Urgent help

[Sonia2213]

My h grabbed my son by throat tonight left red marks I shouted at him cause he wouldn't go to bed he blamed me I was scared to say anything I'm at docs tomorrow with son fit different reason should I say

[ForeverFaithless]

Sonia if you are terrified of your H then you need all the help you can get to get rid of him out of your life. Do not minimise this just because your son can get up and go to school today, it's obvious that your H is a real danger to him.

You drinking some wine or shouting at your son has no relation to your H choosing to use the worst level of violence possible against your son.

It is obvious your H is going to lie and try to implicate you. It doesn't matter, if you speak only the truth then you will be believed and helped to get rid of this nasty man.

When it happened to my son I went to the family court the next day and applied for a barring order, I was granted a protection order.

The police and Women's Aid will help you to protect your children.

[LucylucyD43]

It's more worrying that your DS hadn't mentioned it. You are normalising it!

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP, it must be very scary for you.

Can you try to look at the situation from an outside point of view (easier said that done, I know)? If a friend of yours was living with a man who had physically abused her in the past, had a violent temper and had now started to physically abuse her 7 year old child - what would you say to her?

Would you tell her to leave, throw him out, go to the Police? Because I think most people would say that.

You must protect your children. You really can't view this as a one-off incident can you?

[Strangeoccurence]

How are you, OP? Have you thought any more about which course of action you are going to take?

[AnotherStitchInTime]

If you feel comfortable going to the shop and phoning the HV then do that. Does HV have a clinic/office near by that you could go to?

[Jibberjabberjooo]

Of course you can ring the hv, it's part of their job. Please tell someone.

[Lweji]

FGS, stop thinking how it might reflect on you and start thinking how frightened your child must have been last night.
How he'll start thinking he deserves it.
And how he will blame you in future. Because he will blame you for failing to protect him.

I may be accused of being unduly harsh, but your son needs someone who is on his side.

You can do this and you can get rid of him.
But you have to act.

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Are you OK sonia? Have you phoned the HV?

[AnotherStitchInTime]

I wanted to link this thread that was posting at the same time as your's last night to show you that Police do take DV seriously and even more so when the attack is on a child.

You can report this and keep your children and yourself safe from him.

[ForeverFaithless]

Sonia, your little boy must feel so hurt and confused right now, even if there are no outward physical signs.

I hope you are taking steps to protect him and your baby.

Honestly I feel so sad for him.

[YetAnotherHelenMumsnet]

Evening all,
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time Sonia, we are posting a link to our domestic violence page, which has some numbers that you should perhaps consider calling. www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence
All the best to you, take care.

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Still thinking of you Sonia and still here if you need support.