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Original poster

Festive family fury.? Don't bottle it up. Let it all out here.

124 replies

Mincepiedermama · 20/12/2006 14:24

Families and Christmas eh?

What have they done?
How has it left you feeling?
How do you plan to move on from here?

So far I've had the usual torrent of advice from my MIL mixed with observations about our handling of ds's diabetes. (She knows nothing about diabetes. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!)

Got that feels a little better but there's more to come.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 20/12/2006 15:43

Well I think she will react badly but I am going to put the spin on it that my parents stay there(which they have done) as it is much more comfortable. And she can have her own room and privacy and toilet and make tea early in the morning with disturbing us.
And it is a lovely suprise and a gift because the (wealthy) old cow is too mean to even think of paying for herself.

I have no intention of letting the old cow spoil everyones christmas. As it is dsd wont come near our house when her grandmother is here because she was so bloody rude to her bf who is half Zimbabwean earlier on in the year. She wouldn't speak to him and left the room because he is black FFS. I wasn't here, if I was she would have had her marching orders.

Anyway this is all of our Christmas and whilst I am going to be very welcoming to her if she behaves, at the first sign of trouble she can go back to the hotel.

giddy1 · 20/12/2006 15:57

Message deleted

Original poster
Mincepiedermama · 20/12/2006 15:58

CarolTheAncientYuletideTroll your MIL sounds a real pain. I hate it when the grandparents can't be bothered with their grandchildren. I spend many a jealous moment eyeing other old folk doing school runs, helping out at the christmas fayre and generally enjoying time with the grandchildren.

Last time my mum came she ended up sitting at the dinner table with her fingers in her ears and my ds(4) saying, 'Mum, doesn't Granny like us?'.

OP posts:
NOELallie · 20/12/2006 16:02

carmenere - she will love it so much she won't want to do anything else from now on! She will sulk a little to start with but not for long.... My bro and his wife did that with my parents a few years ago (not for christmas though) and they were a little miffed to start with but preferred it in the end. Mum pretended that she only preferred it 'cos it made it easier on SIL.... yeah right...

Original poster
Mincepiedermama · 20/12/2006 16:02

Oh yes, and before she went my MIL, thinking my 4 year old ds was looking a little peaky, sat with him and compiled a list of all his favourite foods then put it up on the wall and told me and dh to make sure we prepared food from the list if we want him to get better. (He's got a cough.)

So every time I dished up ds was looking at his plate and saying 'That's not on my list. Oma says I should have ... etc' Well yesterday I put the list in the bin and said to him, 'It's not my list. It's Oma's and she's not here to cook from it so you eat what I cook or you make do with bread and butter'.
I was feeling particularly festive you see.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mincepiedermama · 20/12/2006 16:04

Two weeks liahohoho? OMG. You'd better get plenty of festive booze in. I wish you all the best.

OP posts:
KTreePee · 20/12/2006 16:10

This makes me so glad we are spending Christmas on our own apart from friends dropping

KTreePee · 20/12/2006 16:11

"Dropping in" I meant to say

Original poster
Mincepiedermama · 20/12/2006 16:13

PMSL @ 'Christmas makes my blood boil' Dizzy. What a fantastic quote.

My MIL is also overly cojncerned about her getting her tacky clothes dirty by touching my kids. Even walking into my house makes her feel at risk from typhoid and bubonic plague.

She knows she's coming to visit four young children and yet she brings all sorts of ironed, silky, floaty things and hangs them up all over the sitting room then bars my children entry from their own sitting room.

Then she tries to make us all say grace - In my secular household.

My mum's no better. She's on the winge again because she reckons she caught an eye infection at my house. I wouldn't mind but it's not my fault. I didn't sneak into her room in the night and infect her. If she will live as a hermit -- of course she leaves herself open to these things.

She's at my brothers for Christmas this year thank fuck. That's thanks to a well timed fall out I had with her earlier on in the year at the Christmas planning stage. I can thouroughly recommend this method.

OP posts:
liatHoHoHo · 20/12/2006 16:15

But mincepiedermama I caan't even driiiiiink. Am up the duff. TBH she's not that bad & I wouldn't swap her for some of the horrors on this thread but two weeks is a long time. I told Dh if he didn't take some annual leave I'd divorce him !

giddy1 · 20/12/2006 18:24

Message deleted

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 20/12/2006 18:43

Spidermama, have just sprayed all over the keyboard picturing your face during the saying of Grace at your resolutely secular Christmas dinner table

This time next month, we'll all be laughing about it

Original poster
Mincepiedermama · 20/12/2006 18:46

I can only laugh about it a teeny bit so far and even that has a false and hollow ring. In a few weeks, when it's all behind us .... (big breath out)

OP posts:
worleywinterwonderland · 21/12/2006 11:31

can i boast that my mil has gone away for xmas !!! i was dreading her coming round but she has decided she will go stay with her daughter this year-- who isnt even her dughter, just a friend who seems to have attached herself to mil much to the annoyance of my dp and his brother. but works to my advantage, she has only seen ds2 3times, (he is six months and she lives half a mile down the road) as its too far to travel, yet she is managing to drive the 200 miles to her "daughter"

instead we have my parents sulking as we are having a quiet xmas at home and not going to them for dinner. my dad wont eat at our house, im not up to his scratch! oh well, am i bovvered

choosyfloosy · 21/12/2006 11:38

My dad is spending about 90% of his time with his girlfriend at the moment, i.e. NO DAD AT CHRISTMAS for the first time in my life. If I knew her address I'd send her a Ferrari with a big bow on it.

