I posted this is Mental Health but after the replies I got..Im now think that whats actually happening is that Im being manipulated
Apologies but this may be long sad
several months ago I met a guy who seemed really into me...after talking a lot online (we met through a shared interest) we arranged to meet as I discovered he lived locally...
after the first meeting he made it clear he was interested in me but that he couldnt offer a relationship right now and wasnt after something serious.
We lapsed into a friends with benefits arrangement but as time went on, we spent more time together talking about stuff, watching films etc and not sleeping together so I knew he wasnt just after sex, but I noticed his moods were erractic, sometimes he would be charming and lovely, othertimes almost hostile.
I could be round his one eve and he would be telling me how much he cared about me, liked me etc and we would end up in bed, then the next morning it would be as if he couldnt stand the sight of me.
I was bemused by the fact that at 40 years old he seemed isolated, didnt have friends and relied a lot on his parents, he eventually told me he had bi polar but would not treat it which was a worry.
From that point on life with him has been a rollercoaster where one minute he treats me as though Im his girlfriend and really important to him, then next, he will ignore me for a few days with just the odd fb message.
He constantly tells me that we are not together as it were and that he doesnt DO relationships because of his mental health etc..I have accepted that but our friendship has become very close and I usually stay round there at least two nights a week.
Recently I went abroad for a week and I think this made him anxious as he was very lovey dovey with me and even drove me to the airport.
Whilst I was away he messaged constantly and as I was preparing to fly home, messaged saying He would always be my friend for life and that his best thoughts were mine. He told me to hurry up and get home as it was too quiet without me
He collected me from the airport and fussed over me all evening, hugging and kissing me lots saying he had missed me..
fast forward two days..he literally kicked me out of the house..it felt so confusing..I have also recently been diagnosed with a long term health problem which he was supporting me with,
I messaged him the next night and said I was in hospital and he didnt even seem bothered.
Eventally I called round his at the weekend to find him wrapped in a duvet watching films, he looked annoyed I was there but made me a coffee..(he has told me that I am always welcome round his and that his home is my home, he leaves his back door open so I can just walk in )
After a while he said he was sorry but he had had enough of people and was feeling anti social..he said it wasnt personal but asked me to leave.
The next day, I felt worried about him, so called in..he said "Why are you here ?" I said I was worried about him and he started getting uppity saying, more like you came round because you wanted to see me..why are you always calling round? Im not your boyfriend you know Ive spelt that out to you...I hope you arent seeing more in this than there is ..
I was pretty upset by that statement as I know full well he isnt my boyfriend but understandably Im very fond of him.
I tried to explain that I was worried and he started ranting at me saying..why ?? you just called round here to reassure yourself...I told you I didnt want to see anyone yet you still come round!!!
He then proceeded to yell at me saying "This is the exact reason I didnt want people round because I lose my temper and get angry, I told you to stay away and you ignored me " I ended up bursting into tears and he just shouted saying "stop making it a drama!"..as he slowly calmed down he said..I dont think any less of you..you are one of the best people I know..up there with my parents, but seriously, dont ever do this to me again" he then politely asked me to leave, but as I went he said...."look if you really need me, message me, but failing that Ill be in touch in a few days "
I left feeling bereft and upset because I see he is online on facebook (before he goes to work) and is commenting on lots of things, also he is young looking for his age and very attractive so younger women flock round him and he flirts back with them online.
I dont really know what to do as it seems like he cares about me one minute but not the next but I dont want to walk away because I think he needs the friendship sad