It's been a bloody mess the first time around if I am honest.
I knew he liked me for a fair while, and to be honest I felt I had "all the power" if that's a horrible way of putting it so I went into it feeling like the FWB was more to protect his feelings that mine. Then very early on (about 5 nights together) I started to realise I actually really bloody liked him and it was nothing like a casual arrangement and the way we were behaving and feeling was more like boyfriend / girlfriend and that just evolved naturally without very much chat.
I genuinely didn't know at that point that his "I don't want a relationship right now" statement was actually so deeply rooted. I had absolutely no idea what a genuine fear of intimacy was so I reacted about as badly as you could imagine when he started pulling back by basically repeatedly telling him it wasn't good enough and to fuck off. So I made it worse instead of better because I didn't understand. I thought it was a classic case of he's just not that into you. If I'd honestly know what he was going through I would have just let him have space and understood he needed it.
I would say his intimacy issues are quite bad. He's really scared of both being hurt and hurting me. He did jump directly into a relationship with someone else within a few days but ended it with her within two weeks. I don't know what to make of that but either I meant very little to him or she was a confidence booster.
As it stands, he probably being as honest and open about it all as he can be. He says it's a fine line as he both craves to be with me, but also gets terrified and needs to create distance when we get very close. He says he knows he's not ready to be a boyfriend right now, so no he's not offerring me a relationship right now - but more a "more honest" FWB situation that has the possibility of blossoming if he can feel more comfortable.
He's actually been pretty good about facing up to the fact he has a massive problem. We've talked about him getting counselling, he's started reading "He's Scared, She's Scared" and we talk a lot about it. He's listening and he wants to feel better and be able to be happy again.
He's just said to me if we try again it will be diferrent, he will be more honest about what he's feeling instead of just trying to create distance or cause problems, he will spend more time with me without overthinking and just enjoying it and he says if he starts to fall in love he's going to just talk to me and work it out together.
So for now, that's just FWB, but it's not off the table to be more. The thing is though, what he says and what happens might be two very diferrent things. People with intimacy issues can be very hurtful. They can sabotage relationships and do hurtful things and most definitely going into this I could either be setting myself up for being hurt.
At the same time though, I am quite cool with moving slowly, I am fine with no marriage on the table or anything bonkers like that and I do genuinely want to be with him.
The attraction between us mentally and physically is nothing either of us has ever experienced before, and we just click and feel at home and happy together. But all of this is obviously an abnormal situation with potential to hurt me :(