DetentionGrrrl · 21/12/2006 13:08

I've told everyone to leave us alone Xmas Day this year, so i have no relatives to deal with

Have also instructed everyone that they can visit US Xmas Eve / Boxing Day for a change, so i don't have to go anywhere

I know this doesn't belong in this thread, but i am chuffed at how strong i've been this year

morningpaper · 21/12/2006 13:17

I have MIL with us for 5 days.

She doesn't EAT. It's frustrating. I wouldn't mind her sitting on the sofa staring all the time but taking no pleasure from FOOD makes me feel rejected. She can't eat anything except plain white meat and a few vegetables and white bread. So I can't COOK properly which is such an important part of being hospitable for me.

She also has a habit of washing and drying stuff and then leaving it in random piles in the kitchen "because she doesn't know where it goes." I don't know why this irritates me so much, but it makes me want to stab everyone with the pickle forks.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 21/12/2006 14:46

morningpaper you have pickle forks . I am impressed LOL.

DarrellRivers · 21/12/2006 14:55

Right, I haveBAD BAD PMT so here is my christmas rant regarding a situation which up until this point has been amusing.

We are going to PILs on Christmas day who do not eat meat on a monday, will not be eating Christmas dinner at all, and will not have any christmas decorations up (no point, we're having a quiet Christmas ) as my SIL and her 2 children who live with then normally are not going to be there (they are currently abroad with her mum)
Can't come to my house for the whole monty as BIL is due to fly on Christmas Day pm to join his wife and children at his ILs.
Currently DH is in Germany due to fly back Friday evening, but may not make it if heavy fog cancels his flight.
Bah Humbug all round quite franklly.
Have plans for a fully festive christmas eve, christmas day morning and evening around my house, just need to get over this ridiculaous visit to my ILs at lunchtimefor no festive fun at all
Feel a little better now , might go and shout a few obscenities at a random passer by, and then retire to bed to eat chocolate

Sherbert37 · 21/12/2006 15:05

Yes my MIL also doesn't 'put away' MP, despite visiting four times a year every year for 15 years. Equally, she 'cannot' use my oven and has never once made me a cup of tea (but once made one for the builders as that is what you do for tradesmen). Just sits there staring at us all, making mental notes and looking like fizz. She may not get here this year if the fog I ordered persists...

giddy1 · 21/12/2006 15:17

Message deleted

mamijacacalys · 21/12/2006 15:19

Am with DetentionGrrrl.

We are staying put on the day - they can come to us if they like, after all we have the 5-month old and the 4 yo, so is logistically far easier for them.

But none of the outlaws are anything as bad as some of those described here....

happystory · 21/12/2006 16:34

giddy that's so

deegward · 21/12/2006 16:40

Can I join in here?

Invited inlaws to spend Christmas with us in October, they said no going to sils (no kids). But they will be about 50 miles away as normally 500 miles away. They kept saying just to say when to come to us, as they had no plans. Yesterday invited them for Boxing day,.... one line e mail, sorry Boxing day all booked up!

Feel sick as keep asking them to do things and keep getting knocked back, had enough, now send e mail back saying perhaps you can tell us when isn't all booked up so we can see you.

dss are 6 & 3 and can't work out why not seeing grandparents!

spinasnowflake · 21/12/2006 16:43

i'm already looking forward to NEXT year as I've stated it's just going to be US(ie DH,me,DS1 and the DS2(who's due on Xmas day this yr!)

However this yr,I'm spending my DUE DATE with all my ILs.In fact I'm spending a whole week with them and NONE of my (original!)family MIL is technically "lovely" but is totally taking over and we've invited them to us[anger] I know it's great to have the help, but all DH and I want is to do a quiet Xmas and it's being turned into a TOTAL nightmare. My BIL and his stagnant girlfriend are also coming. How I can be simutaniously stressed by the over activity of one IL (MIL) and the inactivity of other IL(BIL and girlfriend) is beyound me. You'd think it should cancel itself out!!!

I don't think I can deal with spending yet another Xmas with them. (had to endure that last year) And I can't yet drunk as even if the little guy turns up before Xmas,the level of intoxication to get me through the week is not in keeping with responsible parenting of a newbie.

Thanks. That feels better.