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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sex - very personal (and embarrassing!!!)

61 replies

quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:02

Um... lol this is quite embarrassing.

Me and dp havent had sex yet (been together 8 months) as I am having trouble (lots of pain!!) so we do all sorts of other things (leave that to your imagination lol)

he always seems to be doing the "giving", and i feel bad as he's doing all the work. any tips (lol) of what i can do (if you're not too embarrassed to give any) as i dont know what he likes and doesnt like

he has told me some things but they're a bit extreme or i dont like doing

OP posts:
Branster · 19/05/2004 22:06

i take it you don't favour ..uhm..bjs?

essbee · 19/05/2004 22:06

Message withdrawn

spacemonkey · 19/05/2004 22:07

try licking him all over - they generally like that

Flip · 19/05/2004 22:08

Is it just since you had a baby that sex has become painful? A friend of mine had a prolapse after giving birth and she couldn't have sex because of the pain.

Heathcliffscathy · 19/05/2004 22:08

sm

Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:09

well he wants me to give him bjs and sometimes i do, cos he likes 69, but sometimes (sounds so horrible!!!) i feel sick lol

dp's not one for showing if he's enjoying something, so im guessing and usually worrying does he like this or doesnt he. even if im kissing him on the neck i get paranoid lol

OP posts:
Branster · 19/05/2004 22:10

or try touching him a lot, slowly with your toes, all over him, with your hands, your hair, kissing him everywhere...?

Soulfly · 19/05/2004 22:10

You could go abit kinky and dress up for him? Have a relaxing bath together with candles?

Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:10

yea its been since havin dd, i had it checked out by doctor, and she gave me some suggestions on how to ease the pain, but she did say there's always having an operation, but im trying to avoid that as best as i can. luckly dp is very understanding and in no rush for sex (hes still a virgin) and is quite happy with us just doing other things

OP posts:
Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:11

done those soulfly, those were fun

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 19/05/2004 22:12

it's very difficult with no feedback from him, personally i prefer it if the man indicates in some way if he is enjoying whatever it is i'm doing. Although he will soon let you know if he doesn't like it!

sex is just another form of communication in a relationship - in time you will learn to read the signs he gives off when he's particularly enjoying something. But it might be worth asking him to be a bit more verbal to help you?

suzywong · 19/05/2004 22:13

If DP is still a virgin, how did you two come by the baby, or am I missing something?

Branster · 19/05/2004 22:13

don't think whether he likes it or not, do it for your own pleasure and it will transcend to him. touching yourself in front of him should be cool for him

Beetroot · 19/05/2004 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Heathcliffscathy · 19/05/2004 22:14

also, don't forget, that his biggest turn on may be (and hopefully is) when you're turned on...thus by giving, he is receiving iyswim...i agree that the more you can communicate about this, the better it might be for both of you

Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:15

beetroot dd is 17 months

suzywong i had dd with someone else

OP posts:
Branster · 19/05/2004 22:15

yes spacemonkey , that's a v good idea. talk to each other about what you'd both like. a scenario..

suzywong · 19/05/2004 22:16

I see, well let me get my thinking cap on then

Beetroot · 19/05/2004 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:16

well he has told me things he would like us to do, but most of it actually involves sex. other things are like bondage and stuff, and im not too sure about that, scares me a little lol

OP posts:
coddycodcod · 19/05/2004 22:17

buy a book

coddycodcod · 19/05/2004 22:17

yes well dont do it then!

Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:17

we're both 20 (young I know lol)

OP posts:
Branster · 19/05/2004 22:18

and don't be embarrassed! you can please him ! there's always the handjob....

Original poster
quiteembarassing · 19/05/2004 22:19

lol thats all i seem to do to him branster

OP posts: