People who met their DH after 30 - tell me your stories? Feeling low today, all my close friends married by 27...

[fedup098]

I posted earlier about not having had much luck with dating this year. I'm 30.

Can anyone tell me their stories (hopefully happy ones!) about meeting their DH?

All, and I mean all, my close friends married between ages 24-28. I need some positive stories!

Me and several friends were single at around 33, 34. We made a large multi-date/small party with every single man we could invite (many online dating, some others). I'd already made a 'minimum requirements' list - really not a demanding one but very personal; just as important for what wasn't on it as for what was. There was a very quiet man in one corner that I hadn't spoken to until quite late in the evening, but the aim was to talk to everyone, and eventually we sat down together. A few days after that evening I emailed him and asked him out. We married and had a child a decade ago.

I've just met someone at 29 after years of singleness interspersed with various crappy and non committed relationships of a year or 2 max each. A couple of months in and I can tell that this time is different. I think you do know what you want a lot more when getting towards or into the 30s.

I empathise... I felt very much like you. Got married after 30 but now separated. I look back and cherish the time when I was single. I'm saying that as my marriage was rocky and I have a lot of stress now.

There is plenty of time to meet someone ab take your time with it. My advice is not to focus on marriage as the be all. Spend time on you and be kind to yourself x

I was 31 and had had a disastrous series of relationships of roughly 6 months happy, 3 months miserable, 3 months single and then round again since splitting with a serious boyfriend about 6 years earlier. I was in a slightly longer than usual single phase and all my friends knew it!
I went to a work summer BBQ for the 'young professionals' I was included because despite my 'advanced age' I was on the grad scheme. One of my friends came over and nudged me and pointed out that there was a new guy and he seemed keen on one of my favourite hobbies. I hurrumphed and pointed out that just because we shared the same hobby didn't mean I'd like him. However, we found ourselves at the bar later and bonded over a shared dislike of organised party games (which is where we were supposed to be!). We set up a time to go and do our mutual hobby. I then discovered he was on one of the online dating sites I used. Having effectively established that he was both single and looking I suggested drinks after our hobby outing and it went from there. We got married this summer after 3 years. He's rather younger than me (was 27 when we met) but it doesn't seem to have caused any issues.

my story so similar to missmoffatts almost thought I'd already posted! We met when I was 37, got married and DS two years later when nearly 40, second child two years after that, family complete! Only difference is had a DD second and met at night school, but in line with what others have said, def wasn't looking for love in the classroom was pursuing a career change. Which I never did get round to funnily enough...

My DD had a long relationship in her late teens/early 20s which she ultimately ended and then a very long and unhappy spell of being single. Eventually she decided to stop focusing on the gaps in her life and to look for new challenges - she resigned her job, rented out her flat and made plans to go travelling for a year. While she was planning her adventure she met a guy at a social event and they've been inseparable ever since. She did carry out some of her travelling plans but has now changed them so that they can enjoy the experiences together. It's such a cliche to say that you find someone when you're not looking, but often it does seem to be true!

emwithme Lovely story there:) As to the OP your not over the hill, on the shelf or whatever they call it these days. Just get out and about, find an activity that you enjoy and if your thick skinned enough there's always online dating, but do expect a lot of dross before you find someone who is worth shacking up with.

Met my DH after my Mum was talking to his D Step mum
My DSS is so busy working he never has time to go out and meet a nice girl
Oh , bring him to meet my daughter

( me ) Mum , I'm going to kill you

I was 32 and DH 34
21 years and 2 children later , it seems to be going ok

I met my lovely DP when I was 38 and he was 34, both had a previous LTR (and DCs with them) so not a first time around thing, but for both of us it's like the previous 'trial run' has shown us clearly who we really are and what we need in a partner, whereas 15 years ago I didn't know myself or what was important to me.

As a proper grown up with 3 DCs I'm more aware of my own needs, those of my DCs and also of how to make someone else happy, so my DP and I honestly believe we have the best relationship of anyone we know!

From what I hear of him, I would have found him too immature and selfish 10 years ago, and I have also changed a lot since splitting with XH and I think a lot of the things DP loves about me have come about because of my life experiences so far.

We have loads in common, we share the same sense of humour and general outlook on life, he is just coming into his own at work while I am building a business. It's like our lives have converged at the best possible time somehow! At 42 I never thought I'd be feeling younger, happier and more carefree than I have for a very long time.

I'd definitely say that meeting someone when you are both older - when you know what you want (and more importantly, what you don't want) from life and from a partner - can be just as fulfilling as meeting someone and growing together in ways that you might not otherwise have done.

I should have married someone aged 34 but found he was cheating just before the wedding, cue a cancelled wedding and a lot of hurt and emotional baggage. I did a year or so of ID but wasn't in the right place for it. I moved back to where I grew up and a friend wanted to set me up with someone she knew but I wasn't in the mood. Eventually I met him elsewhere and liked him. He was with someone else at that point, but there was always a spark between us. A few months later, when he was single, he asked me out. It was so easy. Within a month he had moved in, within six months he was talking about getting engaged. I wanted to wait longer, I'd been through too much. A year later we got engaged and a year after that we got married. It just over ten years since we met and I still adore, respect and admire him. I couldn't ever believe a relationship could be so good/easy/right. I'm glad I didn't marry earlier boyfriends. I wasn't mature enough to see they weren't right for me. I fitted in with them rather than them fitting my life..

