Whatever his situation is or isn't, I do believe he has to sort it out himself -probably over months or years before he is emotionally available to be a boyfriend to anyone which is my point of ending the relaitonship.
I don't think he will meet someone else after I dump him, fall in love and live happily ever after. He's a mess.
I've never mooned over anyone whp didn't want me. I have dated people who weren't that into me and this is nothing like that. I have never chased after a man, never gone for broken men, never been drawn to wounded birds. I'm not the type so I'm not worried that I am reading into it more than is there.
I feel, deep in my gut that we are rigth for each other and would / could make each other really happy but not now.
Maybe never. You're right. Maybe he does need a fuckton of therapy. It's something we have dicussed. He seems in a total tizz.
There he was all these years wanting her like mad, he sees her and doesn't want her at all. Now she's casing after him like mad because she knows she's lost her "backup" plan and a part of him loves it. After all those years, the tables are turned.
I get it. Maybe you lot don't but I get it completely and I don't think it is 100% fully resolved in his head and don't want to hang around while it is becoming so.
I didn't say he loved me...I am sure I did not say that. I said he said he was falling for me and he didn't feel ready.
I do just think simply put that if we'd met a year later we'd be together and be really happy - that's all. Just right now I can't have a semi-relationship with someone who's in such a mess.
I feel like he has to clean house.
For what it's worth I got engaged to someone once, a few years back who worshipped the ground I walked on. I mean he really was in love with me and he raced into the relationship with me when he'd only been separated a few weeks from a 15 year marriage.
We stayed together for years - we were so in love and clicked and it was great but he'd definitely not grieved his divorce or anything else and grieving that had absolutely nothing to do with me or how much he loved me - it was just that he had not closed the previos chapter.
In the end , we split after years together and he said openly he wished he'd taken a year alone first to sort his head out because he would have been more open and comitted to me if he'd had that time.
I don't want to be anyone's rebound or to have half of someone. I just want him to be happy, healthy and have put the past to bed entirely if I am going to date him. If he hasn't done that I don't think it matter how much he likes me or doesn't