maybe childish but cheered me up after feeling rejected.

I did feel better after as I've been on and off feeling highs and lows for a few months and trying harder and harder to compensate.

Thanks for the advice. I wish I'd done it months ago and stuck to it

[SoleBizzz]

That is brill! Never ever have contact with him again. No matter what. Really proud of you. He is not good enough for you in anyway shape or Form.

[AnyFucker]

yay

[spudlike1]

[SoThatHappened]

I think this is true. What happens to these men I wonder? Hot and cold is very much a manipulative, abusive power play beloved of commitment phobe types.

Do they meet someone they are interested in and are 100% hot? Or are they all inherently emotionally abusive - so blow hot enough to get the woman sucked into a marriage and then start having affairs once they have a wife tied up with a marriage and children?

I think these guys do it eventually with everyone. They are hot and cold from the start with people they are not that interested in. I think they can be 100% hot with someone from the start but then become hot/cold later on when they are bored or want to cheat.

Good for you OP for getting rid.

[Claraoswald36]

Well done op - stamp reject!

[jaykay34]

He's probably in two minds about you and keeping his options open. I expect he "quite" likes you and is keeping you there incase you are "the one", but deep down has massive doubts and is probably stringing a load of other women along too.

I used to see a guy exactly like the one you described - I met him when I was pretty vulnerable. In the early days he had been really over keen, and I bought every word. Then he started blowing hot and cold and I realised he was seeing loads of women and feed them all the bullshit he fed me.

When I started ignoring him, he kept messaging me asking what was wrong and why didn't I want to know him anymore. . It was difficult to be strong, but I completely blew him out and moved on.

The best thing to do is get rid of him. He won't change. You deserve more and won't find happiness with him.