I met my DH at 33(he was 38). Both been single for most of that time. We married 2 years later, DS followed when I was 38 and twins at 42. Transformed my life meeting DH (we met doing a postgrad course) at a point in my life when I thought I'd be single forever.

Almost all my friends were married st similar ages - I spent the years from 24-29 attending about a dozen weddings a year!

I was engaged but called it off when I was 30 - nice guy but I realised we were not meant to be.

I had a very happy couple of years single and not dating then j met my husband, took a leap of faith, moved countries with him, got married and now at 36 I'm feeding our brand new baby (in a happy sleep deprived fog at 4:30am...)

People will say to you that 27 is still young, and it will sound incredibly patronising. But it's right. I'm almost ten years on from where you are and a lot has happened in that time. An awful lot can happen for you too.

My advice would be to enjoy being single. To never, ever settle for someone not right just because you feel time is ticking. And to keep your eyes open and be prepared to take a chance or a new direction.

Good luck. I really hope it works out for you.

I met my dh at work, if it's any help ;)

When I was 35 and had given up, I'd been dating someone totally unsuitable, if fun, but it wasn't going anywhere. Met v grown up now husband, with kids and a v proper job and, as a friend said, a proper grown up car. We both have baggage but you do don't you.?

Married at 25 and divorced at 46. Met my now DH at a house party when I was 48 (he was 43). Friends manipulated seating so that often the only free seat was beside me. He and I knew nothing of this. Left me home and we went to cinema the next week. I thought 5 years younger was too big a gap.... but went for it. Well...he was pretty gorgeous in a quirky way and made me laugh. Plenty of electricity. He was bringing up his 3 sons 12, 15 17. I had one son 19 at uni. I didn't want to be hasty cos I was working, independent,owned my home, and didn't want to jeopardize my hard one freedom. We dated for about 6 months doing the weekends away etc before starting to spend time just chilling in each other's homes.
We spent 7 years together spending regular and overnight time in each other's homes. At year 8 I rented out my house and moved in with him.
In year 9 we got married. His Ds1 got married the same year, and mine the following year. His Ds2 a year later, and his ds3 and girlfriend bought the house next door.
We've now been married 11 years, nearly 20 together in total.
4 dgc so far.
I was the woman who definitely was never going to remarry.
He has been my rock.
Today is his 62 birthday and dgd made a card for him saying, ""Granda loves us, we love Granda, he's got hardly any hair, and he's got the bestist wife.ever, our granny cool.""

I was 31. Marriage and kids was not even on my radar at 27. No way. I was way too young and had loads more I wanted to do. By 38 we were married with 3 kids.

Prior to that I'd had boyfriends, but I'd not lived with anyone, and not considered any of them husband material. I wasn't worried at all. I considered myself (and still do) a great catch.

31 years old my 21st date off plenty of fish dating site

Met my dream man, 2 years later married, 2 years after that our son born

Said son has just turned 1

He was my 21st date off Internet and I was his1st date off internet

A good friend of mine gave my brother my email address and number and we went on a blind date 3 weeks before I was 31. I moved in three months later (officially, in reality I'd been living there pretty much from the off) We married when I was 33, had our first baby at 34. I'm now 37 and am feeding our 12 week old daughter as I type. :)

Jengnr that's lovely but illegal in most countries

Haha! HIS brother!! HIS!!!

It's ok, no one judges on MN everyone judges on MN

I was 36 (divorced, dating but in a nothing serious ever again) when I met DH. I met him through a friend and adored him I was drawn to him but kept my distance for a while (I didn't want a relationship I was certain, my two DD and I were it. My life). But man he was quickly a wonderful friend / confidant. He never asked for more, nor realised I was smitten. Eventually my other friend (they house shared) moved away. And as I'd never deliberately gone round to see him (the other friend did a weekly get together). I had a bit of a crisis decided 'what the hell' and told him how I felt. He was brilliant. Willing to take on the risk of getting hurt if I couldn't commit long term with my own DD etc. But it all worked. I am 40, pregnant, married and finally loved up.

I have a son who at 32 is feeling like you do. all his friends are now in couples and having kids. His social circle has accordingly diminished and he is having no luck with OLD (he is the type who needs to form a friendship first).

Good job,own flat, and he thinks it is never going to happen!

I am sure it will, but he doesn't believe me.

The reality is that in 10 years time many of your friends who married in their 20's will be divorced.
In the grand scheme of things you are young, just get on living your life the best way you can and it will happen for you.

Hazel have you considered finding him an MN wife? That would be the most amazing story. You could probably make a TV show about it...

The brother/sister thing is interesting. My DD1 and DS1 are both in relationships now but both have had their sibling's friends attracted to them a number of times. "He/she is just like a boy/ girl version of you", is the usual line.

So single ladies, chances are your brother's mates or your mate's brother would be a good match.

I'd given up by 30 even looking for a long term committed relationship. Met DP round about that time and we were FWB for five years. His tenancy was coming to an end so he suggested he move in and I said yes on the understanding he needed somewhere to live rather than him wanting to live with me. Took about a year for me to realise he meant it. (Yes I am slow). Celebrated 18 years this year. Still love him to pieces and glad I didn't commit earlier on in life when I wasn't really sure who I was or what i wanted and my choices were more luck than judgement. I will be with DP forever.