If someone says 'I love you/you're my everything/I can't imagine life without you"...

[ReySolo]

After one month of frequent dating, what would you think?

(Context: know them through a mutual friend who has 'vouched' for them being nice etc, known as an aquaintance for a few years, only other sligt red flag is potentially a bit casually sexist/unaware/laddy etc).

When I confronted him before it was hard to get him to actually talk about it directly. He kept trying to make it a "But we've got so much in common/it'd be such a waste/I'm just an idiot/don't mind me etc" thing. I know it's nicer to do it in person/on the phone but I can see it being a disaster...

you can tell a lot about a man by how he talks about his exes.

I do think so Branleuse . I really dislike like my ex but if he ever does come up in conversation (rarely, thankfully) I try to word things tactfully. And I wouldn't put his behaviour down to him being male!

I'll tell you what would be a waste: dragging this out for the whole 4 months some of his exes gave him. There is no obligation on you to date someone who is "just an idiot". You could date a guy with, like, brains and stuff. All you have to say is "this isn't working for me". If he doesn't acknowledge that as sufficient reason to end a relationship then he's proved your point for you.

Yeah, what everyone else says, don't waste your time on this guy. You'll always be "the girlfriend", always (then "the wife"). You sound like a sensible person, someone who wants an actual equal, a partner. Men who make good partners don't do the Madonna/whore thing. He does, you are the Madonna right now, the exes are the whores. Guess what you'll be when it ends? And since you're educated you'll be some sort of up yourself arrogant whore.

Bet this guy won't get your tampax in an emergency ;-)

Ok it's been done. Slightly dreading any replies but I've muted everything

Well done :)

Couldn't resist a nosy... He's taken it ok all things considered. Phew. Think I need to just knuckle down and focus on all the million other things I'm juggling now

Thanks for the advice. I just needed some less biased opinions!

good for you x

Good for you

thanks

He didn't get a hold on you so he's should now just move on.
Well done op.

he

good to hear OP :) here's hoping you find someone who is actually nice

I think it depends on how long the relationship has been going and in what context. In your situation, it sounds weird and far far too soon.

My DH said similar a couple of years back. But we've been together 16 years, married for 15 and he has never worn his heart on his sleeve or been big on romantic gestures. But we had a really rough deal as a family, a kind of life affirming incident where one night his emotions got the better of him and he said similar. It meant a lot to me, coming from him. So, all about context.

Good, glad you've dumped him, best choice all round. Now you're free to find a decent bloke! (They do exist, promise)

I said to someone after one month of dating: Where have you been all my life and he said it back.

I meant it. I hadnt felt so strongly about someone before. Not necessarily a red flag.

Oh shit should have read the thread looks like he was dumped!

And run from someone who calls any woman a whore in future.
I don't think my ExH of 15 years or my current partner have even ever considered using that word.
It's vile.
Well done for ending things.

I've been with my husband for 32 years and can't imagine life without him. Never told him that though as it sounds a bit OTT.

I may be wrong about this, but I think that's the kind of sentiment that takes time to develop. To have it said to me after a month would make me twitchy.

You're my everything = meaningless and pushy.

Thanks.

All the other issues aside, saying someone who've only known a month is 'your everything' seems really unhealthy to me. I appreciate things can get intense and you can feel like you've known them for longer but I got a gut feeling that it was all a bit wrong and an attempt to force things a bit since I'd just almost finished it anyway over the innapropriate comments...