Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found number on husbands phone

79 replies

NA200712 · 25/12/2015 21:49

So it's Christmas Day and me and the husband have ended it with an argument. We have a great relationship most of the time with a few arguments here and there like most people. He's an amazing dad and is very affectionate and I know I can count on him. I can't imagine my life without him.

I don't know why I did it but I looked at his contacts on his phone, he doesn't have many, but a woman's name caught my eye. I know he went to high school with her. I've asked him about it and he's said he has no idea how the number got in his phone and that he hasn't spoken to her in years. To me this is absolute bullshit, how does a number just appear in your phone, it doesn't. So at this point I'm wondering why is he lying to me. It's just a number, it's not like I've found messages or anything to her. I just asked why her number was in his phone. So now I'm very paranoid. Do I believe him? He's very stubborn so if he is lying he isn't going to give up the truth he won't want to be caught out looking a twat for lying.

He's gone mad for me looking at his phone which I can't blame him for but if he was to look at mine I don't think I'd care, I've nothing to hide. He's turned it all round on me saying I don't trust him etc so now I look the bad one. Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 25/12/2015 22:37

It will only appear on the 'phone in the way it appears on Facebook, so if she's on Facebook as Johnny Depp then that's what will appear. Not as Johnny D.

As for copying numbers from the old phone, they do it automatically and it will copy all numbers or all selected numbers. I'm sorry, but he has to have actively ensured the number is there.

NA200712 · 25/12/2015 22:39

Yeah he's admitted he must have copied her number from his old phone but my question now is why would he do that if according to him he's not spoken to her in years it doesn't make sense at all. I'm going to ask to see his phone bill so he can just prove it either way.

OP posts:
CherryPits · 25/12/2015 22:42

You can transfer the whole contact book from phone to phone. Its not a case of plugging in each number by hand.

NA200712 · 25/12/2015 22:42

He did with this as he went from Apple to Samsung

OP posts:
Beachlovingirl · 25/12/2015 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrimeDirective · 25/12/2015 22:52

Whatever the reason for him having this number on his phone, there is clearly no trust in your marriage - I wonder why that is. What made you want to look through his phone?

NA200712 · 25/12/2015 22:54

I honestly do trust him not to go out and cheat on me, I don't think he's like that, what I do think he might do is flirt wether it's text or whatever. This is more down to how I feel about myself, I feel likes he's going to find someone better than me. So I saw his phone and I looked. I realise that's my own issue and nothing to do with him but it made me want to look.

OP posts:
travellinglighter · 25/12/2015 22:59

Might not be Facebook. Does he do whatsapp? That does it occasionally to my phone.

unlucky83 · 25/12/2015 23:04

Another saying google contacts is a a pain for doing this - and Samsung is I guess an Android phone.
If someone has a google plus account it can also add things like phone numbers etc.
I ended up with hundreds of contacts on my phone - I have lots of 'work' contacts in my email account -I don't want to have to scroll through them or search to find the phone no I want!
The only way I got round it was creating a a new (google) email account transferred all my numbers to it (via the sim card) which has all my main contacts in it - then turning off autosync for my main google contacts and 'people' and just syncing with my 'contacts account'...
(If you just keep them on your sim then lose your phone you have lost your numbers -unless you back it up separately)
You can choose just not to display them - but I didn't want them taking up memory etc on my phone.
Someone else I know set up their work email to sync with their phone and it added all their work contacts - so they went through deleting them 'from their phone' - not realising they were also deleting them from the work email account Shock
(I hate google contacts... I give some people I don't know very well but their DC are friendly with mine names so I know who they are - eg 'child name's parent' ...I think it is especially if they have google plus but it changes them to their actual name and ignores the fact I have deliberately called them something else ...drives me insane...)

Dipankrispaneven · 25/12/2015 23:05

If it's innocent then why has he gone mad?

Perhaps because his wife has started snooping on his phone contacts?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 25/12/2015 23:08

I'm sure this is a Facebook thing, I had it on my phone, it randomly linked a couple of Facebook friends phone numbers, what's more it was virtually impossible to delete them off my contacts, I had to download an app to get rid of them.

WhimsicalWinnifred · 25/12/2015 23:10

My phone does it with my email contacts to I think. If she's an email contact it could be short form? Eg [email protected]. My email doesn't mention my surname anywhere I left it blank but maybe she simply entered a d and that's what it saved as? Unfortunately, clutching at straws tho.

mudandmayhem01 · 25/12/2015 23:12

I follow Aaron Paul ( the actor) on twitter and he appeared in my contacts, I wish !!

PrimeDirective · 25/12/2015 23:31

If you trust him, why the hell are you causing an argument over a phone contact?
Is your marriage not worth more than that?

AnyFucker · 25/12/2015 23:31

If it was automatic syncing then why hasn't all the rest of his FB contacts appeared on his phone ? I am assuming just hers.

ICanSeeForMiles · 25/12/2015 23:35

I've had people text me who I've had no idea who they are. Apparently got my number off fb, but that was all it was, I would have to save their number.

NA200712 · 25/12/2015 23:38

Yes it's just hers. My marriage is everything to me I just don't want to be lied to or made a fool of.

OP posts:
nameschangerer · 25/12/2015 23:40

It also syncs if he's been given numbers by email. Not just Facebook

nameschangerer · 25/12/2015 23:42

If she's an email contact and he's synced his email to phone it will add it. He doesn't even need to do anything.

I had random number added to my phone that was caused by this!

Pebbles601 · 26/12/2015 00:24

You can always search on his Facebook his "searches". I think it is in activity log and over the left you can click "searches" tells you when & who he has searched for. Would show if he has talked to her recently. My friend had a similar situation and found he had searched for the woman daily. It is hard when you don't believe him, yet you have no evidence.

CalleighDoodle · 26/12/2015 00:43

He has now given three differnet answers to having the phone nunber.
He has no idea.
Facebook auto sync
He copied it over.
I dont trust him at all at this point. Does he often flirt with women? You said that was a concern. Is that because it has happened?

tawse57 · 26/12/2015 01:00

FWIIW, I bought a new phone recently and it had something called Google Hangouts on it. Somehow it managed to download loads of phone numbers of people, including some exes, that I have had not contact with in over 10 years and stuck them in my contacts.

It even had photographs of some of them - which was a huge shock when I turned on my phone shortly after buying it to see the faces and names of people that were long out of my life.

I am not on FB or anything similar so I have no idea how these people were linked to me. I can only think that some really clever or devious Google tracking is going on.

Not an excuse or explanation for the number on your husband's phone. Just saying that these smartphones can do bizarre things.

crazycatguy · 26/12/2015 01:08

I think it's acceptable for men and women to be friends without jumping into bed with one another. I grew up overseas and that's just how it was.

Call me naive here eh?

TokenGinger · 26/12/2015 01:14

I haven't read all of the responses, so apologies if it's already been mentioned, but if it's an iPhone, double click the home button and at the top of the screen, recent contacts will show up.

TokenGinger · 26/12/2015 01:17

Although, it's questionable whether you should stay together as there's clearly no trust. If I saw a girl's number on my partner's phone, I couldn't give two shits as I trust him. I typed in "Ch" for Chinese the other day to call our loca takeaway and underneath, it said "Chloe Tinder". It didn't cause any worry or stress. It's obviously been in there since we started dating (I actually recall seeing it a month or two in to our relationship when I used his phone for the same thing). He just hasn't deleted the number. Equally, I haven't deleted the numbers of any guys I met onlin dating over a year ago - not because I'm in touch, but just because I'm too lazy to delete!