What would you make of this after a date? Male opinions welcome too please!

[whaysyiur]

I had a date on Friday night. We met for drinks in Nottingham and then had dinner afterwards (not planned, just sort of happened).

I was introduced to this guy through a friend at my local gym. We messaged for about a week before meeting up and we had some great conversations. I was excited to meet him.

When we met, we had probably too much to drink in the end, but it was a fun night. BUT, this is why I am unsure...

1. He kissed me on my cheek but didnt try to properly kiss me (I do online dating and 9/10 they try and kiss me, so I feel this was a bad sign)
2. He messaged me about 20 mimutes after we left to say he had a 'fun night'... we then text for another hour
3. I suggested meeting next weekend (never do this usually but really like him) and said we could go to xmas markets as we had talked about them a lot during the date. He said 'ha. well they do look good.' we then talked some more and that was that.

I had no phone all day saturday, until this afternoon as I got a new one that I traded in yesteday morning (he knew this). So if I hear from him it will be this afternoon.

How should I approach this if he does contact again? I dont understand why he would talk so much but not arrange another date, respond well when i suggest another weekend, or even try and kiss me....

we're both early 30s if that makes any difference!

Having worked in male environments and heard them chatting when they forgot I was there, I can assure you of one thing.

If a man is keen, you will know about it. They will often agree to a second date if it's offered, that's not the same as them pushing for it.

Very few exceptions to the rule in my experience.

If he's anything like my husband, he may be feeling nervous after the meet and not want to seem desperate so may be waiting for you to text!

he wasnt nervous before the date AIN, heard from him all the time then!

Just txt the guy, found out for sure, I think he's waiting to hear from you because of the phone thingy.

seeyou he definitely knows i have my phone back and knows it is same number (discussed on date)

I reckon he thinks you haven't gotten it back because you haven't told him! For all he knows, there's been an issue with you getting it back and therefore he hasn't text you.

There is also
c - hoping that something will happen but also getting on with your life

Trills well said.

He doesn't though cause you said you haven't txt him with it.
He knew you were supposed tonget one after not having one all day Saturday, for all he knows something went wrong and you're phoneless.

Ime men, myself included, are a bit simple.
He'll be happy you txt, hell I'd be happy if you txt me, I'd wonder where you got my number, but I'd be happy. Lmao :)

Oh OP, nothing worse that a Sunday evening just waiting. We've all been there. From what you know of him what will he be doing at the moment?

Don't want to get your hopes up but 7-7.30pm is when they usually stir.

am I the only person thinking - you saw him on Friday night, give him 5 minutes to breathe!!

he could be having a busy weekend surely?

Nope lorelei am thinking the exact same.

Very rarely comment these days but I think you're sounding a bit desperate. But then I've been married 30 years and may not be in touch with modern mores. He's got a life. You've got a life. Give the man some room. And BTW Christmas markets ?! If he goes with you , he must be keen.

I'm with lorelei too and the time to start thinking about trawling round Christmas markets with a guy is nearer to the day itself as, no matter how much you talked about them on Friday, it's a far too 'couply' outing to suggest after one date.

If you haven't heard from him by Tuesday send a text saying 'got my new phone sorted. hope all's well with you' and wait to see if he responds. If not, write him off and move on to the next candidate.

Do try to take yourself in hand as obsessing over a matter such as this suggests that you may be coming from a place of emotional neediness and, if that's the case, there's a danger you may overlook the red flags that come with so many men who sign up to old.

Not OLD, so different rules really.

Apologies - I should have read your OP but, to my mind, it's not too different from old in that you know very little about him, unless of course the friend who introduced you happens to be a very close friend of his.

If he attends the same gym as you, maybe he's assuming he'll see you there during the week?

Totally understand how you feel op. Horrible not knowing.

Most dates I've had they've asked for the second date while on the date or texted or called a lot afterwards but I did meet one guy who told me he always waited three days so as not to appear keen.

Current bf didn't call after first date and I was gutted and presumed he didn't like me. Turned out he did like me a lot but he's a commitment phobe and dodges getting to close and he's given me a right headache and brought out the crazy in me because he doesn't let me know where I stand ever.

So my point is...could be he's not interested...could be he's waiting a few days...could be he likes you but isn't one to show it so watch his behaviour closely. Nothing worse than the hot and cold game

Kissed you on the cheek on date 1.

Normal.

Wake up and welcome to real life.

Sorry got caught up in dinner prep. But luckily for you nipper wants another night feed.

Joy.

I would take his response as being pro Christmas market but assume details would be sorted nearer time.

But I don't think someone texting to push me along would put me off , I often need that little show !

Fwiw I wouldn't get in touch. Get on with your week and if you haven't heard from him by Wednesday, and you're still interested ask him out for a drink. Don't mention the fayre though.

I also think it's quite normal to text daily up to the first date but for that to then ease off a little after the first date.

Why? Well you've met by then, it all starts to feel a bit more real and people's emotions start to become involved. It's reasonable then to not want to appear overkeen or runaway with things.

Not sure why people are saying the Christmas Market idea is a bad one tbh.

I think it's quite a nice idea: things to look at and do to talk about, beer and food. Perfect!

I would normally say don't text but because of your new phone there could be a misunderstanding. Just send a quick message saying, hi got new phone same number hope you ok. Then leave it.

I do think it's unusual he's not texting you so much now and it might be a sign he's not keen. I have arranged a second date on the first but then changed my mind over the next few days, it happens.

If you haven't already text him, you obviously want to so just text the man!

Whilst your on here fretting, he's casually eating, drinking, sleeping doing "man things" and more than likely waiting to hear you have your phone back...

Just text him

Agree Ellie. I said as much waaay back

"man things"
What are these mythical 'Man things' I occasionally see mentioned?

And do women do "Women Things"? If they do, what are they?