Who should pay?

[BeautifulLiar]

Hi, not looking for flaming/judgement/LTB etc but some impartial views as I'm pregnant and hormonal!

DH moved out in April after I told him to. However we've managed to work through our problems and he is due to move back in imminently. I can't wait - the kids and I don't see much of him as he works away a lot and has been living with his parents.

Anyway when he moves back in I will obviously lose income support/housing benefit etc. By default I just expected him to start paying the rent, council tax and bills as soon as he moves back in, as he works and I don't.

However he has said that he's skint and will struggle to pay for a couple of months. I was really annoyed, and still am, but I'm wondering whether we should just go halves for a month or two?

He will be getting more income than me but I have managed to save a bit over the summer (had awful morning sickness and didn't leave the house).

I've decorated the house to my taste while he's been gone and he's never said anything about it - in other words the house has been completely mine so it would make sense to put money towards it?

I suppose I'm just pissed off that he's had this disposable income since April yet I will have to "help out" with the rent if he struggles. Is it fair?

No idea where the money is, I'll ask him again, was probably on beer.

If you must know the holiday is a caravan holiday paid for by backdated DLA. The DC are desperate to go.

The car will be fairly essential as we'll have four DC.

Your backdated dla should be put away to cover your short fall on rent etc not blown on a holiday you can't afford.
It sounds like you are both irresponsible with money.....

Well we could've afforded it if we'd paid monthly and started a few months ago, but I didn't think we should as we weren't officially together. I said I did put money away for rent...

I am a shopping addict for sure but never default on bills..

I think wannabe is being a bit harsh. If you can afford bills and have some savings I don't think anyone should begrudge you and your kids a low-cost holiday. Less sure about the anniversary weekend with your on off partner however

Yes but you didn't and you weren't that's my point. I know I am coming over as harsh but you seem to be clinging to this reconciliation being a success and yet you haven't deal with your respective issues and he is already being an arse....
And yes of course the children would like a break but it's not a priority if your not agreed on rent etc...

I didn't say we hadn't dealt with our issues; I said I didn't want to bring them up (on here). I've already said the rent will be paid either by me, DH or partly the council otherwise I wouldn't have booked the holiday 4 nights in a caravan one hour up the road

The anniversary "weekend" is a night in the hotel we went to after we got married. It's our first anniversary, I'll be six months pregnant and we don't have the DC that weekend so it has been booked.

not sure why I haven't told him tbh. I very rarely bury my head in the sand...

I'm not buying this, your lack of knowledge of family finances and deference to a man who doesn't handle money well are examples of burying your head in the sand.

I think you need to start being honest with yourself and that includes admitting to yourself why you haven't told him about the rent. In the circumstance, I think having the rent money in your back pocket is sensible but it says a lot about the strength of your relationship that it's a secret and that you need the security.

How long have you been together and does your health issues pre-date your pregnancy?

I know it feels like we're getting at you but we are just concerned that him moving back in while there are so many unresolved issues, represents a step backwards.