Do I agree to DH staying out for the night?

[LittleMonkeysMum]

Am I being a complete cow? He has a friend who lives about 1 1/2 hours away (by train and tube) or an hours drive. This friend loves their boys nights out, and hasn;t got kids so is still keen for them to meet up and go cheesy nightclubbing. Non of the group are heavy drinkers, and I don't think they're likely to be off with other women, but you can never be 100% sure. It's just that I don;t see why he needs to stay out for the night. My reasoning at the moment is that I'm 8 1/2 months pg and walking like a horse rider etc so the timing's a bit crap.
However, in the long term, why does he need to stay out? Why can't his friend and wife come here? Surely there comes a point in a mans life when he stops doing that nightclub thing?! DH is 35 FFS!! My Dad never stayed out all night? Am I being unreasonable?

IM sure my H was working away over night (3hrs) at 8 1/2 months.....my H left me alone for 8 days with DS 2 & 5 week old baby....

having said that he is now exH

seriously tho think u should let him go ^& then when baby couple of weeks olf, you wil have loads of browny points for going down pub for coupe of hours

I would let dh go. Well, let isn't the right word. I wouldn't have a prtoblem with it, apart from the 'could give birth' element. In fact, when dh has nights out in LOndon, I always ask if he has a mate at work that he could stay with.

But nobody is saying he should be tied to the house intil the kids are 18, are they Blondilocks?

HI Oranges

Anyway my DH went away to work for one week when I was 27 weeks pg (left on the Sun afternoon to start work on the mon) On the monday at 6 I spoke to him to say I wasn't feeling well and was going for a check up, by 9pm he was on the way back as I had collapsed with pre-eclampsia and the hospital wanted to deliver the baby. I refused!! I made them wait until he got there (2am) and I promised them the minute he walked in my BP would fall It did by 15 points!! DD1 was born a couple of days later!!

So the moral of this one is that 8.5 months, 6 months pg it can happen anytime

Persoanlly I would be there on the dancefloor with him trying to shake the bugger out!!

That's my point SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve! I just wish he felt like he shouldn't go due to responsibilities, and also that he wouldn;t want to leave me alone at this stage. I had a 4 hour labour last time, and am a bit anxious about him being 1 1/2 hrs minimum away since second labours can be quicker and earlier, and like I said I already feel like I'm walking like a jockey.

Also the point about 'let' him go, I know it's not appropriate language, but I mean should I have a problem with it?

I understand what everyone's saying re. trusting him etc etc, but it's just not what I had in mind for my DH to be doing. I have no issue at all with him going out with his mates, but it's just the staying out thing I take issue with. Possibly because I know a sleazebag who regularly does want to stay out, and who is not faithful at all, and whose wife is blissfully unaware.

Blimey dmo, you're a better woman than I, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I would agree to OH going to Amsterdam for the weekend with the lads.

I'm looking forward to when we can go out together, and of course each of us to go out seperately too is fine.

I would be happy enough for dp to do this so long as I knew exactly how he would get back in the event of labour and that he would be contactable at all times.

Dp very, very occasionally has stayed out overnight but he has stayed at his parent's house rather than at a mates. I didn't mind when he arranged it in advance but I was mightily unimpressed when he rang me up pissed as a fart saying he couldn't get back home .

I've agreed to dp going on stag dos in Berlin and Amsterdam. He phoned me at least once a day and on the Amsterdam trip kept complaining that he was bored and wanted to come home as he didn't want to smoke joints and he couldn't drink anymore.

no, total ban on all fun for the next 18 years

35 is young! why shouldn't he go clubbing once in a while

Having said that i would feel uncomfortable with dp being 1.5 hours away and pissed when i was 8.5 month pg. Under any other circumstances i would be please to have a partner that still knows how to enjoy himself with his friends

DH stays out for the night a lot of the time - with friends or in hotels etc

But there is no way he would have got drunk when I was 8.5 months pregnant! He'd want to be sober and ready for driving action if required!

Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I love nights in on my own (well, with kids). But I would feel uneasy about it at your stage of confinement! And if I made my unease known to him I would expect him not to go! Your opinion is more important than his mates!

Anyway, wouldn't it be better for him to have his boys' night out after you've given birth? To wet the baby's head and all that?

It's just how you said "he knows his responsibilities" SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve as if being responsible means not going out.

I don't see what the big deal with OHs being at the births is. I'm quite glad mine wasn't there. He didn't know til it was all over (but it was very quick).

I think it would be irresponsible of my dh to go out and leave me 8.5 months pregnant with two other small children and no one nearby to call on in an emergency. Luckily for me he wouldn't consider it (because he knows his responsibilities!), so I don't have to tell him. I did also say that he would be quite welcome to go out at any other time, as long as there wasn't a blindingly obvious reason why it was a bad idea. I certainly didn't say he should be shackled to the house until the child is 18.

I personally wouldn't have a problem, especially as it doesn't sound like it will be a wild night but if I were 8 1/2 months pg I think I would ask him to postpone for a good couple of months. However this is based on both my DSs being pre-due date rather than post so by 8 1/2 months I would be on red alert.

Very recently I had a lovely evening at a friend's house and a few of us stayed over and had a relaxing breakfast then a day out shopping and a pub lunch. It was fantastic and I am so glad DH didn't kick up a fuss about it at all, think everyone needs a little break from the routine.

Should explain the reason that I am glad DH didn't kick up a fuss is that it would have taken the gloss off the weekend.

As a bloke, I would find the idea that my wife has a veto on my nights out as bizarre. also, if I wanted to be unfaithful, I like to think I'm smart enough to do that without doing it in such a cockeyed way.

That being said, it's so far out of order not to be within easy sober reach of a pregnant wife. Once we went into the glide path, I stopped drinking socially because I might need to wake up and drive at short notice.

It's called being a grown up.
He should be ashamed to be out of the house, let alone hours away and pissed.

I agree with DominiConnor

me too

by the way, if dh ever talked about "letting me" stay out all night, I would deck him.
even though he's smaller than me.

"It's called being a grown up?" Total bollocks, with due respect.

He is 90 mins away for what, 8 hours?

If you want clingy dependence with an emotional threat as camouflage, say "no". To say "off you go, but keep your phone close by" is the 'grown up' thing to do.

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