To feel sad that he hasn't messaged?

[catcalledhoover]

Went on a couple of dates with new guy who seemed quite into me (said I was nice company, attractive etc) and implied there was a future in us seeing each other, despite us living fairly far away and having busy lives. He is looking for a serious relationship rather than a fling and I believed him when he said that; so am I, eventually, but obviously happy to take it slow and play it by ear.

Anyway unfortunately our last date wasn't all sparks and fireworks, and was a bit stilted for various reasons. I was fairly sure at this point that I could take it or leave it and was happy to not see him again.

However speaking to friends about it, my mind got swayed and I thought I'd like to give it another chance to see if we can click.

We have chatted via text a tiny bit but he is not pursuing me. I don't know if he is offended about how things worked out on last date or just not that into me. I have suggested doing something else and he has not properly replied.

I just feel a bit rejected! I wasn't super keen on doing something anyway so don't get how the roles have changed so much and now I'm the one who is essentially chasing him?

[LuluJakey1]

OP, he just is not interested. If it goes badly on the second date there isn't any reason to go on. Sounds like he has stepped back and does not want contact. Maybe he feels a bit lonely too and has dithered over it thinking about being alone at Christmas. Whatever, he isn't showing any interest now.
And you are soundng totally over-invested in something that amounts to nothing.

[Cabrinha]

You said he's deleted the dating app? I don't know how you know that, but I'm out of touch with these things.

If he has, I suspect he was dating other people (as you do with OLD) that he likes and they've agreed to be exclusive.

[winkywinkola]

Go on a date with someone quickly. Try to be more light hearted about this sort of this and enjoy dating a few men causally. Have some fun instead of over analysing.

[LovelyFriend]

Op you seem really obsessively over interested in this guy even Though you insist you're not into him.

You will never know what other people are thinking or what's going on inside them. His actions seem perfectly normal to me. Couple of dates, not great, move on, be polite.

Maybe he's struggling to find a kind way to say "not even if hell freezes over". Leave the man be. He has no further obligation to you.

[LovelyFriend]

Op learn from this that overly attention seeking behaviour is a big turn off

[wannabestressfree]

I am afraid I am with the others.... Its too Much and taking up way too much of your head space. No more texting etc ..... If he wants to see you he will get in contact. Then make a decision/ twelve new threads....

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

"I have already casually said we should do something in the new year, he agreed, I said I'd be in his city in early January and to let me know if he'd be around."

That could have been interpreted as "Contact me in the New Year". Christmas is a hectic time for many people and you say he's also got a busy job, so if I were you I'd occupy yourself on other things and try not to think about what happened too much. If he's into you he has the perfect excuse to get in touch with a "Merry Christmas" text on Friday doesn't he.

[molyholy]

Sorry OP, but you really need to chill the fuck out. You're only bothered beacuse he is not chasing after and if he was you would probably be worrying that he was too intense. You have told him you will be in x city in early jan. Leave it now and move on. You're starting to sound abit mad now. It was 2 days, one of which sounds shit. Why do you even want to see him again?

[molyholy]

Dates not days