Partner making porn

[snetmums]

Going to be a quick post but...

You've been with said partner for around eighteen months .

He is a hobbyist/amateur photographer.

You've discovered that he has in the past, and occasionally still does, photographs and participate in porn images. (Mostly POV, or camera obviously set up on tripod).

Your partner claims you shouldn't be upset, as it's just 'acting'. He is in his late forties, all women in photos appear to be in mid twenties.

How would you deal with this? My instinct is to get away asap, or am I being a 'prude' as has been implied?

Ridiculous man.

Another LTB from me.

He's cheating on you.

He doesn't get to tell you whether you're "over-reacting".

Only YOU get to say what you find acceptable, or not.

You are entitled to your own standards.

If you don't like it, you don't like it .His opinion is irrelevant.

How did you find out?

I'd go fucking mad personally.

I just can't get over this! Calling you a prude! It's like calling a woman frigid just because she doesn't want to have sex with you.

I really hate that dubious link between a photography hobby and porn. I remember whenever I used to see Photographic Monthly magazines lying round, and they always had a 1/2 dressed woman on the front.

Not sure where I used to see them lying around though, but I must have becaus it always sticks in my mind.

He is having his cake and eating it
Stability of a relationship plus he gets to have sex with different women
LTB

If it's just acting and art why didn't he tell you at the beginning of the relationship?
Leave that fool

Acting? What?

I'm afraid I'd be gone, wouldn't even want to bother having a talk about it. And I'd be down the clinic as quick as anything AND if I had by awful chance caught anything I'd keep his pathetic messages as to why he didn't tell you, and tell the police- he could be carrying anything and not caring who he infected. I dont understand why you're not furious:(

What a horrible thing to find out, especially when you don't like that kind of thing. He should have told you.

Imho, he is obviously stretching the definition of prude to accuse you to manipulate you. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a prude in the first place.) He is reaching for straws to save face...and trying to have the last word. Let him have the last word; you speak with your feet and get away from him. Trust your instincts.

Are you sure he has not secretly photographed you?

People work in the porn industry for a variety of reasons. One is/was that in the 90s. certainly, it was fairly easy money. People who do work and have worked in the softcore UK porn industry, particularly those who really did do it for the money, or because they drifted into it for a bit of fun, might not tell a new partner because so many other people stigmatize the whole industry. UK softcore is pretty much dead as a business now, though.

However, the combination of your distaste for it and his reaction suggests that you probably aren't compatible.

I'm just amazed that you needed to ask, tbh.

Yuck, Creepy. I'd run for the hills. How do you know he hasn't covertly filmed you? Can you check?

This stuff is probably on the Web already. Making porn is fine but not in this scenario I'm afraid. LTB.

Thanks for the many replies.

Since found out he paid some of these models to these shoots with him. He also reckons that most of the women approached him and that he was just 'helping'...

Off to the STD clinic now. Have told him I don't want to discuss it. Calm at the moment, but I'm one of those people who's anger takes a few days to kick in...no doubt I will be ready to kick his arse when he comes to collect his stuff on Sunday!

I don't want to alarm OP but he didn't take any pictures of you that you wouldn't want online did he?
I'd also be worrying about hidden cameras, but that's maybe just me

No, he didn't...although am also worrying about hidden cameras...!

Maybe now is a good time to rearrange the bedroom just in case.

Well done OP.
And let the anger kick in and kick his arse.
Blimey, I don't do this often but he really takes the

What a very kind man he is helping all these women with his camera and his cock

well done OP. Stay strong

Art?!? Is poem now a form of art?
Nude yes but porn is quite different isn't it?

Sorry should have been porn is now a firm of art ...

Doesn't anyone find these 'men' if you can call them that just bloody outrageous? And why is it that perfectly reasonable women fall for their version of reality? 'Its only acting' ffs! And calling you a prude! And he's in his forties and the women in their twenties...why do women give these arseholes any validation, any attention, any consideration even... and why does what they think actually matter to them?
I despair sometimes....

His first mistake was keeping it from you (lying to you by admission). Then he cheated on you many times by having sex and paying for it. He then potentiality risked your health. Lastly he belittles you by calling you a prude and trying to make cheating sound reasonable. Get away fast from this lying, cheating, bullying creep.

Omg, I'd be horrified and rearranging the furniture, just in case ...