Kicking a child

[WinkyWinkola]

I had a call from SIL yesterday, ranting about her mother.

SIL's DS who is 8, was misbehaving and kicked his grandmother. She kicked him back in the stomach. She wouldn't apologise, saying he'd kicked her and he could expect nothing less as a result.

The child (child being the operative word here) has just had open heart surgery 4 weeks ago.

When I told DH about this he said he wanted to hear his mother's side of the story before he made any judgement. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He just says that the child shouldn't have kicked his grandmother and if any child of his did that then he would send him/her to their room. WTF? Missing the point or what.

Anyway, there is no way I'll ever leave my children in the care of someone who thinks it's ok to kick kids, whatever they've done. DH doesn't agree. I think he's barmy. He thinks I'm over reacting. Am I? To me, it's a clear case of Q.E.D. - she's simply not a responsible adult.

Oh, sorry MP, are we calling the OP a liar? I hadn't realised

yes kid - I agrre with your post, the GM should ahve talked things out wiht the boy - not kicked him and 'proudly' announced what she'd done. all that's teaching the boy is it's ok to retaliate with violence if you are shown it - something I don't wish my son to ever learn that's for sure.

I would'n call the OP a lier but I do think the truth may have been lost in translation as the story is quite shocking if true.

Not agreeing to hear out the GM first hand is where she is going wrong IMO.

the GM kicked her 8 year old GS - it is wrong full stop. and can we stop talking about calling the police over an 8 year old kicking his bloody horrid GM...please? It is ridiculous

I love this talk (or rather people's assumptions) of the poor frail old grandmother... 'oh she seems very agile etc', my mother is 50 and perfect fit and agile and I am sure she will be for years to come, her mother is also still pretty agile.

The grandmother is in the wrong. She should NOT have retaliated, of course it was a terrible thing for grandson to do but are we remembering the open heart surgery here and more importantly who is the child and who is the adult????

Also, of course an eight year old doesn't have to be lying down to be kicked in the stomach, unless he is a towering giant. (And no I do not kick eight years but had many play fights with siblings)

She sounds horrendous WinkyWinkola.

None of know what happened but I CAN imagine something happening as UCM suggested. SIL's story went from a kick in the stomach when she was out of the room to "having to separate them" so it sounds to me like the story is convoluted somewhere along the line. And as you have been leaving your children in her care until now, I assume you didn't think she was likely to be attacking a child sufficiently to need another adult to separate them.

In your OP you said you couldn't believe that your DH wanted to hear his mother's side of the story first. His response seems reasonable to me.

Have you spoken to the grandmother or have you just spoken to your SIL?

WW, is your SIL going to allow the Grandmother to have contact with the boy again?

Hmmm, I see your point MP. I do hope you're right and the kick in the stomach didn't happen. Better a lying little sod covering his own arse than an adult assaulting a child four weeks after major surgery. Says I

It all sounds a bit mad to me though, I would give them a wide berth for a while personally.

I agree with that Greensleeves

I would give them a VERY wide berth, they all sound as mad as a box of frogs

However, I hope you enjoy your three-day stay starting tomorrow Winky

I agree with LittleSarah re the frailness of the Granny. My Mum's 54 and fitter than me, she recently did the Edinburgh Moonwalk. My Dad's the same age with a manual job and equally fit. People in their 50's are not elderly.

If it's true that Granny kicked the little boy it's completely outrageous and unacceptable and someone capable of doing that would not be allowed access to my children. However, I would be careful to establish the facts before going in all guns blazing. It's not unreasonable for the op's dh to want to talk to his mother about what happened before doing anything.

The OP hasn't spoken to the Grandmother - only her SIL

maybe your dh has a suspicion that his sister may be exaggerating events or something and thats why he wants to hear his mothers side before the two of you decide whether to do anything?

No one has the right to discipline a child other than the parents.

I had a grandmother that was a mean old witch and when she died no one shed a tear. I can totally see how a grandmother can "discipline" a child in that way, because compared to my grandmother she sounds wonderful.

An update.

DH managed to piece together the story from both parties.

They were sitting on the floor, playing the kid's new Cranium game around the coffee table. Kid got narked over something, kicked GM, launched himself at her, knocking her flat. She got her knee to his chest and pushed him off her and then kicked him again but on the leg, not the chest. Lovely incident.

And one thing I've learned from this is to simply stay away from DH's side of the family as much as possible. I feel manipulated to be honest.