If someone says 'I love you/you're my everything/I can't imagine life without you"...

[ReySolo]

After one month of frequent dating, what would you think?

(Context: know them through a mutual friend who has 'vouched' for them being nice etc, known as an aquaintance for a few years, only other sligt red flag is potentially a bit casually sexist/unaware/laddy etc).

Ah, I see. Well that changes everything.

He seems more like a clueless kind of ok-hearted guy that's just a bit too laddy/casually misogynystic rather than an out and out bastard but it's still reaallllly intense considering how much we've seen each other and the fact that I've been taking it slow emotionally and not let on much about my feelings yet etc.

at armpits

After 5 weeks of dating? I'd feel smothered and run for the hills.

I did challenge him on those views. Which is when he said he'd tole me he was 'an idiot and here's the proof' etc and sort of said sorry. Then has been even more intense since because he was 'scared of losing what we had going'.

Rey presumably your feelings now are panic, and "how do I get out of this?"

He called a few exes whores

Good grief. There's no way I'd consider seeing this loser man again.

You are being love-bombed and set up to be hated further down the line.

Run as fast as you can!!!!

Hermione my main feelings since I got those messages was just that. He might have meant them earnestly. I don't know because it's been a month and I don't know him that well, naturally

Rey - if he'd been lovely in every way ( polite, respectful etc ) then the 'in love after one month' situation would have been wonderful, because I truly believe that can happen.
Of course no one is perfect & we all have our faults, but calling his ex's 'whores' would have been it for me.

I wouldn't want to be with any man who called women whores

He called his exes whores?!

Run, very fast!

I'm sure he thinks he means it...

That is somewhat irrelevant...

He called exes whores?

Nope.

Get out now.

He's an insecure misogynist... The most dangerous kind...

He won't need to imagine life without you because he will be living it.

If your friend has heard him talk about exes that way and still persists in her diamond in the rough then she needs some help in knowing what's acceptable behaviour or else she'll end up with another twat.

He sounds very emotionally immature and prone to copying what he hears in films or from friends.

He could be a diamond in the rough but do you want to spend time on the project?

Surfer I've been in one relationship (LT) where it all happened fast (albeit not this fast) but it felt entirely different and they'd not said anything that worried me/seemed a bit 'red flag' like. It felt a lot nicer overall and very mutual.

He said he called them whores because they cheated on him but I did still challenge him (because he actually called someone on the TV one too "jokingly" etc). It can be a joke and still be super offensive/reveal a lot about your attitude...

I didn't say anything in return besides 'can I have some time' but all I could think was 'You don't even know me, this isn't right' hmm

Your instincts are good here. He doesn't know you. How stifling of him to say that.

I felt like it had potential until he called a few exes 'whores' and said one was after his money and never slept with him

slightly sexist? Oh god, he could pour a shopful of flowers on you and a Belgian shop of chocolates in your hallway and they'd all stink of misogyny.

Just how old is he to come out with this over intense shit? And to never have had a relationship for more than 4 months? and to call ex's whores? I'd bet the one he said 'was only after him for his money and never slept with him' was the lucky one. God, he expects anyone he takes out for a few meals to shag him? Sounds to me like he thinks of women as whores full stop actually.

maybe he's got the capacity to grow the fuck up but he sounds more like you struck coal than a diamond in the rought.

It felt a lot nicer overall and very mutual.

Your instincts are good. They're shouting at you.

you're my everything

That would freak me out too op. It might be that he's just saying what he thinks guys say though.

Oh and the whole "You're not like other girls". a.) I really dislike being called a girl to be honest and b.) what's wrong with other girls

Sorry if it's a bit dripfeedy!

Your friend is over invested and is herself dating a twat. Her counsel certainly therefore needs to be discarded.

It is too much and too soon; the red flags are flying here particularly with regards to his all exs are whores comments. Quick attachment and commitment are also red flags.

You have every right to end a relationship that is not fundamentally working out and you do not need anyone's permission to do that. You also do not owe anyone a relationship.

When you dump him, make sure you tell him that you were massively put off by his attitude towards women.

You know that saying - when they tell you who they really are, LISTEN - I think it applies here. He's telling you he's an idiotic, misogynistic boor who thinks women are either whores or gold-diggers, and he's calling you a girl to keep you in your place too.

I would say dump his sorry arse. Later, you'll hear from your mutual friend the doormat that he is calling you a "whore" or "golddigger" or possibly a "pricktease" depending on how far things have gone with him.

He's not going to improve. Not unless he's only just 18 or something, and still has a lot of growing up to do - but it doesn't sound like it.

Once Spot on I think. I feel annoyed I question the overal thing sooner. I just know I can be a bit too judgy sometimes relationship wise and have had such a busy month with DS and school and work that I've barely stopped to think or have any time to myself.

It sounds like you don't want to listen to your own instincts.